Thursday, July 17, 2008

You Can Be My Friend

Hey. Do you need a friend? Do make friends easily? Do you want a friend?

Friends have been very important to me over the course of my life. Maybe because I love to be around people or maybe because I'm pretty good at making friends. I don't say that to brag at all, but for some reason people usually feel comfortable around me. I can meet someone and within 5 minutes they are sharing things with me they've never told anyone. I don't know why that is.

Friendships come in all forms: church, co-workers, neighbors, high school, college, long-distant, BFF's, casual, deep, No Matter What (those are my favorite), aquaintances, face to face, e-mail and blogging buddies, family, mentors, and I could go on and on. Often it is friends who remind you the most that you are beautiful when you don't feel like it or forget. Often it is a friend who understands you when no one else does. Often it is a friend who will tell you the truth even when it hurts, but they still love you anyway. And often it is friend who breaks your heart.

I have noticed that women seem to thrive on friendships. Of course we are all different, but it just seems like the women I meet and hear from are looking for good friends. They desire closeness with other women. They desire community and a safe place to fall. They want to have someone or better yet a group of people who are there for them to laugh with, cry with, get crazy with, sing with, pray with, and love....

A really really really good friend...a NO MATTER WHAT friend (that means they are there for you and love you NMW...hard to find I might add)..anyway, a NMW friend has these qualities:

1-They love you unconditionally and unfailingly.
2-They forgive you.
3-They encourage you.
4-They serve you.
5-They hold you accountable.
6-They pray for you.

I have many good friends, but very few NMW friends. Those are rare and precious. I have asked myself recently, am I that kind of friend? I confess, I've failed miserably in this area over the past year. Maybe it's because my life was in shambles, but that's not a good excuse really, although it is true. Maybe it's because I went back to work full time for the first time in 13 years, again, no excuse. Or maybe it's because I just didn't feel like making the effort......

The truth is, my heart desires to do the right thing. My heart loves way big. Mercy often consumes me and becomes a weakness. I want so badly to be your best friend, but I'm not real good at it. I end up making so many friends that there is just no way to give them what they deserve. Recently I was called on this. And I have not known how to respond because it just broke my heart that this friend was so disappointed in me. Oh how I love friends. I would never want to intentionally hurt anyone.

I received over 200 blog comments ( and over 100 emails over the past 2 days. Now this is not the norm I promise you that, but my heart desires to personally respond to each one of them, especially those who poured out their hearts to me. But I just can't do it all. That makes me feel crummy.

More often than not, I have great plans of something I'm going to do for a friend, like: buy them something special, send them a thank you note, send them an email, give them a phone call, etc. I will wake up in the morning intending to do that. Well you what they say the road to hell is paved with don't you? Yep, good intentions. (that's just a saying, don't blast me for it please) Do my good intentions make me fake? I'll mean to follow through, but then the day takes over and before you know it the day is gone. I hate that!!!!! I promise you, I do not mean to be a bad friend. Am I? Look at my heart, it's really good, it really loves you...oh my actions need to be quicker and better in this area though.

All this to say, I don't feel like a very beautiful friend lately. Do you want to be my friend now?

Hey seriously, friendship is a gift from God. And speaking of that, one of my NMW just walked in the door. And she brought dinner! I guess I should get off the computer and spend some time with her. Her name is Donna:) She rocks.

I'll be your friend if you like. And you can be mine too, that is if you still want to.

Blessings Beautiful Friends,



Diane said...


A true NMW friend doesn't write on your blog or reach out to you because they desire a response. Yes, I will still be your friend, but be real, you will drive yourself nuts trying to respond to a 300 people. Take them, cherish them and know us out in cyber land love you and want to support you. It just is how it is.
I love ya and yes,still want to be friends to you.
BYT How is the WW going?

Joyful said...

Sweet Melissa, you can't get rid of me that easily - you're stuck with me girl. I was longing for a NMW friend, and God sent you along. There is NOTHING you can ever say or do that will change my love for you. God gifted you to me, and your friendship is a treasure I just keep unwrapping and enjoying more and more. I've honestly shared with you more about me in the short time I've known you than anyone ever! I have found a faithful confidant in you and I'm so, SO very thankful for YOU!!!! I pray I will be a good friend to you. I will be a NMW friend to you - for always and forever!

I love YOU!

Jen said...

I will be your friend!! Your not going to get rid of a lot of people that easily... Love ya friend!!! You are BEAUTIFUL!!! :) God bless you my dear friend!!!!!!

Bernadette said...

Hello Melissa,

I love friendships!!! I have soooo many people in my life as well. Smile! I am not able to spend quality time with any of them. I am also going to start working on that. Thanks for the reminder!

I love your transparency and the pictures.

Just wanted to comment. Enjo

Lisa Ford said...

Hey Melissa!

A song popped in my mind while reading this..."You have a Friend in Me."

I think that summes it up nicely!

:) Lisa Ford