Thursday, October 30, 2008

I Kissed A Girl

Welcome...and no, I didn't really kiss a girl! I just wanted to get your attention. That is actually the title of a very popular song by Katy Perry. Yes, the main lyrics state, "I kissed a girl and I liked it." Katy is a girl and her song is all about her "girl kiss".

If you are stopping in for a visit after reading my devotion today from Proverbs 31 Ministries,
I'm glad you did. Please feel free to comment, read past posts, and come back to visit any time. This blog is written for the glory of God and by sharing my life struggles with honesty, I pray that someone else is impacted, even if it's in the smallest way.

So, back to the title here "I Kissed A Girl". That was the title I originally gave the devotion just because I wanted to grab the reader's attention. Wisely, our editors thought it would be a bit much to run a devotion with that title, so we changed it. There were other things that we edited out for the sake of space and respect, but on this blog I'm going to just tell it like it is. I almost didn't write this devotion because I was afraid it might cross the line a bit and offend some people. Oh did God ever speak to me about that!!!! Basically, I knew in my heart and mind that God would want me to cross the line and if it offended anyone, so be it. I feel with all my heart that we need to discuss and be aware of what is in our pop culture today. Then we can decide how to deal with it, confront it, or make peace with it. This is all my opinion and I have prayed about my words before I wrote them.

I love music and now that I'm older I do listen to the lyrics much more than I used to. In fact that is usually what draws me into a song or pushes me away from one. I remember when I was a teenager... I might have known all the lyrics to a song, but I didn't really think about what they meant. I thought they were harmless. I can't believe I used to sing aloud "Like A Virgin" by Madonna and never really paused to think of what the song was about. Like most my age, I loved music and Mtv. My boys tell me today that they could care less about the words of a song, they like a song if the guitar and drum parts are cool. With all that said, I know music is a big influence whether we are aware of it or not. This song by Katy Perry is just one of many that I could make an issue of today.

Actually, it makes me more sad than mad. Sad that girls today are being enticed...yes enticed, encouraged, and even persuaded to bump and grind on the dance floor with each other. They are kissing each other, flirting with each other. Calling each other pet names. And it has nothing to do with being gay. That's a completely different topic. Guys are encouraging girls to "get it on" because it turns them on and they like it. And girls are doing it. It's "an art". It's "nothing serious, just for fun", they say. It's happening at parties, and out at various establishments. I have seen it first hand once or twice myself and I couldn't believe my eyes. One time it was at a birthday party. I was having dinner with a friend and a party of young women came in and were all over each other. The other time was at a restaurant with a dance floor. All I could think was, "if their mommas and daddies could see them right now...." It broke my heart.

Now first and foremost, I'm not writing about this to open a can of worms about how low society has gone and how if parents raised their kids better this wouldn't be happening. I'm just telling you it's out there. Be on guard, be aware, and talk to your kids if you have them. We need to know what's going on in our world. We may do our best to keep away from things like this and to protect our children, but we have to be real. It's out there. This and a whole lot more. You can talk to them or someone else can. Or they can learn for themselves. I don't know about you, but I want to be the one to talk to my kids first. And talk openly. Ask me questions and anything goes, we can talk about it. I want to hopefully teach them to also filter their thoughts and questions through God. Look at their friends and people they are around as creations of the Lord to be respected. To gain approval from Him, not the in crowd.

Truly this all comes down to lack of confidence in one's self. Fitting in. Being noticed. Paid attention to. "Sweet beautiful girl" I want to say, "Don't you know you are beautiful just the way you are?" (which happens to be the title of Kellie Pickler's new song...I love it!). "Don't you know that doing all these things won't make you feel better, you'll still go home empty? Don't give into ways of the world no matter how popular it is. Feed your body and mind with something of lasting value. Only Jesus can do that."

Beautiful Blessings to Each of You,


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Freedom to Heal

I've been writing devotions for years now. They've been published online and in the book, God's Purpose for Every Woman. I love to write for pleasure, like in a journal, blog, email, or Facebook. And now, for the first time, I have my writing in a magazine....The P31 Woman. My picture is on the cover and there's a picture of my family inside.

The November issue is out and I chose to write about a tough subject. The title of the ariticle is "Freedom to Heal". It is about my journey from emotional turmoil to peace. I am so excited about this article. First of all, I hope it will in some way help others who struggle with anxiety and depression. I also hope it will help those who struggle with guilt from being on medication. And maybe most importantly, I'm excited about this article because it is my story. I had perfected the mask I wore hiding a very frustrated and insecure woman. Now it's off and I'm ok with who I am. And not afraid to admit that "yes, I have anxiety issues, I have been depressed, and I needed help." If you'd like to read about it, check out the November issue of the P31 Woman. (Proverbs 31, 704-849-2270) Or if you have a comment to share about the article or your own story, I would love to hear from you either here on my blog or by emailing me at

I want to thank 3 people who contributed in a great way to this article. Amy Brooke (who also has an article in this issue), Joy Brown, and Samantha Reed. You all know what you did, but also just your sweet friendship and faith in me was a big boost. Thank you so much.

Above all, I give all thanks and credit to God. He has given purpose to my pain and provided healing to my soul. He gave me the confidence to write about my insecurities and I pray He will use it all for His glory and purpose.I have to admit, I was so nervous about writing this article. It's not easy to admit that you have suffered with emotional or mental issues. But I'm glad I did it.If you get the chance to read it, let me know what you think.



Sunday, October 26, 2008

Beautiful Women and Beautiful Girls

I had the blessing of traveling to Kinston, NC this weekend. I went because God brought me there. I had two events that I was speaking at. I went there with the intent on bringing Good News and hope. God is so good, and I left Kinston feeling like I had received Good News and hope.

For almost a month, I have been dealing with the news that my mom could be dying. I have days when I'm fine. And I know that only God knows the number of our days. My mom could be around for years to come. Some days I just enjoy the blessings and make the most of them. Then other days, I am down. I cry. I can't imagine living without my mom. But then I went to Kinston.

I met so many sweet, beautiful, and amazing women and girls. And as I shared how Jesus is the answer to life's problems, I began to feel it myself. I was filled with thanksgiving.

Thanks that:

My mom has been here for me for ALL of my 41 years of life.

I have never been hungry.

I have never been abandonded.

My husband loves me.

My roof has never leaked.

My parents have never been in jail.

I was able to go to college.

Someone believed in me.

When I needed help, I asked for it and received it.

I found Jesus and learned to trust Him.

I believe that I'm beautiful.
Also, that I got to travel with an amazing woman of God and my friend, Lynn Cowell. We had over 11 hours in a car together and roomed together and she was my partner in ministry this weekend. Thank you God! Having her with me was a great blessing!!!!!!!!

Friday night, I met some great women from Greenville, NC. They were so very friendly and inviting. They were the women of Grace Church. They showed up on a very rainy Friday night. We talked about God, marriage, children, home, finances, friends, and community service. It was such a blessing getting to know them and awesome to share and swap stories.

Saturday, Lynn and I both had the opportunity to meet and minister to almost 70 teenage girls. These girls came from backgrounds that I truly can't relate to. We were speaking at The Gate community center in Kinston, NC. Wow! What an amazing facility devoted to God and transforming the next generation. Selfishly, I was very nervous. This was my first teen event. It was way out of my comfort zone. I chose to trust God though, and I choose to trust that He was in control and seeds were planted in these girl's lives. Lynn was amazing and right at home. I am so grateful to her for giving up her weekend to accompany me on this weekend. My ultimate prayer is that all of those we came in contact with realized that they are truly Beautiful. Beautiful women and Beautiful girls.

I have been absent from the blogging world lately. (see but I've had my reasons. And I'm hopeful to post a little more a little more often :) :) :)

Thanks be to God! You are beautiful. I am beautiful. And God made us all. He has a plan for our lives, He knows the number of our days, and I hope that we will make each one count!

It's late and I need to go.

Beautiful Blessings,


Sunday, October 5, 2008


First, I want to say "THANK YOU" for the prayers, thoughts, and words of love that have been sent my way.

Yes, I received some news last week that I wish I hadn't about my mom, but I know that most of you are no different. We all have tough times and we have to get through them. How we do that is up to us.

We can't depend on outside influences to get us through. We can't depend on our appearance, social upbringing or class, finances, friends, or ever family. All of these can and will let us down. When times get tough, all we can totally depend on is God. And boy am I ever thankful for that!!!!

Over the past few weeks, I've been reading a lot. I picked up a book in our office resource room because I was looking to escape from real life. I picked up Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Wow!!!! What an amazing book! What an amazing story of God's true unconditional and unfailing and forgiving love. I didn't want it to end. And I was so sad when it did. I was left wanting more. I loved it because it had few racy moments :) but it was also filled with values and true relationships and an overall theme that God reigns. He is there. He is in control and can bring good out of any situation.

I hadn't read fiction in 15 years at least. And I admit....I'm kind of sad to say this....but I really thought Christian fiction would be boring. I'm sorry. But I did. Well, I was wrong. It was not boring. After Redeeming Love, I wanted to keep reading. I went back to our resource room and picked up Redemption by Karen Kingsbury. At first I didn't think I liked it as much. But I was wrong again! After about 50 pages, I couldn't put it down. Fortunately, this was the first book in a series of 5 books about the Baxter family. I'm in the middle of the 3rd one now and I have already bought the last 2. I bet I'll be done with them in another week! I read them at stop lights. While dinner is cooking. When I go potty :) On a break. I love reading for pleasure again!!!!

Not only have these books brought me pleasure and given me a healthy escape from my world, but I promise you they have also encouraged me and inspired me to be a better wife, mom, family member, and friend. I promise you. The values in these books are being woven into me. They have actually made me desire good. Desire to please those around me. Desire to be more like Christ. Desire.

Once upon a time, what I desired most was to be beautiful. I wanted others to desire me. I've learned that's not a sign of beauty at all. Now what I desire is to please God. And when others look at me, I hope they don't want to be like me, but they want what I have. And that's a peace and contentment that comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If any part of me is beautiful, that's it. The rest keeps struggling: up and down on the scales....up and down in her and out of depression.....filled with life's disappointments....and continually learning that she needs God more than ever. In fact, this girl has learned that she desires Him.

Beautiful Blessings,


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Life Isn't Easy...

But it is truly a gift. And you never know what each day will bring.

I've spent a lot of time over the past few days in the hospital with my mom. Here's what we know so far:

She has cancer. It's in an advanced stage. The doctors are not sure if it's actually lung cancer but it is cancer in her lungs. Possibly there by spreading through her bloodstream. So, there are further tests to be done. My mom is home now. My sister is flying in from Texas tomorrow. And we wait. Monday Mom has an appointment with her oncologist and we will get more information about what stage the cancer is in and what the plan is for treatment.

What do you do when you are waiting for something as life changing as the prognosis and plan for your mother's life? Well, at the Taylor house, we celebrate. We celebrate each other.

Family time. Watching football. Spending time just loving and laughing. Being grateful. Appreciating the gift of life the Lord has given us. What else can we do?

My mom, Becky, is a beautiful woman. She is strong. She raised my sister and I by herself for the most part. She's always been there for me. I can't imagine my life without her.

Life isn't easy. But we are never promised that it would be. In fact, I think that much of life's difficulties are presented in our lives to make us realize that we need to be dependent on God. I know that my relationship with the Lord has grown many times as a result of trials.

Isaiah 45:3- "I have given you treasures in the darkness, riches stored in secret places. So that you will know that I am the Lord. The God of Israel, who calls you by name."

I claim this verse. Yes, there are treasures in the darkness. Have you had dark times in your life where God has revealed a treasure there for you? Sometimes we need to go through those dark times. Otherwise, we would not realize our need for God. That has definitely been the case for me.

My mom believes. She believes in God and Jesus is her Savior. I am praying for her daily walk to be grounded and to walk in peace and comfort. I pray she would know that God is with her no matter what and that He has an amazing plan for her life. I want her to know what a great difference she's made in the lives of those around her. Especially me!

Thank you friends for being supportive and for being there for me. I love you. You just don't know. I love you. You are so beautiful!