First, I want to say "THANK YOU" for the prayers, thoughts, and words of love that have been sent my way.
Yes, I received some news last week that I wish I hadn't about my mom, but I know that most of you are no different. We all have tough times and we have to get through them. How we do that is up to us.
We can't depend on outside influences to get us through. We can't depend on our appearance, social upbringing or class, finances, friends, or ever family. All of these can and will let us down. When times get tough, all we can totally depend on is God. And boy am I ever thankful for that!!!!
Over the past few weeks, I've been reading a lot. I picked up a book in our office resource room because I was looking to escape from real life. I picked up Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Wow!!!! What an amazing book! What an amazing story of God's true unconditional and unfailing and forgiving love. I didn't want it to end. And I was so sad when it did. I was left wanting more. I loved it because it had few racy moments :) but it was also filled with values and true relationships and an overall theme that God reigns. He is there. He is in control and can bring good out of any situation.
I hadn't read fiction in 15 years at least. And I admit....I'm kind of sad to say this....but I really thought Christian fiction would be boring. I'm sorry. But I did. Well, I was wrong. It was not boring. After Redeeming Love, I wanted to keep reading. I went back to our resource room and picked up Redemption by Karen Kingsbury. At first I didn't think I liked it as much. But I was wrong again! After about 50 pages, I couldn't put it down. Fortunately, this was the first book in a series of 5 books about the Baxter family. I'm in the middle of the 3rd one now and I have already bought the last 2. I bet I'll be done with them in another week! I read them at stop lights. While dinner is cooking. When I go potty :) On a break. I love reading for pleasure again!!!!
Not only have these books brought me pleasure and given me a healthy escape from my world, but I promise you they have also encouraged me and inspired me to be a better wife, mom, family member, and friend. I promise you. The values in these books are being woven into me. They have actually made me desire good. Desire to please those around me. Desire to be more like Christ. Desire.
Once upon a time, what I desired most was to be beautiful. I wanted others to desire me. I've learned that's not a sign of beauty at all. Now what I desire is to please God. And when others look at me, I hope they don't want to be like me, but they want what I have. And that's a peace and contentment that comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If any part of me is beautiful, that's it. The rest keeps struggling: up and down on the scales....up and down in her moods.....in and out of depression.....filled with life's disappointments....and continually learning that she needs God more than ever. In fact, this girl has learned that she desires Him.