Wednesday, July 29, 2009

P31's Annual She Speaks Conference

She Speaks begins for me TODAY!!!! And it couldn't come at a better time! The week of this conference fuels me. Even though I usually leave the conference exhausted physically and mentally and emotionally, I am filled to overflowing spiritually.

Our Speaker Team meets today. Many of us haven't seen each other in over a year. We have training, team time, and business during the day for the next 2 days before the conference actually begins, but our nights are relatively free with plenty of built in time for fun and bonding. Usually way too many laughs and late nights!

The Conference will begin Friday morning. I begin Friday as a P31 Staff member working the crazy registration area. I end Friday and work the remainder to of the conference as a Speaker Team Member. The session I'm teaching is Saturday afternoon and I'm evaluating a beginners speaking group. Truly I say, the evaluation group is my favorite part. I love being a part of encouraging these women to go after their dreams. It is a joy and delight for me.

This conference is going to be fabulous. Many great sessions, speakers, writers, publishers, and we even have Cheri Keaggy doing our music this year and Jennifer Rothschild speaking Saturday night. Wow!

To keep you updated, I'll try to blog, but I'll definitely be "tweetin'" from the conference all week long. The tweets (from Twitter) appear in the left hand column of this blog. You can also join in on the Twitter, by signing up at . Many of our speakers and even Proverbs 31 have started twittering during the day to keep up with each other. It's seems silly, but it's fun.

I have said a prayer for anyone who reads this today. May your days be blessed and may you experience the joy of the Lord greatly in your life!

Love and big hugs,


***Sharon Sloan if you read this, I will miss your OTC hug this year ;)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hot and Cold

Black and white. In and out. Up and down. Hard and soft. Fun and boring. Bright and dark. Love and hate. Smile and frown. Real and fake. Wet and dry.

Ok, you get it right? Opposites.

Well, today, I had an opposite moment. Do you have any idea what I mean by an opposite moment?

I spent the night in the hospital with my Mom last night. For her it was night #36 . For me it was night #15. I can't believe it's been so long. When I'm there, it's like I'm in a different world. It seems like everything is critical and serious. The rest of the world comes to a stop. I don't think about how the world keeps rockin and rollin...people carrying on, walking down the street, playing at the park, going for a jog, as if they don't have a care in the world.

I woke up today feeling very tired! One of the machines in Mom's room kept alarming during the night. Doctors began rounding at 5:30 am. Finally I got up, got dressed, stepped down the hall to get some coffee, and returned to Mom's room for a little QT with the Lord. Isaiah 6:1-6 was the passage I studied this morning. Wow how this Scripture rings true in my life.

Verse 5-"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

Verse 6-7-Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt it taken away and your sin atoned for."

Verse 8-The I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

This passage of Scripture takes my breath away. How often have I been unclean and needed cleansing from the Lord? And He does it everytime. And then and only then I am able to answer His calling when He asks, "Whom shall I send?" I can assuredly answer, "Send me."

As I finished my QT today, I thought about hospital life and the real world. I don't like the duldrom operations of hospital life. There is no sunshine in there. Well, at least not when you've had multiple surgeries like my Mom has. It's easy to get resentful of others living happy healthy lives when you are faced with such a tragedy. I reflected on the past 5 weeks and I bowed my head and thanked God Almighty for asking me, "Who will go sit with Becky, care for her, love her, endure her pain with her, stay with her at night so she is not alone, and sacrifice their easy living at home?" "Here am I. Send me!"

As I walked out of the hospital today, the opposite moment happened. Literally I walked out of the serious critical 5th floor and out the front door. I had to cover my eyes because it was so bright. There was a beautiful water fountain, playfully splashing at happy tune. Beyond the fountain was the Carolina blue sky, amazing sunshine, and the hustle and bustle of city life. Yes, life was carrying on outside the hospital. I left one extreme and entered another. And I am happy and willing to do both. Thankful for both. Two totally different worlds. That was my opposite moment.

So, how are you doing? Are you experiencing extremes in your world? Are you ready to answer God's call when He asks you? Do you feel worthy to answer God's call?

Think about that. Later this week we'll chat more.

Have a beautiful day!


Monday, July 20, 2009

It's Been a Terrific Day!

Oh if I could duplicate the past 2 days, I would! I was rejuvenated one day and ultra productive the next. Ya think those 2 things might go hand in hand (rejuvenated followed by productivity)? I could actually blog about that, but I'm not. Although I know there is something to it;)

Yesterday morning I got home from the hospital around 10:00 am. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know, my Mom has been in the hospital for over a month. I've been spending every other night there with her.) My husband greeted me with a piping hot cup of heaven. We sat outside and just enjoyed a little time we were able to steal before anyone else knew I was home.

I had not been to church in over a month. Until yesterday I didn't realize how much I missed worshipping with the people of Elevation Church. ( I've been in the hospital every weekend. Yesterday we went to the 11:30 am service. I almost had tears in my eyes as I was singing of my wonderful Savior with my family. I missed that so much. It was like I felt normal again. I've been so out of whack and had a whacked out schedule for 5 weeks, I felt like I had come home.

After church, our family went to the grocery store to do our shopping for the week. I know this doesn't sound like much fun, but I've missed going to the store to shop for my family. Jeff has been keeping up with it for me. It felt good to put milk and eggs in the buggy :) It felt normal. Normal is good.

Upon returning home, I decided that I would throw some laundry in the washing machine...and yes, even this felt good. Now that is quite out of character for me, because I complain about laundry more than anything else. But I've missed being able to do for my family. Doing the laundry was actually a joy! I can't believe I'm writing that!!!!! Plus, while it was washing, I sat out by the pool with my kids, Jeff, and my friend Donna!

Not to bore you with too many details, but the rest of the day/evening I journaled, set some new goals, took a shower, and snuggled by my hubby while we watched a Walt Disney Land documentary with the kids, layed out my workout clothes for the morning, set the coffee, and made sure my supplies and books were in my quiet time area. I was in bed by 9:45 pm. And I slept.

That was just my rejuvenation day. My productive day happened today.

I'll spare you the details, but give you the rundown:

-Up at 4:45, coffee, and quiet time
-Met Donna at 5:45, walked 3 miles
-Had coffee with Jeff out on the patio at 6:45.
-Made my breakfast and lunch.
-Got ready for work. In the office by 8:00 am.
-Worked 6 hr and 45 min in the P31 office.
-Home by 3:00. Folded all the laundry I washed yesterday.
-Watched "Monk" with the kids. (It's our favorite show.)
-Packed a hospital bag.
-Packed supper. And tomorrow's breakfast and lunch.
-Left for hospital at 5:00.
-Helped Mom.
-Here I am now. In my jammies. And feeling quite relaxed and content.

It's been such a long time since I've had days like this. Where I felt like I had a little bit of control. And I am thankful.

Relaxed. Content. Thankful. = Beautiful.

Have a blessed day!



Saturday, July 11, 2009

Off and On

As some of you know, my Mom has been sick. Too much to get into now, but my schedule has been out of whack to say the least. And as a result, so has my healthy living.


Why is it that when my schedule gets off, I revert back to destructable ways? Not good! But I'm on top of it!

Confession time. For supper tonight I ate onion rings and skittles. And about 2 hours later I felt like pee pee kaa kaa. In other words, yuk! Stuffed, tired, and lethargic. This whole week, I've been making poor choices. Peanutbutter crackers for lunch. Milkshake for supper. No planning at all. No variety. Even though it is a challenge to eat healthy during a crisis, it is not hopeless.

So tonight, I confessed to Jeff and Donna. They seem to hold me accountable the most. Recently I have felt so much better because I cut sugar and carbs out of my diet. I've been eating protein, veggies, and a few fruits....I lost 15 pounds and felt great. I am renewing my commitment today. I'm back on.

Do you ever go on and off of a plan? Do you quit once you get "off" the plan? I used to be that way. Once falling "off" the plan, I'd just quit. And stay "off". But no more. I may fall "off". But the beauty of falling "off", is that you can get right back "on". I'm "on".

Ladies, let us not quit when we fail or fall off of our plans. Have the courage to get right back on. Just like Miss Scarlet says in Gone With The Wind, "Tomorrow is another day." Yes it is.

I'm "on". How about you?



Wednesday, July 8, 2009

She's So Beautiful

I wanted to post about my Mom. She is so beautiful. Even in her not so beautiful state, she is amazing. And I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever known. I posted about her today on my other blog. Read here and let me know what you think.

I Am Humbled and Honored
I wasn't expecting to blog about this tonight. I was hoping to blog about Philippians 4:6-7. I've turned over my worries to prayers and truly God has replaced my fears with peace. I can't explain it, but I have the peace which surpasses all understanding. And I wanted to share that with my readers tonight. Even though, I still have peace, my evening went much different than I expected.

I am here at the hospital with my Mom tonight. It's my turn to spend the night with her. Me and my sister are staying every other night. My Mom's journey has not gone how I would have wanted it to go, but we have found bright spots along the way. My Mom has had 5 surgeries in the past 3 weeks. There have been set backs. But I've managed to remain calm. I trust God. I put the situation in His Hands.

Tonight I was challenged. My Mom was sore and chaffed. I washed her full body. As I washed, she cried. She said, "No daughter should ever have to do this." However, I was honored to wash my mother. As I wiped the warm cloth over her body, I felt the love of Jesus saying, "I made this woman and I want her to feel clean. Thank you for washing her." It was my pleasure to wash her.

A little while later, an odor took over the room. Mom's colostomy bag had burst. Her linens and gown were soiled. She was embarrassed. I called for the nurse. 2 nurses came. They tended to Mom with care and allowed her to keep her dignity. I was so appreciative of that. They cleaned her up, changed her gown and sheets, and told her that everything was ok. They took their time in changing her bag, cleaning her up, and making her feel human and normal.

Yes, I have a peace that surpasses understanding, but I have to be honest. I hate what my Mom is going through. I hate it. I have never gone through anything like this in my life. I don't like that staying in the hospital almost feels normal. I don't like that I miss my family and our suburban lifestyle. I don't like that my Mom doesn't know what tomorrow will bring.

But God.

But God.

But God picked me.
He picked me to have the honor to wash my Mom.
He picked me to be humbled enough to clean her up.
He picked me to have the calm and strength to be there for her.
He picked me to have the priviledge to give back a little of what she's given to me over the years. And I am honored and humbled.

God is enough. I couldn't do what I'm doing, feel how I'm feeling, or get through what I am going through without Him. I have peace. And that is only from God.

Many Blessings and Much Love,


****Mom has another surgery on Thursday, July 9th. Thank you for your prayers.

Friday, July 3, 2009

I hope I'm Still With it when I'm her age...

I am at the beach this week with my husband's family. We do this trip every year. It's Jeff, me, our 4 kids, Jeff's parents, his Aunt Dorothy (75), his grandmother-Big Granny (86), and his other grandmother-Little Granny (91).

We've celebrated 3 birthdays this week. 2 of my kids, and Big Granny. Hayden turned 14. Dylan turned 12. Big Granny turned 86. We seem to be at the beach each year for their birthdays.

I have been very observant of the ladies on this trip. We have had so much fun. And I've learned that the things that make being a girl fun when you are young are still the things that make being a girl fun when you are older.

On our first night here, Jeff's mom, Pat, gave all of us bracelets with beads of our birthstones. It just felt fun and girlie to all be getting something special. No boys included. The next day, Big Granny gave all the girls "chocolate" shirts. She found shirts at the Cracker Barrel with a quote about chocolate, so she bought one for each of us. For instance, mine said, "Forget love, I fall in chocolate." Then the next night we all painted our toe nails green. Yes, that's right, I said green! Of course we have pictures to document all of this. The following day, the ladies went shopping, with their green toe nails of course. Boy did we make a statement! How beautiful is that? The youngest of the girls is 7. The oldest is 91.

Tonight we had family game night. The first game was for the kids, involving putting your face in whipped cream to find m&m's and marshmallows. The next game was relay race where we had to put on different items of clothing (my team won :). The last game was a 3 legged race. We all played, from the youngest to the oldest. When it was my turn, I was paired with Aunt Dorothy, who is 75. I must say, she's the youngest 75 year old I know. We wiped out! Yes we did. Fell flat on our faces! She did much better than me! My knee still hurts! But oh it was so fun. When it was Little Granny's turn to do the 3 legged race with Blake, my 15 yr old son, she had extra help from her own son, who is 68. It was precious and priceless.

We often gage beauty on what we 'see' with our own eyes. But I believe beauty is more something that can be experienced. I look at my husband's grandmothers and I see beautiful. Yes, they are wrinkled. Yes, they are slower than the rest of us. But oh, they are amazingly beautiful. When I come on this beach trip each year, I try to take in all I can. I want to pass it all on. The stories. The fun. The laughter. The faith. The traditions. The ladies rock.

This year I'm the 2nd youngest lady on the beach trip. At 42, I'm feeling young. But even as time goes on, even when I'm not one of the youngest, I hope I'm still lovin life and enjoying the fun. Yes, "I hope I"m Still With it when I'm her age......"

Beautiful Blessings,