Thursday, February 19, 2009


Yep, that's how I'm feeling today. I may not look it. And no one may agree. But I feel it. And that makes me happy because it's been a long time since I really felt this good.

I haven't lost a bunch of weight. I probably don't look much different. But, I feel so good, so healthy, so happy. My mom still has cancer. My life is still chaotic. I still have loads of laundry to fold. We still are financially hurting. But, I feel better than I've felt in a quite a while.

For the last month, I've decided to not worry so much about what I weigh. Yes, I'd like to lose 30, but I asked myself, "what if that never happens?" And so I decided to just bless myself. With good health, quality time with those I love, and exercise that I enjoy.

I feel good. Better than I've felt in a really long time. Oddly enough, I am exercising almost every day...4-6 miles a day, 6 days a week. I'm eating 5 small snacks/meals a day and then a small supper. 1 multi-vitamin, my lexapro, and 8 cups of water. And a few diet colas. (I say diet cola because the "cola" is cheaper that "coke". And it tastes just as good.) The caffeine free diet cola is my treat every night.

My relationships are also in order. (for the moment) I've been working super hard on my marriage. One way I've done this is by taking "the Love Dare". It's changed me. That's all I'll say for now. I'll be writing more about "The Love Dare" later.

Do you feel beautiful? You know feelings are fickle. For so long I did not feel beautiful. And I believed my feelings. Feelings are not who you are. I know that now.

God made you. He has great plans for you. He doesn't want us to waste our time on "feelings". We are blessed. In the words of my grandpa....."hunney, you are beee yooo tifff fullll!"

Blessings Beautiful Friends,


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Going Down...but not fast enough

Who gains 30+ pounds in a year???

Why would someone gain 30 pounds in a year?

Must have significant problems, right? Must be so undisciplined for sure. Must be a pig.

Well, I gained 30 pounds in a year. And although I can't believe it happened, I know I'm none of the above.....well, a little undisciplined maybe.

It's the one thing I've continued to struggle with my whole life. My weight. I know the right answers. I don't think I can learn anything new about exercise or nutrition. However it remains a struggle. I say this jokingly, but it's true in many ways....I'm either fit or fat, and still looking for the happy medium.

Once again, I'm going down. It's not happening as fast as I'd like it to, but I'm going down. I even have a high school reunion in 2 months. Yikes!

The greatest thing about being me is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am beautiful. Whether I weigh 135 (which I wish!) or 165 (which I am), I am beautiful. God made me. God loves me. I am worthy. I am whole. I am a beautiful child of the almighty king. I am loved. I am wonderfully made. I am also very human. I am flawed. I require forgiveness daily. I get many things wrong. I get a lot right too. I have failed. I have succeeded. I don't give up without a fight. I am able.

I am able to keep fighting, keep strong...because I don't quit. Sure I wish I'd lose weight faster....who doesn't? But I am not defined by a number on the scale or the size of my pants. I may wish they were smaller, but it's a minor issue.

Love who you are. You are beautiful. No matter what your shape, size, or weight.

Don't you just love to say this....."I am beautiful!" So say it.

Be Blessed,


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Change of Heart

Hey Beautiful Girls! How are ya? I can't believe it's the first post in 2009! I honestly thought I was retiring this blog. But I just couldn't do it.

I've been struggling with the whole weight, appearance, beauty thing for my whole life. I know what's true and then my fickle feelings step in. This blog honestly was helping me more than I think it could ever help anyone else. Since I haven't written in so long, I've realized how much I've missed it. I know I'm beautiful, but I need reminded of it too. I'm beautiful not because of what I weigh or how I look, but because I am filled with the love of Christ. I am a child of God. That makes me beautiful. God made me. He made you. We are beautiful.

Here we are, February 4, 2009. It snowed in Charlotte today. Not a lot, but enough to catch us off guard and the kids to stay home from school. I continue to strive for good health. And it's paying off. I feel good. I have more energy. I have a positive attitude. I am beautiful :)

I look forward to writing again. I haven't been writing at all. I was just kind of blank for a while.

It's time for bed now. The basketball game I was watching is over. The team I was pulling for lost.

Good Night and Sweet Dreams.