Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hot and Cold

Black and white. In and out. Up and down. Hard and soft. Fun and boring. Bright and dark. Love and hate. Smile and frown. Real and fake. Wet and dry.

Ok, you get it right? Opposites.

Well, today, I had an opposite moment. Do you have any idea what I mean by an opposite moment?

I spent the night in the hospital with my Mom last night. For her it was night #36 . For me it was night #15. I can't believe it's been so long. When I'm there, it's like I'm in a different world. It seems like everything is critical and serious. The rest of the world comes to a stop. I don't think about how the world keeps rockin and rollin...people carrying on, walking down the street, playing at the park, going for a jog, as if they don't have a care in the world.

I woke up today feeling very tired! One of the machines in Mom's room kept alarming during the night. Doctors began rounding at 5:30 am. Finally I got up, got dressed, stepped down the hall to get some coffee, and returned to Mom's room for a little QT with the Lord. Isaiah 6:1-6 was the passage I studied this morning. Wow how this Scripture rings true in my life.

Verse 5-"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

Verse 6-7-Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt it taken away and your sin atoned for."

Verse 8-The I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

This passage of Scripture takes my breath away. How often have I been unclean and needed cleansing from the Lord? And He does it everytime. And then and only then I am able to answer His calling when He asks, "Whom shall I send?" I can assuredly answer, "Send me."

As I finished my QT today, I thought about hospital life and the real world. I don't like the duldrom operations of hospital life. There is no sunshine in there. Well, at least not when you've had multiple surgeries like my Mom has. It's easy to get resentful of others living happy healthy lives when you are faced with such a tragedy. I reflected on the past 5 weeks and I bowed my head and thanked God Almighty for asking me, "Who will go sit with Becky, care for her, love her, endure her pain with her, stay with her at night so she is not alone, and sacrifice their easy living at home?" "Here am I. Send me!"

As I walked out of the hospital today, the opposite moment happened. Literally I walked out of the serious critical 5th floor and out the front door. I had to cover my eyes because it was so bright. There was a beautiful water fountain, playfully splashing at happy tune. Beyond the fountain was the Carolina blue sky, amazing sunshine, and the hustle and bustle of city life. Yes, life was carrying on outside the hospital. I left one extreme and entered another. And I am happy and willing to do both. Thankful for both. Two totally different worlds. That was my opposite moment.

So, how are you doing? Are you experiencing extremes in your world? Are you ready to answer God's call when He asks you? Do you feel worthy to answer God's call?

Think about that. Later this week we'll chat more.

Have a beautiful day!



Joyful said...

Hey sweet friend! Thanks for sharing that passage from Isaiah. It convicted me. Can't say that I'm responding with the same enthusiasm..."Here am I. Send me!" I think more often I'm saying, "I've been there...done that...it's someone elses turn!"

Thanks for helping me look at the question in new light. God is saying to me: "Who will go sit with your Dad, care for him, love him, be patient with his loss of memory, visit daily so that he is not alone, and sacrifice their easy living at home?" Want to be able to say without resentment, "Here am I. Send me!"

Thanks Melissa! Sending hugs, love and prayers,

Chef Diane said...

"Who will go"? powerful words.

The realization that life goes on even when you have a crisis is almost a light bulb moment.

Need to chew on these things. Thanks for sharing them.

Praying for you with all you have on you. As you are preparing for She Speaks as well.
Love ya and see you soon,

Chelle Nicole Velez said...

Again, Thanks for your words!

mindywalker92 said...

I can relate to your entry in regards to the hospital and yet there is still another world going on outside. I, too, have had numerous surgies and battle a chronic illness. How wonderful to know that your mother has you by her side,supporting and caring for her. Fortunately, I have a good support system as well and God continues to show my family and I new blessings in the simple things in life. This life isn't forever, thank goodness. We have something far better to look forward,too! Heaven!!! I,pray, sweet blessings upon you and your family! Keep the faith!!