Well I did it. But I have to tell you, as I was uploading the photos of me....no make up, slightly overweight, and just feeling especially frumpy and chunky...I heard the lies screaming in my head. (Photos posted on the right side of this page) "People will say, 'OMGsh, look at how much weight Melissa has gained! She just lost it all last year, what happened to her?' 'Melissa, you really do look thick, just look at Shamu and Namu...no not the whales, your thighs.' 'And there's that beautiful chin zit..do you really think anyone will want you to speak at their event with Mt. Zitsky ever present?' 'Even the make up doesn't cover the face fat. You look like a moon pie with a smile.' 'What a loser. You just can't seem to gain control over this area of your life. And you are ugly.'" I could go on and on, but you get it. I am very self conscience about posting these photos. But I truly believe we have to get serious and be honest with our struggles. I know the thoughts above are not true. I know in my heart that I am beautiful and the scales and my outward appearance don't determine beauty. I know it. I believe it. I am becoming intentional on my thoughts reflecting it. So, I say, "Get out of my head you pirate! You are not going to steal my treasure today!"
This is a journey. A journey takes time. It can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding.
I'll close with one of my favorite verses from the Bible. 1 Samuel 16:7b- "....Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at heart."
Bless Your Heart,
Melissa
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Stay Tuned....
Do you see the photograph of me at the top of this page? It was professionally taken by Ralph Melvin, who did a fabulous job. I was so happy with it, I used it on my bio sheet, my website, my blogs, promotional materials, my FaceBook page, and well...you get the picture. Now, I'm not saying that I am some physically beautiful person...but for me, this is a way good picture.
I had this picture taken last March when I weighed 135 pounds. You can't see, but I had a few zits on my face, my makeup was blotchy, and I did not have on mascara. You'd never know that from looking at this picture though. Do you know why? Of course you do. I was photo-shopped....you know touched up or whatever they do to make their clients look good. And I have to be honest, I was so happy they did this to me. You see, I saw the picture untouched and I didn't like it, but when they got through with it, I loved it. Although I believe it's what's on the inside that counts, I confess, I want to look good. I want to be pretty. There's not really anything wrong with those feelings, but there is definitely a fine line.
Today, I weigh 150 pounds!!! I won't get into it right now...the life long struggle with my weight and self-image, but I can tell you that on this 5'4'' frame, it's not my ideal weight and I've been so bad to my body over the past few months. I haven't been exercising regularly and I haven't been committed to healthy eating. That not only affects my looks, but it also affects my health. I believe a big part of "feeling pretty" is "feeling good". It goes hand in hand.
Anyway, I want be up front from the get go. I'll still use my professional picture because it really is me, but later today, I'll be posting some current pictures. No make up. No touch ups. Just me.
Stay Tuned.....
I Am Beautiful,
Melissa
I had this picture taken last March when I weighed 135 pounds. You can't see, but I had a few zits on my face, my makeup was blotchy, and I did not have on mascara. You'd never know that from looking at this picture though. Do you know why? Of course you do. I was photo-shopped....you know touched up or whatever they do to make their clients look good. And I have to be honest, I was so happy they did this to me. You see, I saw the picture untouched and I didn't like it, but when they got through with it, I loved it. Although I believe it's what's on the inside that counts, I confess, I want to look good. I want to be pretty. There's not really anything wrong with those feelings, but there is definitely a fine line.
Today, I weigh 150 pounds!!! I won't get into it right now...the life long struggle with my weight and self-image, but I can tell you that on this 5'4'' frame, it's not my ideal weight and I've been so bad to my body over the past few months. I haven't been exercising regularly and I haven't been committed to healthy eating. That not only affects my looks, but it also affects my health. I believe a big part of "feeling pretty" is "feeling good". It goes hand in hand.
Anyway, I want be up front from the get go. I'll still use my professional picture because it really is me, but later today, I'll be posting some current pictures. No make up. No touch ups. Just me.
Stay Tuned.....
I Am Beautiful,
Melissa
Monday, January 28, 2008
Repeat After Me....
"I Am Beautiful!" That's right, you are. And so am I. And that's why I created this blog. I am done with the negative self talk and thoughts that I say about myself. It's certainly not what my Creator thinks about me. So often we base what we think about ourselves on the number on the scales or the size of our clothes. Or we listen to what others say. Or we compare ourselves to how the "world" defines beautiful.
One day my daughter came home from preschool with a picture. To me it looked like an ugly baked potato. I asked her to tell me about her creation. Hayley Grace proudly said, "Mommy, it's you. Isn't it blutiful?" (beautiful) Of course I said that yes it was very beautiful, but really I was thinking, "I really do look like an ugly baked potato."
You see, from my perspective it was an ugly picture of me that looked like a BP. But to the creator of the picture, it was "blutiful". It made me think. I often think I'm ugly or I feel bad about myself because I'm 20 pounds overweight or my outfit doesn't look right or I'm just having a bad hair day. But to my Creator, those are lies. I am not ugly in any way. God made me just the way He wanted and to Him I am beautiful.
Do you struggle with your self image? Do you compare yourself to others only to come up short? Are you struggling with your weight or self control in an area that affects your thoughts? Well, you are not alone.
I want this to be a place where we can share ideas to be healthy....mind, body, and Spirit! I want to offer you encouragement and I need encouragement too! We are beautiful in the eyes of the Lord so let's start living like we believe it too. Join me in the coming weeks to get ideas on feeling good, looking good, and changing the attitude of our minds. We are worth it!
Blessings Beautiful Ladies,
Melissa
One day my daughter came home from preschool with a picture. To me it looked like an ugly baked potato. I asked her to tell me about her creation. Hayley Grace proudly said, "Mommy, it's you. Isn't it blutiful?" (beautiful) Of course I said that yes it was very beautiful, but really I was thinking, "I really do look like an ugly baked potato."
You see, from my perspective it was an ugly picture of me that looked like a BP. But to the creator of the picture, it was "blutiful". It made me think. I often think I'm ugly or I feel bad about myself because I'm 20 pounds overweight or my outfit doesn't look right or I'm just having a bad hair day. But to my Creator, those are lies. I am not ugly in any way. God made me just the way He wanted and to Him I am beautiful.
Do you struggle with your self image? Do you compare yourself to others only to come up short? Are you struggling with your weight or self control in an area that affects your thoughts? Well, you are not alone.
I want this to be a place where we can share ideas to be healthy....mind, body, and Spirit! I want to offer you encouragement and I need encouragement too! We are beautiful in the eyes of the Lord so let's start living like we believe it too. Join me in the coming weeks to get ideas on feeling good, looking good, and changing the attitude of our minds. We are worth it!
Blessings Beautiful Ladies,
Melissa
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