Tuesday, July 1, 2008

****I actually wrote this blogpost on Friday, June 27th. As I write, I am getting ready to head out of town for a much needed vacation with my family. I have a devotion running on Tuesday, July 1st and I wanted to welcome any Proverbs 31 Devotion readers to my blog who are visiting because of that devotion. Of course, I love my regulars too. Welcome to "I Am Beautiful".

***If you haven't read the devotion, you can click http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/power-of-words.html to read it.

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This blog is called "I Am Beautiful" because it's the very thing I struggle with...feeling good about myself. On my own, I don't feel beautiful. I'm overweight. I say things I regret. I do things I regret. I don't have much style, really I don't. I'm freckled due to sun damage. My face breaks out like a teenager, yet I'm 40...I mean 41. I have 2 toes stuck together on each foot. And I'm very clumsy. But according to the Lord all of that doesn't matter. He loves me anyway. And He loves me no matter what. He says I'm "wonderfully made". He says I'm made in the "image of God". How is that not beautiful? When I describe myself, it's not so pretty. But when God talks, I'm "precious and honored in his sight"!

If you read "Encouragement for Today", http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/, on July 1, 2008, you read the story of Dylan's struggle in this area also. I actually blogged about this on my other blog, http://www.melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/ back in February. When Dylan came home from school upset over the words spoken to him, it broke my heart. I mean it really broke my heart. I could so easily relate.

Dylan is a great golfer, as pictured here...just look at that swing!

I remember so clearly being 7 years old and playing barefooted on the playground. Some kids I didn't even know came up and started playing too. One of them noticed something different about my feet. You see, my 2nd and 3rd toe on each foot are stuck together. He pointed that out loud and clear. He called the others over to look too. I felt like a freak on display. "Ewww, look at her toes, how weird!" "Why are they like that?" "How does it feel?" These are words that sent me into hiding...hiding my feet for the next 10 years.

Here they are...my stuck together toes, as pictured earlier this year after having bunion surgery. On my other foot, the toes are actually stuck together all the way up.

For 10 years, I would not go barefooted or wear sandals. Those words, which I don't think were really meant to hurt me, did hurt. Someone pointed out that I was different. And I just wanted to fit in.

Finally in high school, I kind of got over this. My boyfriend, who is now my husband, told me how beautiful my feet were. Funny thing is, we dated 9 months before I would go without shoes in front of him. Then when he saw my feet, he said they were beautiful. That changed everything.

Words have power. Just read James chapter 3. Words can tear a person down or they can build a person up. I think often we are so quick to speak we fail to remember how powerful our words can be.

I'm happy to report that Dylan is doing fine today. He looks at his scar in the mirror daily. If someone asks about it, he usually says something crazy like, "yea, if you think this is bad you should see my dad!" Or "yea, I just have a scar now, but you should have seen me when I had a hand sticking out of the top of my head." Or, "Oh my, the shark attack was terrible, but I'm doing much better now!" I hear him joking, but I know his heart wishes the scar was gone.

Don't we all have a scar that we wish was gone? Maybe it's a physical flaw like my stuck together toes or Dylan's scar on his head. Or maybe it's the scar from a past regret. Or maybe it's a scar from being violated. Your scar may be from a fear or insecurity that you have. Or maybe your scar is that you just want to feel loved...no matter what. Whatever the scar, I've learned that our scars are indeed beautiful to God.

I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite verses. It's Isaiah 45:3. "I will give you treasures in darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." There are treasures in our scars. So often it is our scars that draw us closer to God and actually help us to realize that we need Him in our lives.

I'd love your comments on the devotion, words of encouragement to Dylan, or sharing of your stories of your personal scars.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I pray you realize how beautiful you are. No matter what you've done, where you are, where you've been, or how you look or feel. You, my friend, are beautiful. And so am I:)

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Tomorrow, July 2nd is Dylan's 11th birthday. Happy Birthday my sweet beautiful Dylan! You are an amazing boy and I love you so much. I also love the way God is using your life to reach others. Thank you for giving me permission to share your story. You rock Big Dyl! Love you, Mom

In the first picture: Here is my sweet joyful boy! This picture describes Dylan perfectly. He is sensitive, sweet, smiling, and always wanting to have fun! And the 2nd: Dylan and I pictured here a few years ago after his team won the soccer championship. He asked me to mention here that he no longer has a bowl cut and never will again:)