I Am Beautiful!

Time for a Change

2009-11-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

This will be my last post here. Why you ask? Because I have a beautiful new blog!!! If you've been visiting either of my blogs, www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com or BeautifulP31.blogspot.com, I thank you for your comments, sharing of stories, encouragement, prayers, and friendship. I hope you'll continue to follow me at my new blog with a NEW ADDRESS. I'll be writing a lot more, hosting contests, give aways, encouraging you, and sharing other valuable information regularly. And every now and then I might just dish about one of my Proverbs 31 sisters!

MY NEW WEBSITE/BLOG ADDRESS IS:

www.MelissaTaylor.org

www.MelissaTaylor.org

Think you got it? Well what are you waiting for? Go visit my beautiful new blog NOW!!!

Big Hugs,

Melissa

For Now....

2009-08-05T20:22:00.003-04:00

In the process of making some changes to improve my website, blog, and service to you.

Please visit www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com for updates. Great new and helpful information is coming soon, I promise! Thanks for hangin' in there with me.

The new and improved blog/website will be worth the wait.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

P31's Annual She Speaks Conference

2009-07-29T07:50:00.001-04:00

She Speaks begins for me TODAY!!!! And it couldn't come at a better time! The week of this conference fuels me. Even though I usually leave the conference exhausted physically and mentally and emotionally, I am filled to overflowing spiritually.

Our Speaker Team meets today. Many of us haven't seen each other in over a year. We have training, team time, and business during the day for the next 2 days before the conference actually begins, but our nights are relatively free with plenty of built in time for fun and bonding. Usually way too many laughs and late nights!

The Conference will begin Friday morning. I begin Friday as a P31 Staff member working the crazy registration area. I end Friday and work the remainder to of the conference as a Speaker Team Member. The session I'm teaching is Saturday afternoon and I'm evaluating a beginners speaking group. Truly I say, the evaluation group is my favorite part. I love being a part of encouraging these women to go after their dreams. It is a joy and delight for me.

This conference is going to be fabulous. Many great sessions, speakers, writers, publishers, and we even have Cheri Keaggy doing our music this year and Jennifer Rothschild speaking Saturday night. Wow!

To keep you updated, I'll try to blog, but I'll definitely be "tweetin'" from the conference all week long. The tweets (from Twitter) appear in the left hand column of this blog. You can also join in on the Twitter, by signing up at www.Twitter.com . Many of our speakers and even Proverbs 31 have started twittering during the day to keep up with each other. It's seems silly, but it's fun.

I have said a prayer for anyone who reads this today. May your days be blessed and may you experience the joy of the Lord greatly in your life!

Love and big hugs,

Melissa

***Sharon Sloan if you read this, I will miss your OTC hug this year ;)

Hot and Cold

2009-07-21T11:33:00.002-04:00

Black and white. In and out. Up and down. Hard and soft. Fun and boring. Bright and dark. Love and hate. Smile and frown. Real and fake. Wet and dry.

Ok, you get it right? Opposites.

Well, today, I had an opposite moment. Do you have any idea what I mean by an opposite moment?

I spent the night in the hospital with my Mom last night. For her it was night #36 . For me it was night #15. I can't believe it's been so long. When I'm there, it's like I'm in a different world. It seems like everything is critical and serious. The rest of the world comes to a stop. I don't think about how the world keeps rockin and rollin...people carrying on, walking down the street, playing at the park, going for a jog, as if they don't have a care in the world.

I woke up today feeling very tired! One of the machines in Mom's room kept alarming during the night. Doctors began rounding at 5:30 am. Finally I got up, got dressed, stepped down the hall to get some coffee, and returned to Mom's room for a little QT with the Lord. Isaiah 6:1-6 was the passage I studied this morning. Wow how this Scripture rings true in my life.

Verse 5-"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

Verse 6-7-Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt it taken away and your sin atoned for."

Verse 8-The I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

This passage of Scripture takes my breath away. How often have I been unclean and needed cleansing from the Lord? And He does it everytime. And then and only then I am able to answer His calling when He asks, "Whom shall I send?" I can assuredly answer, "Send me."

As I finished my QT today, I thought about hospital life and the real world. I don't like the duldrom operations of hospital life. There is no sunshine in there. Well, at least not when you've had multiple surgeries like my Mom has. It's easy to get resentful of others living happy healthy lives when you are faced with such a tragedy. I reflected on the past 5 weeks and I bowed my head and thanked God Almighty for asking me, "Who will go sit with Becky, care for her, love her, endure her pain with her, stay with her at night so she is not alone, and sacrifice their easy living at home?" "Here am I. Send me!"

As I walked out of the hospital today, the opposite moment happened. Literally I walked out of the serious critical 5th floor and out the front door. I had to cover my eyes because it was so bright. There was a beautiful water fountain, playfully splashing at happy tune. Beyond the fountain was the Carolina blue sky, amazing sunshine, and the hustle and bustle of city life. Yes, life was carrying on outside the hospital. I left one extreme and entered another. And I am happy and willing to do both. Thankful for both. Two totally different worlds. That was my opposite moment.

So, how are you doing? Are you experiencing extremes in your world? Are you ready to answer God's call when He asks you? Do you feel worthy to answer God's call?

Think about that. Later this week we'll chat more.

Have a beautiful day!
Love,

Melissa

It's Been a Terrific Day!

2009-07-20T21:45:00.002-04:00

Oh if I could duplicate the past 2 days, I would! I was rejuvenated one day and ultra productive the next. Ya think those 2 things might go hand in hand (rejuvenated followed by productivity)? I could actually blog about that, but I'm not. Although I know there is something to it;)

Yesterday morning I got home from the hospital around 10:00 am. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know, my Mom has been in the hospital for over a month. I've been spending every other night there with her.) My husband greeted me with a piping hot cup of heaven. We sat outside and just enjoyed a little time we were able to steal before anyone else knew I was home.

I had not been to church in over a month. Until yesterday I didn't realize how much I missed worshipping with the people of Elevation Church. (www.ElevationChurch.org) I've been in the hospital every weekend. Yesterday we went to the 11:30 am service. I almost had tears in my eyes as I was singing of my wonderful Savior with my family. I missed that so much. It was like I felt normal again. I've been so out of whack and had a whacked out schedule for 5 weeks, I felt like I had come home.

After church, our family went to the grocery store to do our shopping for the week. I know this doesn't sound like much fun, but I've missed going to the store to shop for my family. Jeff has been keeping up with it for me. It felt good to put milk and eggs in the buggy :) It felt normal. Normal is good.

Upon returning home, I decided that I would throw some laundry in the washing machine...and yes, even this felt good. Now that is quite out of character for me, because I complain about laundry more than anything else. But I've missed being able to do for my family. Doing the laundry was actually a joy! I can't believe I'm writing that!!!!! Plus, while it was washing, I sat out by the pool with my kids, Jeff, and my friend Donna!

Not to bore you with too many details, but the rest of the day/evening I journaled, set some new goals, took a shower, and snuggled by my hubby while we watched a Walt Disney Land documentary with the kids, layed out my workout clothes for the morning, set the coffee, and made sure my supplies and books were in my quiet time area. I was in bed by 9:45 pm. And I slept.

That was just my rejuvenation day. My productive day happened today.

I'll spare you the details, but give you the rundown:

-Up at 4:45, coffee, and quiet time
-Met Donna at 5:45, walked 3 miles
-Had coffee with Jeff out on the patio at 6:45.
-Made my breakfast and lunch.
-Got ready for work. In the office by 8:00 am.
-Worked 6 hr and 45 min in the P31 office.
-Home by 3:00. Folded all the laundry I washed yesterday.
-Watched "Monk" with the kids. (It's our favorite show.)
-Packed a hospital bag.
-Packed supper. And tomorrow's breakfast and lunch.
-Left for hospital at 5:00.
-Helped Mom.
-Here I am now. In my jammies. And feeling quite relaxed and content.

It's been such a long time since I've had days like this. Where I felt like I had a little bit of control. And I am thankful.

Relaxed. Content. Thankful. = Beautiful.

Have a blessed day!

Love,

Melissa

Off and On

2009-07-11T01:32:00.003-04:00

As some of you know, my Mom has been sick. Too much to get into now, but my schedule has been out of whack to say the least. And as a result, so has my healthy living.

Why?

Why is it that when my schedule gets off, I revert back to destructable ways? Not good! But I'm on top of it!

Confession time. For supper tonight I ate onion rings and skittles. And about 2 hours later I felt like pee pee kaa kaa. In other words, yuk! Stuffed, tired, and lethargic. This whole week, I've been making poor choices. Peanutbutter crackers for lunch. Milkshake for supper. No planning at all. No variety. Even though it is a challenge to eat healthy during a crisis, it is not hopeless.

So tonight, I confessed to Jeff and Donna. They seem to hold me accountable the most. Recently I have felt so much better because I cut sugar and carbs out of my diet. I've been eating protein, veggies, and a few fruits....I lost 15 pounds and felt great. I am renewing my commitment today. I'm back on.

Do you ever go on and off of a plan? Do you quit once you get "off" the plan? I used to be that way. Once falling "off" the plan, I'd just quit. And stay "off". But no more. I may fall "off". But the beauty of falling "off", is that you can get right back "on". I'm "on".

Ladies, let us not quit when we fail or fall off of our plans. Have the courage to get right back on. Just like Miss Scarlet says in Gone With The Wind, "Tomorrow is another day." Yes it is.

I'm "on". How about you?

Love,

Melissa

She's So Beautiful

2009-07-08T00:57:00.002-04:00

I wanted to post about my Mom. She is so beautiful. Even in her not so beautiful state, she is amazing. And I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever known. I posted about her today on my other blog. Read here and let me know what you think.

I Am Humbled and Honored
I wasn't expecting to blog about this tonight. I was hoping to blog about Philippians 4:6-7. I've turned over my worries to prayers and truly God has replaced my fears with peace. I can't explain it, but I have the peace which surpasses all understanding. And I wanted to share that with my readers tonight. Even though, I still have peace, my evening went much different than I expected.

I am here at the hospital with my Mom tonight. It's my turn to spend the night with her. Me and my sister are staying every other night. My Mom's journey has not gone how I would have wanted it to go, but we have found bright spots along the way. My Mom has had 5 surgeries in the past 3 weeks. There have been set backs. But I've managed to remain calm. I trust God. I put the situation in His Hands.

Tonight I was challenged. My Mom was sore and chaffed. I washed her full body. As I washed, she cried. She said, "No daughter should ever have to do this." However, I was honored to wash my mother. As I wiped the warm cloth over her body, I felt the love of Jesus saying, "I made this woman and I want her to feel clean. Thank you for washing her." It was my pleasure to wash her.

A little while later, an odor took over the room. Mom's colostomy bag had burst. Her linens and gown were soiled. She was embarrassed. I called for the nurse. 2 nurses came. They tended to Mom with care and allowed her to keep her dignity. I was so appreciative of that. They cleaned her up, changed her gown and sheets, and told her that everything was ok. They took their time in changing her bag, cleaning her up, and making her feel human and normal.

Yes, I have a peace that surpasses understanding, but I have to be honest. I hate what my Mom is going through. I hate it. I have never gone through anything like this in my life. I don't like that staying in the hospital almost feels normal. I don't like that I miss my family and our suburban lifestyle. I don't like that my Mom doesn't know what tomorrow will bring.

But God.

But God.

But God picked me.
He picked me to have the honor to wash my Mom.
He picked me to be humbled enough to clean her up.
He picked me to have the calm and strength to be there for her.
He picked me to have the priviledge to give back a little of what she's given to me over the years. And I am honored and humbled.

God is enough. I couldn't do what I'm doing, feel how I'm feeling, or get through what I am going through without Him. I have peace. And that is only from God.

Many Blessings and Much Love,

Melissa

****Mom has another surgery on Thursday, July 9th. Thank you for your prayers.

I hope I'm Still With it when I'm her age...

2009-07-03T00:05:00.003-04:00

I am at the beach this week with my husband's family. We do this trip every year. It's Jeff, me, our 4 kids, Jeff's parents, his Aunt Dorothy (75), his grandmother-Big Granny (86), and his other grandmother-Little Granny (91).

We've celebrated 3 birthdays this week. 2 of my kids, and Big Granny. Hayden turned 14. Dylan turned 12. Big Granny turned 86. We seem to be at the beach each year for their birthdays.

I have been very observant of the ladies on this trip. We have had so much fun. And I've learned that the things that make being a girl fun when you are young are still the things that make being a girl fun when you are older.

On our first night here, Jeff's mom, Pat, gave all of us bracelets with beads of our birthstones. It just felt fun and girlie to all be getting something special. No boys included. The next day, Big Granny gave all the girls "chocolate" shirts. She found shirts at the Cracker Barrel with a quote about chocolate, so she bought one for each of us. For instance, mine said, "Forget love, I fall in chocolate." Then the next night we all painted our toe nails green. Yes, that's right, I said green! Of course we have pictures to document all of this. The following day, the ladies went shopping, with their green toe nails of course. Boy did we make a statement! How beautiful is that? The youngest of the girls is 7. The oldest is 91.

Tonight we had family game night. The first game was for the kids, involving putting your face in whipped cream to find m&m's and marshmallows. The next game was relay race where we had to put on different items of clothing (my team won :). The last game was a 3 legged race. We all played, from the youngest to the oldest. When it was my turn, I was paired with Aunt Dorothy, who is 75. I must say, she's the youngest 75 year old I know. We wiped out! Yes we did. Fell flat on our faces! She did much better than me! My knee still hurts! But oh it was so fun. When it was Little Granny's turn to do the 3 legged race with Blake, my 15 yr old son, she had extra help from her own son, who is 68. It was precious and priceless.

We often gage beauty on what we 'see' with our own eyes. But I believe beauty is more something that can be experienced. I look at my husband's grandmothers and I see beautiful. Yes, they are wrinkled. Yes, they are slower than the rest of us. But oh, they are amazingly beautiful. When I come on this beach trip each year, I try to take in all I can. I want to pass it all on. The stories. The fun. The laughter. The faith. The traditions. The ladies rock.

This year I'm the 2nd youngest lady on the beach trip. At 42, I'm feeling young. But even as time goes on, even when I'm not one of the youngest, I hope I'm still lovin life and enjoying the fun. Yes, "I hope I"m Still With it when I'm her age......"

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Emotional

2009-06-29T22:57:00.002-04:00

I was looking for a word to describe me lately. Emotional is all I could come up with. I have experienced so many emotions over the past 2-3 weeks, I feel like I could've been 15 different people. But also though, I feel like I haven't felt at all. I know that makes no sense. But much of the time I've felt numb. And the numbness has been a gift from God. At times I think if I could've "felt" what I was really feeling, I would be a basket case. Maybe gone over the edge.

I have not blogged in quite some time. The last time I blogged my Mom was getting ready to go into the hospital. She's now been in there for 1 and 1/2 weeks and will probably be there for another couple weeks. She had major surgery, the first of it's kind. And it was successful. But there is recovery and rehab. But when it's all said and done, this cancer is gone and there will be just the lung cancer to deal with.

But let me say this. Seeing my Mom go through so much has been excruciating on me. I can't take it, yet I can. This woman who I love is suffering. She's too young. And she blames herself. She keeps apologizing to me. It kills me. But I put up a front. I wear a mask to cover the pain. I think my Mom does too.

I'm at the beach now. After staying in the hospital 6 nights with Mom, I was given the blessing of a break. Friends and family are stepping up to help out. My sister is here from Dallas, TX. My mother in law has stayed with my Mom for 2 nights. Donna is keeping all the dogs (mine and Mom's). Denise has volunteered to stay with Mom one night. Cindy stayed with Mom last night. Aunt Gloria stayed on Sat. I'm so thankful for all of them.

I've been at the beach for 2 days now. I have to admit, I felt guilty for coming. But I also know I was worn out and almost ready to crack. The break is good and I'm so thankful for all of the help. I'm really glad to have my sister here.

So, what are my emotions right now? Well, I went on a walk today. Down the beach in the middle of the day. I was thinking about Mom. I was thinking about life. I was thinking about losing my Mom. I was thinking about the loss of life. I got really sad for the first time. My breathing got heavy. I was somewhat angry for having to deal with this. But I also understand that the Master has a plan. I returned to peace.

I just started reading "The Shack" today. I'm half way through it and I can't wait to read the rest. I can tell it's life changing. There are so many lines I've highlighted in the book already that I plan to write about later.

I don't really know what I've written thus far. Hope it made some sense. Today is my 2nd child's birthday. He is 14. Hayden is 14. God bless him. And I thank God for him.

Now I must go. I am watching "wrastlin" with my husband's grandmothers. What a hoot. One is 87 and the other 92. This time with them is priceless! I can't quit laughing! We have 4 generations right here. Watchin' "wrastlin". Lovely!

Blessings,
Melissa

Pray for Mom!

2009-06-17T21:21:00.003-04:00

To anyone who reads this,

My Mom is having major surgery at 7:30 am, Thursday, June 18, 2009. She is having a colostomy and hopefully the surgeon will be able to remove all the cancer in that area. Pray for that please!

She still has lung cancer, but if this other cancer can be controlled, she can atleast live without pain.

I'll be updating all day tomorrow on the blogs, FaceBook ( http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/melissa.r.taylor?ref=profile ), Twitter ( http://twitter.com/MelissaRTaylor ) , and my mom's CaringBridge site ( http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1/journal ).

Thank you for your prayers.

Love,

Melissa

****Edit, Thurs, June 18th, 2:03 pm EST
I updated Mom's CaringBridge site with the details from her surgery. Click the CaringBridge link above if you want details. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. I was lifted by them. Out of this trial, for me, the biggest blessing has come in the form of prayers by friends, co-workers (who are also friends), and people I've never even met before (like many of you) who I also consider friends. Thank you so much! If I could, I'd hug you all real big right now!

Who Are You?

2009-06-16T03:00:00.002-04:00

Hey there and Happy Tuesday Beautiful Friends! Today I have a devotion running on the Proverbs 31 website. It's called, "Once...Always." (http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2009/06/once-always.html ) Let me tell you the crazy way that this devo came to be.

I was watching CMT (Country Music Television) one morning. A video by Kellie Pickler came on. One of the lines in the song was "I've been told that a cheater is always a cheater..." Well, I know it's just a song, a country song at that...I mean many country songs have a good cheatin' story, but I couldn't get that line out of my head. Especially how it doesn't have to be true. Christ can change all that! It made me think of the times I labeled myself and those names stuck in my head. And of the times that someone else called me something and I kept repeating it in my head. Even long after the sin occurred and I had supposedly moved on, I still would hear those names. "Pathetic" "The Worst" "Not Good Enough" Sometimes the people in my life still thought of me that way. And I may never be able to change that. I've learned to be concerned with what God thinks of me. I am defined by Jesus Christ, not by what I did in the past or what others think of me.

Look at these awesome verses:

***2 Corinthians 5:17,“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ; he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (NIV)

Do you believe this verse? I hope so. The old is gone. Praise God! The new has come. Praise God again! Maybe at times I have been "pathetic" and "the worst", but guess what? I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. I am washed clean. Psalm 32:1-5 frees me from anything I've ever done. I am what I am in Jesus.

***Psalm 86:5, "You willingly forgive, and your love is always there for those who pray to you.” (CEV)

Yes, no matter what it is we've done, God forgives. And look at this verse. He "willingly forgives" and His "love is always there." Doesn't that make you feel great?

***Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget what happened long ago! Don't think about the past. I am creating something new. There it is! Do you see it? I have put roads in deserts, streams in thirsty lands.” (CEV)

We are told here to "forget what happened long ago!" Have you forgotten? Do you still define yourself based on something in your past? Oh, let that go today! God doesn't want you living in the past. You are not what you did. He is creating something new in you...today if you wish!

Romans 3:23-24, “All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. But God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins.” (CEV)

Yes it's true. We all have sinned. We all fall short. That's right, we don't measure up. But that's ok. Our God treats us better than we deserve. Why? Because of Jesus. Sweet Beautiful Child of God, you are free and accepted. All you have to do is claim Jesus as your Savior.

Why is it that we struggle with this so much? Can we ever let go of what we were told that we were or what we think we were? I hope so. I know for me I have to pray it and claim Scripture like the ones above for my life. I need those reminders to get me through.

Do you believe the saying "Once a ___________ always a ____________?" Do you believe it about someone? Do you believe it about yourself?

The Maya Angelou quote I referred to in the devo was actually a quote I had hanging on my refrigerator for many years. "When people show you who they are, believe them...the first time." I actually tore a card out of the very first issue of "O" Magazine with this quote on it. I saved it to remind myself that I wouldn't get burned or mistreated more than once by the same person. And I held people up to that standard. Do me wrong once and well, you are history! I won't fall for that again! I lived by that until the day came when I needed forgiveness for something horrible that I had done. I didn't want to be defined by it. I didn't want anyone to believe that I could be defined by that "the first time." No, I desired a 2nd chance. Thank God I got it. And to this day I wear a silver band on my right hand with "4GVN" engraved on it. I'll never remove it. I want to remember it always.

I pray that you were encouraged by today's devotion. In the eyes of God you are beautiful. No matter what the world tells you, no matter what skeletons you have in your closet. You are a beautiful child of God. Jesus lived and died for you and in Him there is no condemnation. You can be free. Your slate can be wiped clean.

Please share your thoughts with me.

Blessings,

Melissa

***Keep checking my blogs, I'll be hosting a give away soon (3 copies of "The Love Dare") and I'm starting a Love Dare marriage study. See http://www.biblestudywithmelissa.blogspot.com/ for more details.

Fun Friday

2009-06-12T23:39:00.002-04:00

It's Friday. And I guess it's been fun. This has been a crazy week. Mostly good, very busy. Are my weeks any other way?

It's late. 11:30ish as I write. I'm going back and forth between email, twitter, facebook, and my blog. I'm also watching a movie with Hayden, my 13 yr old son (Shredderman Rules). There are others in the room, but they have drifted off. So, I guess I'm multi-tasking.

Earlier tonight, Hayley Grace had dress rehearsal for her dance recital. Friday nights are usually reserved for doing NOTHING! "Nothing" didn't start until around 10:30 due to the rehearsal. Tomorrow will be busy as well. Hayden is attending a bat mitzvah, Hayley Grace is attending Sydney's 9th birthday party (Happy Birthday Syd!), and our family is celebrating Dylan's 5th grade graduation. Sunday we will go to church in the morning and HG's dance recital in the afternoon. Then............rest. Right? LOL!

Some great news came our way this week. About my mom. Check it out here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1. Click "journal" to get the latest update. It is really good for a change!

Are you having fun? Has summer officially started for you? What are you doing this summer? Let me know!And have a blessed and beautiful weekend!

Love you much,

Melissa

Updates

2009-06-08T22:28:00.002-04:00

Here is a little of what's been going on lately.

1. Dylan's game did not take place on Thursday night. It was Monday night. They lost, but played a great game. Great season Cobras!

2. My mom's exam is over. The doctors have scheduled her surgery for June 18th. She will be in the hospital for 6-8 days.

3. I went to the Brad Paisley concert last Friday with my awesome friend, Donna. We had such a great time. It was pouring rain and our seats were outside. Fortunately for $10 each we were able to upgrade and sit under the shelter. The concert was fabulous. It was the first concert in my whole life that I knew every word to every song. I didn't want it to end.

4. On Saturday, 4 of my friends and all of our kids went to the No Doubt/Paramore concert. What fun. We tailgated beforehand and enjoyed the concert. I loved listening to the kids talk in the car on the way to and from the show. I learned a lot driving and pretending like I wasn't listening (but I really was!). I hope I can post some pics soon.

5. Church on Sunday...sermon on anxiety. I needed it.

6. Cleaned the office after chuch. The kids and I do this together every other week. They worked harder than ever to get it done.

7. Jeff had a great weekend getaway with his high school friends. They went to Charleston. I was so glad for him to take a break from real life and relax and play golf with guys he's known for 30 years. I missed him though!

8. Work is busier than ever. Lately I have not been finishing all I have to do before I leave. There seems to always be more. Job security is a good thing :) (It's mostly She Speaks Conference stuff and prayer requests)

9. I have officially decided to hold off on meeting with any publishers or agents at the conference this year. I thought this would be a good time because I've done so much writing and I thought I might be ready to present a proposal (or 2) this year. However, I know very clearly that this is not the year to pursue my dream of writing a book. I think I'm supposed to keep writing, but I know I need to devote my time and attention this summer to my mom. As I said before, she has a surgery scheduled for June 18th and will have another in July or August. I'm content to wait...again :)

10. Dylan "graduates" from 5th grade on Wednesday. My baby boy is leaving elementary school, I can't believe it. There will be tears I promise!

11. Hayley Grace has her dance recital this upcoming Sunday afternoon.

12. I've lost 15 pounds and I'm exercising reguarly and eating mostly healthy.

13. My son, Hayden, had an appt with a neurosurgeon. Because of his spine injuries, he will begin physical therapy soon. We are praying he will be able to play football in the fall. Unsure at this point.

Busy times, fun times, cautious times, sad times. All times for depending on the Lord and leaning on Him daily. Can't get through this life any other way. Ups and downs occur every week.

So, that's life for me lately in 13 brief bullet points. I wish I had more inspirtation and encouragement to give out right now, but I just don't. I'm sorry about that.

May you be blessed wherever you are and whatever you are going through today.

Blessings,

Melissa

Fun Friday

2009-06-05T03:00:00.002-04:00

Is it really Friday?

No way.

I've been waiting for this day all week!

And what a week it's been! Hayden's Orthodontist appt, Blake's Final exams, Hayden's Spine Doctor appt, Hayley Grace's End of year party, Hayley Grace's Field Day, Dylan's baseball games, Mom's CT Scan, Mom's major invasive exam, Jeff left for guy's weekend at the beach, writing devos, preparing book proposals, plus just the usual work and house stuff! Busy busy! Those who know me know that when my life gets this busy, I get overwhelmed. Especially if there are serious issues at hand (like with Hayden and my mom). In fact, today at work I felt very unfocused and out of breath. I was so concerned over Hayden's appt with the spine specialist. It went well, we have a plan for healing, but it's still a lot. And I constantly worry about my mom. I've had to coordinate other people picking up my kids from school. I overslept this morning. An hour late. Just crazy. Not much different from any other week. Except.....

Tonight I'm going to Brad Paisley!!!!! I can't wait! Here he is at the "Cars" movie premier a few years ago. Blake is getting his autograph.

My friend Donna and I are going. I am just so happy to be getting away and spending some awesome time with her and listening to my favorite country singer. I will be singing. I hope I don't embarass Donna. Jeff and I saw him last year and it was such a great show. This guy can sing. He can play guitar. And his songs tell wonderful stories.

The fun doesn't stop there. I'll have a brief break of fun when I have to go clean the Proverbs 31 office on Saturday morning, but the fun will return. Saturday night, my friends Donna and Denise and me and our kids are going to see No Doubt and Paramore. Another concert. More fun. More singing. So excited. I love concerts. Just no brain fun. I need it! It's been quite a week!

Have a great weekend! Live life to the fullest, laugh some, and share your love.

I'll tell Brad you said, "hello"!

Love,

Melissa

How can a week make a difference?

2009-06-02T16:26:00.003-04:00

Don't know, but boy can it ever!

15 pounds ago, I was a size 14. I blogged last week about all the different sizes in my in my closet and drawers and how I decided to try some of my old (smaller) clothes on. And how they didn't fit and were still just as tight as ever! http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2009/05/one-size-fits-all.html

I mean puh-leeze, I've now lost 15 pounds, and I've been a real good girl!!!! Frustrated at this, I decided to put myself through the same torture again today, hoping for better results.

AND I GOT THEM!!!! Yes! I fit into my size 12's!!! And easily at that! So, good bye 14's, hello for a while 12's and I look forward to seeing you 10's!

Yippee aye Ayyyyyyyyy!

Weight loss success feels great. A smaller boo-hiney feels great. Fitting into size 12 feels great! Believing I'm beautiful no matter what the number, shape, or size....priceless!

Beautliful Blessings,

Melissa

Later Edit: When I began this weight loss/health plan 6 weeks ago, my blood pressure was 125/85. Too high. I took it again today and it was 118/78! I'd say that's a great improvement. Amazing what just 15 pounds can do. Oh I feel good!

I Am Beautiful....

2009-05-30T23:45:00.002-04:00

No I'm Not....seriously, do I really think I'm beautiful? Who is this blog fooling anyway????

I have a confession to make. I started this blog over a year ago to try and convince myself that I was indeed beautiful. I didn't feel beautiful. No one told me I was beautiful. But I knew that God made me for reason and that He truly believed in me, His creation, and that I was wonderfully made, so I must be beautiful...right?

I used to believe that I started this blog to encourage others and convince them that they were indeed beautiful. However, I have to admit, I think that is not the total truth. I'm actually trying to convince myself that I am beautiful to someone. Despite my weight gain. Despite my failures. Despite my circumstances. And I have to admit, often I make myself feel better when I write here to encourage others. But does it truly sink in?

When you read encouragement here, do you feel any different? Do you feel beautiful? Is this worth it?

Well, I can't answer for anyone other than myself, but I say "yes"...it is worth it.

When I look in the mirror, I am often disappointed by what I see. In fact, when I look at my life and the lives of those I love, I am disappointed by what I see. But I have hope. Hope in what God has in store. That fact alone makes me feel somewhat beautiful. It's like this.....I don't "feel" beautiful, but I "know" I am. I know I am beautiful because God made me and He doesn't make mistakes or mishaps....He creates beauty. I am a gift to the world because the Bible says "Children are a gift from God" and I am a child of God, so I must be a gift to this world from God. That's beautiful.

And I need to keep telling myself that because that is true.

Hey beautiful ladies...life is so short. Much shorter that I wish it was. I can say this because my mother is dying. We don't know how much time this awesome and beautiful woman has left. She has cancer and the outlook is not good. Mom is beautiful. OMG! She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And it's not from her appearance...right now that is frail, pale, bald, and sickly. It's not from her personality...right now that is weak. It's not from her talents...right now she can't get up and go anywhere or do anything special. Do you know where her beauty is?

It's from her heart. And it's crystal clear. Beauty exudes from her heart. She has loved. She has given. She has sacrificed. And it has nothing to do with how she looks or what she's done. It's what's inside.

I have struggled so long with wanting to feel like I mattered and that I was beautiful. I know that Satan would like me to think that I never mattered and that outward beauty defines who I am. Thankfully, I don't fall for that anymore. I hope you don't either.

I talk to many of you weekly that feel like you just don't measure up as a wife, mother, friend, or person. The prayer requests I receive reflect a hopeless world, hopeless marriages, lonely women, and desperate voices crying for help. Feelings of unworthiness, discontentment, and ugliness. It's so sad. And it's all lies because I promise you that your Creator thinks so much more of you than that.

I Am Beautiful....yes I am. I know it and I believe it...I really do. God made me on purpose and though I may not fulfill His every wish, He loves me anyway. I mess up big time. I get ugly and do wrong. but that doesn't define me. Christ defines me. Hallelujah! I am free, forgiven, and beautiful.

And so are you. No Matter What. No matter what anyone thinks of you or says about you. You are beautiful. I pray you know it.

Bless You,

Melissa

***Follow me on Twitter...http://twitter.com/MelissaRTaylor

A Good Morning Starts With A...

2009-05-28T21:39:00.003-04:00

GOOD NIGHT! I wish I could say I was the one who coined that phrase, but I can't. I have to hand that one to my dear sweet husband. As I was running around frantic one morning, stressing out, wishing I had gotten up early for quiet time and exercise, and running late....Jeff said, "You should have planned out your today yesterday. A good morning starts with a good night." Then it just got to be a family saying. Each night when we needed to go to bed, Jeff would say, "A good morning starts with a good night, soooooo GOOOOOD NIGHT!" I know I'm being silly, but isn't it true?

My best days seem to happen when I go to bed a decent time the night before and take a little time to plan it out. It's amazing what a good night's sleep does. And when I have a plan, I don't have to second guess what my next move will be.

This week I have been really focused on discipline. If you read my other blog, http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/2009/05/discipline.html , you know that discipline is my new focus. It has been a weakness for much of my life. And I was convicted that it was time to become disciplined. So I have focused, prayed, and studied discipline. I've planned ahead and gotten enough sleep. And I recruited a few friends to help me too.

I got up at 5:15 am each morning this week to exercise. 3 days I met friends to walk together. 2 days I exercised with a video in my home. In order to recruit friends who would actually get up that early to walk with me, I emailed everyone I knew in my area and asked if anyone could walk that early. (for me that's when it has to be) Well, most said "no" or didn't respond at all. But 2 did respond. Denise committed to once a week. Donna committed to 3 days a week every other week. That helps me tremendously. It's not everyday, but it's enough to get me up and keep me motivated. We exercise and we get social time. It's awesome. I don't feel like getting up in the morning, but being committed to discipline, I do it! :)

I have also been preparing my meals a day ahead. That helps because then I don't have to wonder what to eat, I know what I'm going to eat. Not that temptations don't pop up, they do. But that takes strength, conviction, and discipline too. It's hard, but it's happening. And when I overcome those strong temptations, it feels so good afterwards!

Organiziation if not my forte', but my husbands saying holds true. And tomorrow I am meeting Donna and Denise for our weekend jumpstart....60 minute power walk. And it starts at 5:30am. So I must go!

A Good Morning Starts With A Goodnight....so "GOODNIGHT!!!!"

Sweet Dreams,

Melissa

One Size Fits All

2009-05-26T20:36:00.002-04:00

There's nothing that makes me feel much worse than when I try on clothing with the tag that says "one size fits all" and it's too tight, too small. I think such tags/sizes should be forbidden because truth be told there is no such thing as ONE SIZE FITS ALL!!!!

I remember once my friend, Denise, said she had some clothes she was giving away and thought some of them might look good on me. Humiliating! "Try this one"...."Oh I think that will be too small"...."No it won't, I wore this right after I had Hunter (her child)"..."Nice, if looking like a stuffed sausage is in style." "Try this one"..."nope too small"...."try it, it's one size fits all"...."Right, fits all BUT ME!" So not fair! I actually did find a few good things though. I got 2 pair of shoes :)

I have lost 13 pounds over the past month. I lost the first 10 in 10 days. That doesn't really count I don't think. Those are just those jump start pounds responding to the shock my body was in. I lost 2 the next week and 1 last week. I'm very satisfied with it so far. It's not been easy. I still miss my munchies, but I'm feeling great. (I have cut sugar out of my diet. Eating lots of protein, veggies, and a little fruit.) I'm also walking 45 min daily and getting little spurts of exercise during the day. Though the number on the scales seems impressive, I think those 13 pounds must have been located in my fingers because my clothes do not feel any different!

Today I thought I'd give some old clothes a "try on" just to see. Bad idea. It was just like being in Denise's closet again and trying on the "one size fits all". The ones I wanted to fit in were still just as tight.

Now at certain times in my life, this would have been enough to discourage me, make me feel like it's just not worth it anyway, and maybe even go eat some chips. So imagine how great it felt today to NOT feel that way at all. Those old feelings of humilation and discouragement just weren't there. Of course I'd love to fit into my smaller clothes and see some visible signs of weight loss, but for now (only now) I'm content with the other physical things happening to me. I feel great. I'm sleeping better. I've been treating my body good. The other will come in time.

One size fits all....hmph!

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Fun Friday is Back!

2009-05-22T21:01:00.003-04:00

Why did I stop? Not sure. But, I used to post "Fun Friday" each Friday on my blog. I'm not sure why I stopped. I think maybe life got too serious. I think I'll bring it back, today.

Fun Friday has no real purpose. It's just random fun. So, here goes.

This truly has been a Fun Friday. Work was fun, as usual. I work in a great place, Proverbs 31 Ministries. I do not ever want to work anywhere else. We sit on balls at our desks (no kidding...more about that in another post) and we rebound a couple of times a day (more on that too.). It's one of the only places I really feel like I can totally 100% be myself. I love to work!

American Idol ended this week. This was really sad for my family. We love this show. All in one week, our family faves ended. (Survivor, American Idol, Amazing Race, The Office, and Dancing with the Stars) We truly bond over these shows. We don't always agree, but we bond. And wonderful family discussions stem from them. We loved the AI finale. And most of us loved the outcome. Hayley Grace, my 7 yr old was rooting for Adam. Too bad so sad Hayley Grace! Ha.

So, for Taylor family TV time for the summer, what do we do? We watch a lot of movies and we DVR shows like: "Leave it to Beaver", "Home Improvement", "Monk", "The Cosby Show", and "The Brady Bunch". Ok, do you officially think we are super geeks? Until Football season begins, we have no choice.

It's Memorial Day Weekend. Time for fun, family, cookouts, and the official kick off to summer. What are you doing? For the first time in ages, we have a weekend with no obligations. No baseball games. No speaking engagements. No work. Ahhh..... I'm going to sleep on Saturday morning. Don't know what I'll do on Saturday afternoon. I'll date my husband on Saturday night. Sunday after church, we are going to my Mom's for a family cookout. I haven't seen her in over a week, so I'm very excited about this. I might spend the night on Sunday with her, not quite sure yet. Love her so much.

I haven't talked much about it, but I've altered my lifestyle drastically over the past month. I have been way more consistent with my exercising and I started focusing on cutting sugar and bad carbs totally out of my diet. It has been SO HARD at times. My habits have tried to come back, but I've stayed strong!!!! I've had a great team supporting me and eating the same way and that has helped tremendously. Even the other night, I was speaking at a dinner here in Charlotte. Right before dinner was served, LeAnn Rice came up to me and gave me a small container of dressing. It was our yummy sugar free dressing for my salad. She was helping me stay true to the plan I was on. I know that sounds minor, but it was major!!!! (so was skipping the cheesecake!) I've lost 13 pounds so far. Before you start to think that's a great thing, I have to admit my clothes fit no different. I'm looking at the scales and seeing the number go down. I have to wonder,"where is the 13 pounds coming from???" Jeff says he can tell a difference in my face. So I guess I've lost 13 pounds from my face!

I guess this is enough fun for one Friday. And I've rambled long enough.

If you are reading this, I pray you have a wonderful and blessed weekend. You are beautiful, do you know that? Just ask God!

Happy Memorial Day! Honor and remember those who died for our freedom and the love and safety of our country.

Much Love,

Melissa

Being honest, losing weight feels good

2009-05-17T20:29:00.002-04:00

I've had a lifetime of ups and downs. Mostly on the scales, I might add! I've been successful at losing and then a failure by gaining it back. Over the past 2 yrs, I've been gaining. Until now.

A few weeks ago, a few gals in my office, a few of my team members, and I decided to make some much needed changes in the way we were eating and treating our bodies. Well, to be more acurate, the team members have been doing this for a while. In fact, it's because of their success (Marybeth is looking way good!!!) that the rest of us were motivated to get started.

I'm 2 and 1/2 weeks into it and I must say I've done better than I expected. I still need to get more consistent with exercise, that's for sure. But I've lost 12 pounds so far. I know a lot of that is just beginner losing weight...my body was in shock from the change. I don't feel my clothes fitting more loosely, but they aren't as tight either. My energy level is higher and I'm not as run down after meals. I've cut my sugar out almost completely. I'm eating fruits and veggies and good proteins. Am I hungry? Oh yea. I'm hungry alright! I've learned that I need more protein at the end of the day than at the beginning. When I wake up, I'm hungry. I'm drinking lots of water and a little bit of diet 7 up. The rest of my buddies have given up caffeine. I am still drinking coffee in the morning w/ fat free creamer. That's one thing I just enjoy too much to give up. Besides that, I've gone very natural in my food choices.

We'll see how it goes and I'll keep posting more regularly about progress. I will say, being on a team of people with a common goal is easier than doing it alone.

So, down 12 so far. And that is encouraging. Only 25 more to go! :)

It feels good to be going down.

Love,

Melissa

Spending Mother's Day With the Most Beautiful Woman I Know

2009-05-10T19:49:00.002-04:00

You know who it is. MY MOM! That's right.

This morning I awoke to a very much appreciative breakfast in bed....(eggs and fruit and coffee), a card from my kids, and a card from Jeff. The card Jeff gave me was probably the sweetest and most meaningful. Words are my #1 love language and the card Jeff picked out the best card for me. After I read it, I asked him, "Do you really mean all this?" He said, "I mean every word." That was priceless. I also got a bottle of massage oil and some foot creme. Exactly what I wanted.

After church, I went to the grocery store and then to my mom's in Rock Hill. She is truly the most beautiful woman that I know. Inside and out! As she read the cards from the kids, Jeff, and me, she just started crying. She apologized for putting us through so much with her illness. She was feeling guilty. I said, "Mama, don't you dare! Nothing is your fault, there is no blame. I'm just happy for today. I'm here with you!"

We've had a wonderful day. When it came time for supper, she wanted an Arby's beef and cheese. And that's what she got. I was a good girl and brought my own supper. I've been on a very strict diet for 2 weeks now. (I'll post about that later, but I'm down 10 pounds) And then after supper, mom wanted OUR FAVORITE apple turnovers and ice cream. I told my mother, "I can't have those." She said, "Melissa, you have to! We love these!" Do you know hard it was to pass those up? The apple turnovers and ice cream are a blast from the past. They are a sweet memory dating back to when I was a little girl. But I remained strong. No apple turnovers. Mom had hers though. And I loved watching her enjoy it. (I so wanted some!!! But I've been doing so good for 2 weeks. I stayed strong.)

We just watched the Amazing Race finale and now are watching The Apprentice finale. (I know, too much reality TV...oh well, we love it!) We are laying on the bed together and just enjoying time. I will treasure this Mother's Day forever.

Time is such a precious commodity. It is one of the only things on this earth that we can never get back. When time is gone, it's gone. I'm so thankful I got spend time with my mom today. I love her so much.

Blessings,

Melissa

Hey Y'all

2009-05-08T07:04:00.003-04:00

I just wrote the post for other blog that I have. I scheduled it to post at 5:30 Friday, May 8th in the morning. I have a devo running on the Proverbs 31 site and Crosswalk site on Friday. If you are interested in reading the devo, click here: http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2009/05/cast-and-present.html . If you are interested in reading my response to the devo, click here: http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-still-need-to-learn-to-cast-and.html .

Honestly, I was caught off guard by the devo that was running on Friday, May 8th. I wrote it a while back when I was facing totally different situations. But I needed it now.

I referred to "The Great Physician"...wow! I need to trust Him now more than ever. I need to trust Him with my mom, who is suffering from stage 4 lung cancer and soon undergoing surgery for a colorectal cancer. I need to trust Him with Dylan, my son who is suffering from sweaty palms and feet (sounds silly, but it is prohibiting him from doing much). I need to trust Him with Hayley Grace who has "walking pnemonia". I need to trust Him with Hayden who is undergoing spine fracture treatment. I need to learn to trust Him with my dad who has recently had his 3rd divorce and is going through treatment for diabetes, depression, and other ailments. I need to learn to trust Him with my sister who has Multiple Schlerosis. And I need to learn to trust Him with all things. The Great Physician is capable of healing and taking care of every one in our lives. Every one and every thing. There is no need to fear. Right?

What I learn over and over again is that God is truly in control. He loves us more than we could ever imagine. And we can trust Him to take care of it all. Ahhhhh, so I can relax, right?

On another note, this week has been so busy! Work has been crazy busy. The She Speaks Conference is filling up and we are getting so many calls into the office about it. I am speaking a lot this month. The kids have lots of activities going on. Life is just crazy! But God is faithful and awesome and has shown up every time I've needed Him! Love that!

This weekend I am heading to Greer, South Carolina (very close to my hometown of Greenville, SC). I'm speaking at a women's brunch. I would appreciate your prayers. I have family attending this event. That makes me nervous!!!!! Safe because they love me, but nervous because.....well, it just does! The theme is "Extreme Makeover: Heart Edition". Praying God's fingerprints all over it.

Sunday, I'm going to my mom's in Rock Hill, SC. After church I'm going to spend the day and night with my mother. There is no place I'd rather be on Mother's Day than with my own mother. So that's where I'll be. We have decided as a family that we would celebrate me as a mom for Mother's Day, next week.

I know this post was a series of thoughts. No real subject. But that's what you get with me today. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Weekend. No matter what you celebrate just remember that God loves you. He forgives you. He made you for a purpose. You are super duper important to Him. He made you for a reason. You are beautiful.

Love You All,

Melissa

Women of Grace

2009-05-04T23:44:00.001-04:00

What a perfect title. Women of Grace. That was the group I was priveleged enough to speak to last weekend. And they were indeed "Women of Grace".

I typically look forward to what God has in store for events that He brings me to. But I have to admit, that this event took my by surprise. I was unprepared. I was distracted. I've been very busy. I've been very concerned about my Mom's health, cancer, and condition...and my son, Hayden's spine defect/injury, MRI, and prognosis. I've been concerned about my Dad and the fact that he's been lonely, depressed, and hopeless. I've been saddened about the prayer requests that have come through the Proverbs 31 prayer line. So many lonely, sad, and lost women.

But God. Yes. But God.

This event, Women's retreat, was amazing. God showed up in a huge way. It's like it was all orchestrated and arranged so that just the right healing would take place. I feel so blessed that God would allow me to take a front row seat to observe what He would accomplish. Hearts stirred, burdens lifted, questions answered and questions unanswered but addressed, transformed lives, and salvations. Oh Lord, I love you so much. I don't doubt you, but I never thought You'd show up like you did this weekend. Those "Women of Grace" really got to experience how cool, real, and awesome you are. Thank you.

Women of Grace at the retreat, please let me know how God met you this past weekend. You blessed me more than I can say. I pray that the message God gave you followed you home. You are "blutiful"!!!! I love you. I miss you. And thank you for welcoming me and taking me in like a friend. I had a great time with you!

Much Love,

Melissa

God's Masterpiece, Yes You!

2009-04-27T05:30:00.000-04:00

Good Morning! I am exhausted today! This past weekend was mine and my husband's 25th High School reunion. It was a combo reunion, Classes of 82, 83, 84, 85, and 86. Jeff was Class of 84, I was 85. It was a weekend I will always treasure. Getting all of those people together and having such a super time. The coolest thing was all of the screams and squeals you'd hear when two people who hadn't seen each other in a long time would recognize each other and run into each other's arms. It was a special weekend indeed.

If you are visiting here from the Proverbs 31 Devotion, welcome! I hope the message in today's devotion was helpful and encouraging for you.

Admittedly, for a few months now, I've been a little nervous about this reunion. I'm not the size 8 or even 10 I was hoping I'd be. With that said, I've been very focused on God's perspective lately. When approaching a situation I say, "If God was in my shoes, what would He be thinking? How would He feel? What would be most important to Him?" This has helped me so much! I've been able to take my thoughts and eyes more off of myself and onto others. And I've enjoyed my life a little more even though I'm going through a lot of tough stuff right now.

When I really took the time to soak in what it means to be God's Masterpiece, WHOA! It makes me stop and I almost have to gain my composure again. It's that amazing and incomprehendable to me. I just can't grasp that! And not only am I God's Mastepiece, but so is everyone He created. When I look at everyone else that way, it makes me want to be a little more patient and kind to all of the Masterpieces in my life. I had a great opportunity to do that this weekend.

Are you convinced that you are a Masterpiece, created by God? You were created in His image. Wow, you really are beautiful then aren't you? Yep, you sure are ;)

When you finally can look at yourself the way Your Designer looks at you, you gain a freedom to live more in the moment and with appreciation for yourself, not pity. I thank God today for creating me, His Masterpiece. And I thank Him for creating you too. Afterall, we are made in the image of God. We are His Masterpieces. And that my friend is just pretty darn special!

Hugs and Blessings,

Melissa

High School Reunion

2009-04-23T20:57:00.002-04:00

I have a High School Reunion to attend this weekend. It's a multiple class reunion, '82, '83, '84, '85, and '86. Jeff is the class of '84. I am the class of '85. East Mecklenburg High School, Charloote, NC. Jeff is in charge of the event. He initiated it, planned it (with help from a committee), and has worked overtime in making it happen. Obviously with Jeff being in charge and the fact that he's my husband, I've known when the reunion would take place for months and months.

So, the plan was that the reunion would motivate me to lose weight and look decent by reunion time. Hmmmm, hope I have a plan B.

Actually I do. I didn't lose weight. But I lost something better. I lost my lack of self confidence. I lost my lack of valuing appearance over my identity. I lost my lack of comparing my looks to someone elses. Isn't that beautiful?

I am so excited for this reunion. I loved high school and can't wait to see old friends this weekend. Plus this is an awesome get away for me and Jeff. We are staying at a swanky hotel in uptown Charlotte all weekend.

I know that reunions are often stressful for some. The great thing about this reunion is I've finally learned that people will not see me as gaining or losing weight, or attractive or not. They will see my heart. I'm kind, friendly, I love Jesus, and I'm fun. And ......

I am Beautiful.

And just between us, I can't wait to dance to 80's music!

Love,

Melissa

I Feel Beautiful!

2009-04-16T22:18:00.003-04:00

I haven't exercised this week. Shame on me. I have had a major pity party this week. Shame on me. I got some new clothes today. I feel better. I feel pretty. Yeah Me!

This blog is dedicated to the glory of God. It is all about how the outside doesn't define us. The heart does. It's also an honest blog. It's about how the outside does affect how the inside feels.

For the past year, I've been wearing pretty much the same thing to work each week. I wear jeans, my husband's clothes, a few shirts, and not much else. Why? Because not much else that I own fits me.

Today that changed.

My ultra sweet, wise, and fashion smart mother in law took me shopping. I called her a few weeks ago. I gave her my budget and told her my longings for pretty clothes and a better body. She took me out for an hour and in that hour changed my whole perspective.

First thing she said, "Melissa, you are wearing men's clothes. Stop that. You are a woman. A Beautiful woman. Do not wear your husband's clothes. You are covering the beautiful woman that you are." She took me to a store. She sent me to the dressing room. I stayed in there and she brought me clothes. And they fit. They looked good. They made me look pretty. I even looked lighter. And I did feel better.

At first, I was thinking to myself...."clothes should not make me feel better....feelings are fickle and they change with the wind....so why do I feel better for looking better?" But the truth is, we do feel better....WHEN OUR CLOTHES FIT!!!!!!

I spent $120 today. I got a pair of jeans, a skirt, a shrug, 3 shirts, and a pair of shoes. And I love them. Stacey and Clinton would be proud. (What Not To Wear)

So, does the outside make you feel better? For a while maybe. But it's not permanent. It's only temporary, while you are looking in the mirror maybe. The inside has to be there in order to have a lasting beauty. But I have to be honest here....the outside does make a difference.

I don't have much more to say tonight. Do you? If so, share please.

You guys are always so insightful!

Love you!

Melissa

Do You Feel Beautiful?

2009-04-14T22:04:00.002-04:00

I hope you do. Today I don't.

It's so pathetic. I know it's not from God. I know it's self pity. And I know that Satan loves to attack me in this area because I'm vulnerable.

Read here the post from my other blog. It explains a lot of how I'm feeling tonight. Just overwhelmed.

Blue...
Hey. I'm blue. I really am. I was hesitant. I'm full of self pity and I admit it. It is what it is.I'm overwhelmed by so much.

My mom....y'all know about her. She's amazing and beautiful. And she's suffering in pain right now. Cancer is consuming her body. It's so hard to watch.

My dad...I've kind of neglected him lately. I haven't seen him since Christmas. His health is not good, but it's more of a daily struggle not so much a terminal thing like Mom's. He has diabetes and depression. The depression is plagueing him at the present time. Hayley Grace and I are going to pick him up tomorrow. It's his birthday and he's lonely. I'm thinking that a visit to Charlotte will do him good. While he's here he will get to go to Hayden's track meet and Dylan's baseball game and we will celebrate his birthday. Hayley Grace and I are going to get him tomorrow. I'm so thankful she's traveling with me.

My kids...all good, but they are involved in so much. Hayley Grace has CheerDance and Hip Hop, Dylan has baseball, Hayden has track, and Blake has CYC (Committed Young Christians).

My husband....Oh my, he rocks. He's been so loving and supportive of me and my feelings. God love him! He loves me. That isn't easy.

My friends....if you only knew. They have stepped in and filled in gaps that I was unaware needed filling. Cleaning my house. Bringing meals. Having my carpets cleaned (I'm sure that was the dirtiest water ever seen!). And giving of a mountain house for a weekend getaway or 2. But there are still those friends who also have many needs and are in hard places right now. I so wish I could do more.

My laundry...ugh. It's ugly. And thankfully my kids don't mind picking their clean clothes out of the clean clothes basket. Or atleast they don't complain. Or that I haven't been cooking much. Hot Pockets and Stouffers have been lifesavers!

My Work...one of the highlights of my life. I get uplifted daily from my coworkers who also happen to be great friends. They surround me with prayer. They also have been filling in for me when I can't pull my weight around the office. God bless them!!!! They make me take a break and bring laughter to my days. And I get paid!

My Speaking...God help me. I have an event in 2 weeks and I feel so unprepared. The theme is "Leaving An Eternal Legacy". This has never meant more to me than it does right now. My mom has left a legacy and I'm so aware of that now. I never was before because I had no fear of losing her. She was here. I didn't think of her as a memory. Now, I think of what I can keep of her. What parts of her I can hang on to. Her legacy is huge to me now. This event will be too. I just know God has the plans. I just wish I had them. I also have 2 other events in May. One at my family's church in Greenville, SC and one here in Charlotte where many of my friends will be in attendance.

My Email...I get so many loving emails each day. And I also receive the Proverbs 31 prayer requests each day too. It's so hard because I can't respond to all of my emails. I try, but I fail. That is hard for me. Also the prayer requests we receive each day at Proverbs is so hard. I love these people. I love them. I care for them. I wish I could respond to each one, but I can't. I do read them though. And I send them to our prayer team. But I wish I could connect with them.
Just have to trust God that He will take care of them.

So, tonight....I'm blue. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I want to have some time alone. I want to read and write. I guess also, I'm selfish.

That's where God comes in. He provides. Whatever I need, He provides. For today. And that's all I ask.Blue for today but strength, peace, and love to make it through the day and whatever tomorrow may bring.

Thank you so much for your prayers and love.
Love,

Melissa

Hey, You are Beautiful!!! Yep, you are.

Heading to the Mountains...Happy Easter

2009-04-08T21:32:00.003-04:00

My family and I are going out of town for Easter weekend...and we need it! We've been under a lot of stress and trials lately and this will be a welcome get away....made possible by our great friends Kenny and Denise.

You may remember a few months ago, Jeff and I had an amazing weekend away together in the mountains. It was at K and D's mtn house. Well, tomorrow we are going back to the same place, only this time with the kids and Princess too. We are so excited! We have movies picked out to watch, games to play, hikes to go on, places to visit, and beautiful views to view from our private balcony!

We will be returning Sunday and attending Easter Sunday service at our church on Sunday evening. I'm so thankful they are having an evening service!

Wherever you are and whatever you do, I pray that you will have a blessed Easter. Please take the time to celebrate Jesus, the risen Christ. We are free because of Him and what He did for us. We will be hunting for eggs, making cookies, and awaiting the Easter Bunny....but we will be celebrating our sins being forgiven most of all. Thank you Jesus! I love you so much. You have made my life possible and worthwhile. You have given me purpose and allowed me to fail and bounce back. Thank you so much.

Happy Easter Y'all! He is risen!

Melissa

Who Told You That?

2009-04-07T13:25:00.003-04:00

I saw this on my pastor's blog today and wanted to share it. Too often we women listen to the lies in our head or allow the thoughts and opinions of others to influence what we think of ourselves. When we hear things that cause us to think less of ourselves we need to ask the question, "Who Told Me That?" If it wasn't from God or from a godly perspective, we can throw it out.

Read below from www.StevenFurtick.com :

Who told you that?

After the fall, Adam began to explain to God how he was ashamed and afraid because he was naked. I love the way God responded: “Who told you that you were naked?”

Genesis 3:11

Obviously Adam had been influenced, informed and instructed by a voice other than the voice of God. God was perturbed about it! “You think you need to hide in shame and be afraid? Who told you that?”

I wonder how many times God has the same objection when He hears the lies we believe: Who told you that?

Who told you weren’t capable?
Who told you one little compromise wouldn’t hurt?
Who told you you’d never accomplish anything significant?
Who told you it was too late to start over?
Who told you that you couldn’t be forgiven?
Who told you that you had to settle for that?
Who told you you’d never gain victory over that sin pattern?

So many voices compete to create a cacophony of confusion concerning the things we believe about ourselves. God’s voice resonates with clarity, wisdom, and vision.

Who misled you?
Who talked you out of your dream?
Who convinced you that you didn’t measure up?
Who told you that?

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

For the Health of It

2009-04-06T22:33:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to really focus on good health. Not a number on the scale (although I have to admit that I'd like it to go down!....I have to be honest.) But since spending so much time with my mom, I have this overwhelming desire to do whatever I can to be healthy. Some things we can't control. But many things we can.

If I'm honest, my healthy eating and exercising have not been consistent. I get on a kick, but then I fall off. This was clear to me the other day as I had my blood pressure taken. Typically, I run low. Not this time. Now it wasn't high, but high for me. 120 over 85. The 85 number was enough to grab my attention.

I have been reading "YOU on a Diet". I am officially starting tomorrow. I partially started today, but I still had some shopping to do. I really do want to be healthy. I want to be here for my kids and grandkids. That's what I keep telling myself when I don't want to exercise or when I want to eat chips!

Today, me and Princess walked about 2.5 miles and I jumped on the trampoline for 20 minutes. I ate on plan and even discovered that I liked edemame. Who ever knew such a thing existed!

What are you doing to stay healthy?

Please share your secrets!

Go Tarheels! (watching the national championship right now)

Love,

Melissa

Here I Go Again...

2009-04-03T21:36:00.003-04:00

Yes again, here I go. I'm reading yet another book on weight loss and health. This time, I've chosen "YOU on a Diet" by Drs Michael Roizen and Mehmet Oz.

If you know anything about me at all, you know I've tried every diet around. Weight Watchers, Atkins, LA Weightloss, Calorie counting, Fat gram counting, NutriSystem, South Beach, Fasting, Skipping Meals, Dexatrim, Self Magazine Diet, etc etc etc....I know there are more I'm just not thinking of. All of my adult life, I've been on one diet after another. Various exercise programs as well.

I've talked with friends about diets. We've prayed about them. We talk at work about them. We talk at home about them. The great thing is...they work! Yes, I've lost weight on all of these diets. The bad thing is...I've gained weight back after these diets. I know it is my life style that needs to change. I know what it takes. And I know that I have failed many times over resulting in negative feelings about myself. And each time I gain the weight back, I just beat myself up worse each time. This last time especially. Let me tell you about it.

I went to LA Weightloss 2 and 1/2 years ago. I lost 20 pounds, going from a Size 12 to a Size 8. It was a great program, very realistic, real food, and reasonable maintenance program. They even hung a before and after picture of me in the lobby. I swore I would never look my "after" picture again ever. Life happened and I fell. Today I would love to look like my "after" picture. I am 10 pounds above it now. How did this happen? What was I thinking? Life got real hard, it really did. But why did I turn to food? Was I punishing myself? Was I not thinking? I know better. I love the Lord. Yes, yes, that's all true, but I'm also human. And it's ok. Don't give up. Never give up. Hope is powerful and I have it.

So, I bought a new book. This time, not one with a specific plan, but filled with knowledge about what I'm doing to my body and how I need to treat it for good health. According to the authors, this book was written for people like me....glad to know there are others who have my same patterns! I'm not alone.

I'm spending this weekend reading and educating myself. Getting the plan and pantry in order so I'm ready on Sunday for the week. I'm taking the doctors' advice on food and exercise. And I'm set on focusing less on me and more on my health. Not weighing on the scales but measuring my waist. Not running marathons, but walking 30 minutes everyday, no matter what.

Will this be "it" for me? Idk. But I'm going to try. Jesus wants me to try. He says with God everything is possible and I'm believing that. I haven't been feeling well. I'm very tired. I'm stressed. I know my eating patterns have a lot to do with that. And my face is breaking out worse than a teenager. What I'm eating could be contributing to that too.

Both of my parents are in poor health. I don't want to go down the same path if I can do anything to help it. I quit smoking in my early 20's because it was bad for my health. Yet I'm 42 and still eating junk. Doesn't make sense.

I'd cherish your prayers. I'd cherish a partner as I begin my new journey too. If you are interested in joining me, let me know. Either way, I'll be writing about "ME on a Diet" and what I learn along the way.

Healthy Living Hugs,

Melissa

By Golly Girl, You Are Beautiful!!!!!!

2009-04-01T20:56:00.002-04:00

Ok ladies. This has been an extremely tough week for me. I won't go into all of it, but here's a bullet point run down:

*Great event on Saturday (that's a good thing)
*Left my Bible, had to turn around and go get it.
*Drove 4 1/2 hours in the pouring rain.
*Overslept for church Sunday morning.
*Voice of doubt plagued me on Sunday.
*Visit with Mom on Monday. More waiting from doctors.
*Devotion "No Condemnation" ran on Monday. Ironically condemnation filled my head all day.
*Out of sync on Tuesday. Cried much of the day.
*Jeff and I had words...misunderstood each other. We are all good now, but for a day we just couldn't connect. I was just taking everything the wrong way. Condemnation! Argh!
*Received so many emails...a few from women who were at my event on Saturday, a few from women who read my devotion, and a few that came through our prayer request line. My heart was broken. They were so sad, defeated, and down on themselves. I know how that feels. But BY GOLLY GIRLS, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Why why why do we do this to ourselves? Because the condemnation is not from God. It's not from our Creator and it is a waste of our time. And I think Satan is so pleased when he can get to us.

My pastor said recently, "The greater the level, the greater the devil." What he meant was the closer we are to God...the higher the peak (God high) we are on, the greater Satan will strive to tempt us away. It may be by getting us to focus on our appearance, size, marriage, kids, past, failures, weaknesses, flaws...in fact I know he gets to us by doing this. And for me, it often works.

Oh, sweet sister, don't go there. Surround yourself with all that God thinks you are. He made you. He has purpose for you. And no matter what anyone says about you or what you think of yourself, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are to be celebrated.

What are some Bible verses that remind you that you are important to God? Verses that let you know you are loved and treasured? Please share them with us.

Because, BY GOLLY GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

My Mom's New Website

2009-03-25T22:20:00.001-04:00

If you have the time or get the chance, go visit my Mama's CaringBridge website.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1

I'm visiting with her tonight. We are in our jammies watching American Idol :) And her pain is better! Praise God!

Love,

Melissa

2 days, 8.4 Miles, and my feet hurt!!!!!

2009-03-24T19:54:00.002-04:00

It's been so pretty outside lately, I've decided to take my workout outdoors. And I think Princess is happier than anyone. She loves walks. And for a 5 pound little fluff ball, she has amazed me! She had pep in her step the whole way! Me on the other hand, well that's a different story!

I've decided to challenge myself. I live in a very hilly neighborhood. I mean major hills. Major butt workage going on in these walks. Up and down. Up and down. A total of 4.2 miles. Yesterday was my first day. Funny, but my heart could take it fine. My legs were fine. I sang the whole way along with my iPod. But my feet. Oh my gosh. I don't know if it is my shoes (which I paid a lot of money for) or what, but my feet were killing me. However, I hit the pavement again today, day 2. Ooh, I love the way my buns feel climbing those hills. I could feel them gaining definition as I walked up up up. But oh my feet. I even put orthotics in my shoes and wore 2 pairs of socks today. They still hurt.

Is it because of my weight? Do I need new shoes? Any insight? Let me know, because I love my new routine, but I don't my feet to ache. The balls of my feet are killing me. I have blisters. Help!!!!

I'm taking a break tomorrow. I'm going to visit my mom. I may take her dog, Maggie, for a stroll, but nothing extreme. Thank you for continuing to pray for my mom. You just don't know how much I appreciate it.

Are you exercising? What are you doing? Do you have any help for my aching feet?

With feet elevated, I sign off tonight. Love to all who read this.

Love,

Melissa

Still Playing the Same Ole Games

2009-03-18T21:26:00.002-04:00

Y'all know how I feel about what real beauty is. All my life I've struggled with weight and "feeling" that I looked good enough. Oh my, if you only knew all the diets I had been on. You name it, I've been on it. And everytime I think I have it beat, it gets me again.

Weight and weight loss continues to plague me. I know my identity is in Christ. So why do I continue to struggle with my weight and appearance? I wish I didn't.

Last year, I gained between 30 and 40 pounds. So let's say 35 as an average. And I've been trying with effort to lose it. Diets, exercise.....but not much luck. Possibly I haven't been consistent. Possibly I haven't done all I knew to do to. Or maybe there's a medical problem. Or maybe I just eat too much and exercise too little. Idk. Probably that last sentence.

Even though I think I've learned my lessons. And even though when I lose weight, I always think it's the last and final time, here I go again, making the same mistakes, going through the same things yet again. The cycle repeats itself. But hey, I know I'm still beautiful....no matter what!

Here I am. Still playing the same ole games. Wishing there was a magic pill, potion, or solution to my problems.

But one thing I can say, I have never given up. My husband encourages me. He tells me I'm beautiful and hot....lol! Samantha at work tells me that weight loss is just around the corner. Denise tells me not to give up. Donna asks me if my clothes feel better. And I keep telling myself, "I will lose weight and I will look better and I will feel better."

Why do we women continue to beat ourselves up and why do we care how we look? Why do we care what others think?

At the moment, I'm not going to try to answer this. As much as I wish I was beyond this, I'm not. Just this morning I was whining to my husband about how I haven't lost weight and how my clothes don't fit. Usually, I have wisdom to offer, but today I'm just venting. It makes me sad that I'm not beyond the desire and I care so much about the number on a scale. But also, do know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am not defined by a number on a scale, or a size, or whether clothes fit or not.

Do you play the same ole games? Like me?

Just wonderin'?

Good Night. It's late and I need to rest. Just watched American Idol....wasn't Brad Paisley just awesome????? Nevermind that. Good night!

Love,

Melissa

In the Weight Room (Wait Room)

2009-03-16T21:25:00.002-04:00

Today was the first day in months that I actually decided to add weights to my workout routine. And I use the word "routine" lightly! Lately my routine has been real good one week, then not at all the next. "Life" has interfered more times than I counted on. I don't know about you, but when life interferes and knocks me off my schedule, I have a hard time getting back to it. If you've read my blog at all, you know that my mom's cancer has definitely brought a new dimension to my life that I wasn't counting on and wish would go away. Nevertheless, it is here. I need to be able to function regardless.

I entered the weight room today. By that, I don't mean a gym full of weights. I mean my den with my hand weights: 3, 5, 8, 10, and 12 pounds. First I walked with my good friend Leslie Sansone :) oh my she's more happy than I am at 5:30 am! Then I did a weight routine: bicep curls, tricep dips, up right rows, flies, and those others....that I don't know the names for. Needless to say, I am sore tonight! It's been such a long time since I've done weights and my muscles know it!

I also entered the wait room today. My muscles hate this room too. I don't know what tomorrow holds and I wish I did. Even though there doesn't seem to be a workout to adequately prepare me for this room, there is Someone Who can train me to get through this work out. My spiritual muscles get worked out here by Him. I can't prepare for it, but I can trust. It's not easy and has taken practice, but at age 42, I've learned that when I trust Him in the wait room, I can get through it.

If you've walked through cancer with someone, or any other disease or illness, you know what it's like in the wait room. I'm there with my mom now. I have to be honest. I don't like what the doctors have told us lately. But I trust the Great Physician. I trust God.

Hopefully my muscles will sharpen and my fat will lessen. And hopefully my trust will sharpen and my doubt will lessen.

Have you entered the weight room? Have you entered the wait room?

Please share if you have. Either of them. We need workouts in both rooms, the physical and spiritual.

Blessings,

Melissa

Wanna See Beautiful?

2009-03-11T18:56:00.005-04:00

The lady on the right....she is beautiful. I've known her longer than I've known anyone else in my whole life. She's my mother.

If you've kept up with my blog...this one or the other one (http://www.melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/) you know my mom has cancer and lately she hasn't been feeling well. It's been so hard to watch her go through so much pain, but so inspiring to see her stand strong and keep hope and faith. I just love her so much. She's 62, I'm 42, and I just need her. She's the only person ever who's always been on my side. She's my #1 ally.

I'm staying with her for a few days. Her sweet hubby needed a little break and I really wanted to spend some time with her, so here I am. And I think she is so beautiful!

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Plateaus and Heartbreakers....that's life

2009-03-04T22:15:00.003-05:00

You know. I've had a weight problem my whole life. I really have. I am educated. I know better. I know what causes weight gain and weight loss. I know about Jesus. I know I can trust Him to help me, but too often I try to take matters in my own hands. That's how it's been with my weight.

And My weight goes up. My weight goes down. I feel rotten when it's up. I feel better when it's down. I usually think that I have it all under control when it's down. "I will never gain the weight back" I say. One year and 40 pounds later....

My clothes don't fit!!!!! And that seems pretty horrible. Until I weigh it with the fact that my mother is dying of cancer. Then all of a sudden the clothes not fitting doesn't seem all that bad.

Isn't that just life? All of our problems may seem big to us. And they are. But then something else hits us that reminds us of what is really important.

Don't get me wrong. Gaining 40 pounds in one year isn't healthy or a good thing. At least not for me it wasn't. And it demands attention. For my health, I need to lose weight. And praise God I am. In fact, I broke a plateau this week....one that has haunted me for over a month!

But in the same week, I found out my mom's cancer is progressing. That makes me want to curse, scream, and hit someone! She's only 62. That's young, right? My husband has both of his grandmothers living....I can't be losing my mother. Please, no.

I'm not sure what the point of this blog is, except maybe to remind us that life is a gift. To waste it on a number on the scales or worrying over a jean size is just stupid! To waste it over a past mistake or sin is stupid too. God is loving and forgiving. We are created for wonderful things.

So, I broke a plateau and my heart was broken all in the same week. That is life.....I guess. I'm so glad and thankful that the Lord is there for me in the big and small. He cares about the plateaus and he cares about my heart and my family. And He takes equal consideration to both. He made me and cares about each and every part of me.

That's all I have to say tonight.

Beautiful Blessings...count them today,

Melissa

Beee-Yoooo-Tifff-Fullllll

2009-02-19T20:07:00.003-05:00

Yep, that's how I'm feeling today. I may not look it. And no one may agree. But I feel it. And that makes me happy because it's been a long time since I really felt this good.

I haven't lost a bunch of weight. I probably don't look much different. But, I feel so good, so healthy, so happy. My mom still has cancer. My life is still chaotic. I still have loads of laundry to fold. We still are financially hurting. But, I feel better than I've felt in a quite a while.

For the last month, I've decided to not worry so much about what I weigh. Yes, I'd like to lose 30, but I asked myself, "what if that never happens?" And so I decided to just bless myself. With good health, quality time with those I love, and exercise that I enjoy.

I feel good. Better than I've felt in a really long time. Oddly enough, I am exercising almost every day...4-6 miles a day, 6 days a week. I'm eating 5 small snacks/meals a day and then a small supper. 1 multi-vitamin, my lexapro, and 8 cups of water. And a few diet colas. (I say diet cola because the "cola" is cheaper that "coke". And it tastes just as good.) The caffeine free diet cola is my treat every night.

My relationships are also in order. (for the moment) I've been working super hard on my marriage. One way I've done this is by taking "the Love Dare". It's changed me. That's all I'll say for now. I'll be writing more about "The Love Dare" later.

Do you feel beautiful? You know feelings are fickle. For so long I did not feel beautiful. And I believed my feelings. Feelings are not who you are. I know that now.

God made you. He has great plans for you. He doesn't want us to waste our time on "feelings". We are blessed. In the words of my grandpa....."hunney, you are beee yooo tifff fullll!"

Blessings Beautiful Friends,

Melissa

Going Down...but not fast enough

2009-02-10T22:00:00.003-05:00

Who gains 30+ pounds in a year???

Why would someone gain 30 pounds in a year?

Must have significant problems, right? Must be so undisciplined for sure. Must be a pig.

Well, I gained 30 pounds in a year. And although I can't believe it happened, I know I'm none of the above.....well, a little undisciplined maybe.

It's the one thing I've continued to struggle with my whole life. My weight. I know the right answers. I don't think I can learn anything new about exercise or nutrition. However it remains a struggle. I say this jokingly, but it's true in many ways....I'm either fit or fat, and still looking for the happy medium.

Once again, I'm going down. It's not happening as fast as I'd like it to, but I'm going down. I even have a high school reunion in 2 months. Yikes!

The greatest thing about being me is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am beautiful. Whether I weigh 135 (which I wish!) or 165 (which I am), I am beautiful. God made me. God loves me. I am worthy. I am whole. I am a beautiful child of the almighty king. I am loved. I am wonderfully made. I am also very human. I am flawed. I require forgiveness daily. I get many things wrong. I get a lot right too. I have failed. I have succeeded. I don't give up without a fight. I am able.

I am able to keep fighting, keep strong...because I don't quit. Sure I wish I'd lose weight faster....who doesn't? But I am not defined by a number on the scale or the size of my pants. I may wish they were smaller, but it's a minor issue.

Love who you are. You are beautiful. No matter what your shape, size, or weight.

Don't you just love to say this....."I am beautiful!" So say it.

Be Blessed,

Melissa

A Change of Heart

2009-02-04T22:58:00.002-05:00

Hey Beautiful Girls! How are ya? I can't believe it's the first post in 2009! I honestly thought I was retiring this blog. But I just couldn't do it.

I've been struggling with the whole weight, appearance, beauty thing for my whole life. I know what's true and then my fickle feelings step in. This blog honestly was helping me more than I think it could ever help anyone else. Since I haven't written in so long, I've realized how much I've missed it. I know I'm beautiful, but I need reminded of it too. I'm beautiful not because of what I weigh or how I look, but because I am filled with the love of Christ. I am a child of God. That makes me beautiful. God made me. He made you. We are beautiful.

Here we are, February 4, 2009. It snowed in Charlotte today. Not a lot, but enough to catch us off guard and the kids to stay home from school. I continue to strive for good health. And it's paying off. I feel good. I have more energy. I have a positive attitude. I am beautiful :)

I look forward to writing again. I haven't been writing at all. I was just kind of blank for a while.

It's time for bed now. The basketball game I was watching is over. The team I was pulling for lost.

Good Night and Sweet Dreams.
Love,

Melissa

The Beauty Within

2008-12-12T22:21:00.001-05:00

Today, the kids and I went to visit my mom. We went with her to a salon where she got her head shaved. (deep breath)

It really hit me hard watching her have all of her hair cut off. That is such a visual. A visual I will have in my mind forever. At first she had tears. But they were brief. I think she's being strong for me. And I was being strong for my kids. I could've cried easily.I told my mom today, "thank goodness you have such a pretty face!" And she does. I was so taken aback at how pretty she was with very little hair. I'm so proud of her.

Beauty really is held within. Too often I focus on my weight or some other outward appearance. But if your heart is bitter and ugly then there is no way for beauty to shine through. But if what is within is beautiful, then there is no outward appearance that can prevent it from shining through. My mother's beauty shines bright.Have a wonderful weekend.

Blessings,

Melissa

I Am Brunette!

2008-12-11T21:01:00.002-05:00

I was in need of a change. Something new. Something to get excited about.

As you know I haven't been blogging much. Life has thrown it's curve balls and blogging has taken a back seat. The teen blog I started in August is more or less nonexistent. I keep going back and forth between this blog and my other one, www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com. I'm contemplating merging the 2. I don't know how that will work, but I'm praying about it. I guess I've bitten off more than I can chew.

My mom and I went wig shopping on Monday. Have I told you how beautiful she is? Her strength and dignity amazes me. She found a wig she likes and she indeed does look beautiful. She had her 2nd chemo treatment today. And tomorrow me and the kids are going with her...to the salon. She's getting her head buzzed/shaved. Her hair has been falling in clumps for 2 weeks. That has been so hard to watch. Everytime I see her pull out her hair, it just kills me. I am reminded that God knows every hair on our head...even the ones that fall out. And that reminds me that God is watching over my mom. He knows her every day and is with her.

My natural tendancy is to be blue and dwell on what I cannot change. I have to really fight and be intentional on believing God and trusting Him to take care of things. I read scriptures and promises from the Lord and I believe them. But I still "feel" sad and forgotten.

It's been 4 months since I got my hair cut. Now what that means is that it's also been 4 months since my roots have been done! Seriously, my hair looked like 2 totally different colors. So I decided to go for a change. This was a major change for me. I've been blonde for 7 years. My husband thought I'd look good blonde, so that's what I did. Well, I was feeling the need for a change. I got approval all around, except from my husband....My co workers thought my hair would be great brown, my friends thought I should do what makes me happy. My husband would not express his opinion. He just said, "I want you to be happy."

Well, I went. And I made a big change. I am now a brunette. Not blonde. And I've already learned that blondes do NOT have more fun! But I like it. A lot.

Thank you for your prayers. I love you and think you are so beautiful!
Love,

Melissa

An Amazingly Beautiful Girl

2008-12-04T20:09:00.004-05:00

If I get through this post without bawling, it will be an all out miracle. I feel sad and blessed all at the same time. Grief stricken and rejoicing all at the same time. Happy for my sweet friends in Atlanta and devasted for my sweet friends in Atlanta all at the same time. Allow me to explain.

I went to college (Appalachian State University) with Robin and Chris. They were sweethearts then and are still sweethearts now. This week, they said goodbye to their oldest daughter, Alexa. She was only 11 years old.

Alexa was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when she was only 1. For most of her life she has faced more struggle and trial than most people face in 80 years of life. Here is what her obituary read:

Alexa Grace Rohrbach, age 11, died Friday, November 28, 2008. She was a beloved daughter, proud big sister, beautiful granddaughter, dear niece, loving cousin and great friend. The world lost a brave little girl who touched many hearts. Here spirit was unmatchable and her precious smile contagious. She accepted all challenges that life threw at her and did so with unbelievable strength and heroic grace. God used her here on earth to touch the lives of people everywhere. She did so much in her short lived life. Her face constantly contained a smile with the most beautiful bright eyes, long gorgeous lashes and adorable sweet cheeks.

She battled cancer at the age of one, then had to live with all the complications from treatment including pulmonary fibrosis, scoliosis, halo traction, spinal fusion surgery, and most recently a tracheotomy and was placed on a ventilator. For years doctors, nurses and other medical staff commented that they had never seen a better patient than Alexa. She has been the face of hope for many. With faith in Jesus, fierce determination, a positive attitude and smile that would light up a room, sweet kind-hearted Alexa had fought the good fight for 10 years. Alexa still had fight in her, but her precious little body did not.

Alexa was the daughter of Chris and Robin Rohrbach and sister of Jenna from Acworth, GA. She was also the granddaughter of Alice and the late John Rohrbach and Robert and Jean Thoem, all from Marietta, GA.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexarohrbach

Her funeral was Wednesday. It was the most amazing worship and celebration. This child was so joyful and left such a legacy. She loved Jesus and He is the reason for the joy posessed while here on this earth. Her 7 yr old sister wrote a song about her and sang it at the funeral. Both of her parents spoke at her funeral. Her life was celebrated. The service ended with the song, "I'm Trading My Sorrow". Just amazing.

So Alexa Grace, you my sweet sister in Christ, up in Heaven, inspired me more than you will ever know. I want to be like you when I grow up! Your challenge to "find something to be thankful for everyday and never give up" will be something I strive to do daily for the rest of my life.

And to my friend, Robin. If you ever read this, just know, I love you so much and I can't wait to spend more time with you in the coming year. You are so beautiful. Just like your amazingly beautiful girls.

Love to All,

Melissa

Joyful in all things

2008-11-28T15:47:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I wrote about my Thanksgiving Day and how disappointed I was that my mom didn't feel well enough to make it. She didn't come but she sent her specialty food items so we wouldn't be without them. It made me so sad, but at the same time it made me so thankful.

God says we are to be joyful in all things. That is tough, especially when you don't understand why things happen the way they do. But God also wants us to trust Him even when we don't understand...especially when we don't understand.

Today I received the saddest news I think I could have ever received. The daughter of one of my friends died last night. She was only 12 years old. Her life has been a series of trials, battles, and uncertainties. This little girl, however, did not lose her joy. She was absolutely amazing. I want to be like her when I grow up! Her name is Alexa. Alexa Rohrbach. Please pray for her family. It's going to be very hard for them. When I think of "joy in all things", I think of Alexa. The Source of joy, peace, comfort, and love brought her home to be with Him. She is totally healed...walking, running even, singing, and dancing with the King of Kings. That's the one thing that brings me joy in all of this. I know her parents, Robin and Chris...and her sister, Jenna feel that way too. The Lord has carried them every day and I know He won't stop now. I know they are happy that Alexa is with the Lord, but I also know their hearts are shattered and their lives feel incomplete right now. I cannot even imagine.

Are you able to be joyful in all things? Not because you are happy with your life, but just because you trust God? That is my personal goal right now. To trust God with the plans and find joy in all things....and give thanks for it.

Hug the ones you are with today. Share your love and find the joy.

Love,

Melissa

Beautiful in November

2008-11-28T00:03:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe that it is already the end of November!!!! Where is 2008 going so quickly???? IDK. Ha! My kids would be so proud.....

I have been previewing 2 books for Proverbs 31. When we consider selling a book, we preview it first. The last 2 I've read have been really good. I think the reason LeAnn, my amazing boss, gave them to me to preview was because she knows how I feel so strong about a woman's inner beauty. These books were based on just that. They were very good and I hope to tell you more about them in the near future. But even more so, I want to communicate how beautiful we ALL are to God.

I've been quite vocal about the weight gain I've had this year. I have no one to blame but me. My weight has gone up. My clothes are tight. My appearance is not what I'd like it to be. But my God thinks I'm beautiful this November. My Father loves me just the way I am today. November, 2008. Beautiful.

Doesn't that just warm your heart? Doesn't that just make you feel amazing? It should. No matter what you feel like. No matter what others think of you. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. And we have much to be thankful for.

The most beautiful woman in the world to me right now is my mom. She could not make it to my house for Thanksgiving because she was not feeling well today. She began chemotherapy last week and it took it's toll on her this week. Physically she is feeling quite crappy. I would have been okay if she would have taken the past 3 days off and just focused on herself. But she didn't.

Mom's dressing/stuffing is the best! Her macaroni and cheese is the best. And we were ALL looking forward to her cooking...especially since her cancer diagnosis has left us wondering what the next year will bring. She was not able to make it today. And that made me so very sad. But her cooking did make it. And that made me sad too.

Mom, you amaze me. Even though you did not feel like cooking, you did. Even though you would rather have stayed in bed, you didn't. Your love for your children, grandchildren, and family surpasses anything I've seen. You prepared and cooked and served your family, yet you stayed home. I love you so much. You are so beautiful. I pray I become just like you. The Lord blessed me with such a wonderful mother.

Happy Thanksgiving! If you are reading this, I pray you experienced true beauty today. Because you are beautiful No matter what the day, what the weight, what the thoughts. God has plans for you. They are good. We are made in His image. How cool is that? Pretty darn cool if you ask me!

On these last few days of November, believe in yourself, will you? Believe what God believes about you. You are amazing. You are the apple of His eye. And you are beautiful.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all of my blessings, especially the people in my life....both in person and in cyber space....Love you!

Love,

Melissa

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T22:24:00.003-05:00

I may not show it. In fact, way too often, I don't. But let me just say,I'm very thankful for my family, friends, and also the people who let me know they even noticed I hadn't blogged in a while. That was just too nice! Amy Brooke even said she was taking out a "missing persons report in bloggy land"!

I just haven't been myself lately. I've been trying to be really intentional about my time and my priorities. And that's been hard. I love to blog. And I've missed it. I keep saying I am getting back to it. But my family, specifically my mom, has taken first place. I will intend to blog, but all of a sudden it's late at night and I need to go to bed. Anyway, not to make excuses, but I do miss blogging. I'm in a new phase of life right now. Experiencing what I've never gone through before.

My husband...his name is Jeff. Oh, how I thank and praise God for him. He has so been there for me. He's given me extra hugs and text messages when I needed them. I've been insecure and he has been in my corner cheering me on. I love him so much.

I am not running the half marathon. It makes me so sad. I've been training. But my mom started chemo and she's not feeling well. Plus, we really are in a finance crunch and the trip to Charleston to run the race is more than we need to spend. So, I withdrew. I still plan to train for a half marathon. I will keep doing what I'm doing. But I'm not "officially" running. So, I'm dealing with the fact that in a way I'm failing. Not really, but kind of.

I began this blog encouraging others to believe they are beautiful. And I want to keep doing that. I believe we are ALL SO BEAUTIFUL...just because God made us. And I hope to get back to that soon.

If you are reading this, I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving! On this American holiday, I am counting my blessings. And there are so many.......

With Love,

Melissa

God is the best!

2008-11-05T23:00:00.002-05:00

Yes, He is! And if we ever forget that, well we need serious brain surgery!!!!

I get scared easily. I lose my confidence with a quick negative remark about me. I can feel inadequate, unworthy, or unqualified real quick. It doesn't take much. But God is so good. He is the best.

He has shown me that all He requires is that I just be me. He made me. He created me. And He needed me here on this Earth. If He didn't need me, He wouldn't have bothered with making me in the first place.

I was so nervous about writing an article for the P31 Woman Magazine on depression and anxiety. I was worried about what people would think of me. Would they consider me qualified to be in ministry after admitting my struggles? Me qualified? Maybe not! God equipping me? Definitely so!

God has been so good to me, just the best. I have received countless emails about my article. I have received letters from women who suffer from depression and people who walk along side of those suffering from depression. Many with a similar story, they felt like failures and wanted to keep hidden the shame of their disease. My heart rejoices that Jesus sets us free!

God has never made a mistake. That means you are here for a reason and God has plans for your life! Now, that's beautiful!

I love you. I really do. And I pray that you are seeking the Lord with all your heart and asking Him what His plans are for you. You are an amazing child of God. Be blessed sweet sista!

Love,

Melissa

I support the President

2008-11-04T23:23:00.002-05:00

I am not going to tell you who I voted for. I don't think it matters at this point. But I believe, with all my heart, if you want to be beautiful in America, you need to support our leader. It doesn't mean you voted for him. It doesn't mean you agree with everything he does. But it does mean that you pray for him and continue to pray for him. Lift him up to God and trust God with His provision for our country.

So, Barack Obama, you have my prayers. I will be praying for you and your family and your leadership over our country. God chose you long ago. And I trust God.

Be Blessed,

Melissa

I Kissed A Girl

2008-10-30T06:00:00.004-04:00

Welcome...and no, I didn't really kiss a girl! I just wanted to get your attention. That is actually the title of a very popular song by Katy Perry. Yes, the main lyrics state, "I kissed a girl and I liked it." Katy is a girl and her song is all about her "girl kiss".

If you are stopping in for a visit after reading my devotion today from Proverbs 31 Ministries,
I'm glad you did. Please feel free to comment, read past posts, and come back to visit any time. This blog is written for the glory of God and by sharing my life struggles with honesty, I pray that someone else is impacted, even if it's in the smallest way.

So, back to the title here "I Kissed A Girl". That was the title I originally gave the devotion just because I wanted to grab the reader's attention. Wisely, our editors thought it would be a bit much to run a devotion with that title, so we changed it. There were other things that we edited out for the sake of space and respect, but on this blog I'm going to just tell it like it is. I almost didn't write this devotion because I was afraid it might cross the line a bit and offend some people. Oh did God ever speak to me about that!!!! Basically, I knew in my heart and mind that God would want me to cross the line and if it offended anyone, so be it. I feel with all my heart that we need to discuss and be aware of what is in our pop culture today. Then we can decide how to deal with it, confront it, or make peace with it. This is all my opinion and I have prayed about my words before I wrote them.

I love music and now that I'm older I do listen to the lyrics much more than I used to. In fact that is usually what draws me into a song or pushes me away from one. I remember when I was a teenager... I might have known all the lyrics to a song, but I didn't really think about what they meant. I thought they were harmless. I can't believe I used to sing aloud "Like A Virgin" by Madonna and never really paused to think of what the song was about. Like most my age, I loved music and Mtv. My boys tell me today that they could care less about the words of a song, they like a song if the guitar and drum parts are cool. With all that said, I know music is a big influence whether we are aware of it or not. This song by Katy Perry is just one of many that I could make an issue of today.

Actually, it makes me more sad than mad. Sad that girls today are being enticed...yes enticed, encouraged, and even persuaded to bump and grind on the dance floor with each other. They are kissing each other, flirting with each other. Calling each other pet names. And it has nothing to do with being gay. That's a completely different topic. Guys are encouraging girls to "get it on" because it turns them on and they like it. And girls are doing it. It's "an art". It's "nothing serious, just for fun", they say. It's happening at parties, and out at various establishments. I have seen it first hand once or twice myself and I couldn't believe my eyes. One time it was at a birthday party. I was having dinner with a friend and a party of young women came in and were all over each other. The other time was at a restaurant with a dance floor. All I could think was, "if their mommas and daddies could see them right now...." It broke my heart.

Now first and foremost, I'm not writing about this to open a can of worms about how low society has gone and how if parents raised their kids better this wouldn't be happening. I'm just telling you it's out there. Be on guard, be aware, and talk to your kids if you have them. We need to know what's going on in our world. We may do our best to keep away from things like this and to protect our children, but we have to be real. It's out there. This and a whole lot more. You can talk to them or someone else can. Or they can learn for themselves. I don't know about you, but I want to be the one to talk to my kids first. And talk openly. Ask me questions and anything goes, we can talk about it. I want to hopefully teach them to also filter their thoughts and questions through God. Look at their friends and people they are around as creations of the Lord to be respected. To gain approval from Him, not the in crowd.

Truly this all comes down to lack of confidence in one's self. Fitting in. Being noticed. Paid attention to. "Sweet beautiful girl" I want to say, "Don't you know you are beautiful just the way you are?" (which happens to be the title of Kellie Pickler's new song...I love it!). "Don't you know that doing all these things won't make you feel better, you'll still go home empty? Don't give into ways of the world no matter how popular it is. Feed your body and mind with something of lasting value. Only Jesus can do that."

Beautiful Blessings to Each of You,

Melissa

Freedom to Heal

2008-10-28T22:02:00.003-04:00

I've been writing devotions for years now. They've been published online and in the book, God's Purpose for Every Woman. I love to write for pleasure, like in a journal, blog, email, or Facebook. And now, for the first time, I have my writing in a magazine....The P31 Woman. My picture is on the cover and there's a picture of my family inside.

The November issue is out and I chose to write about a tough subject. The title of the ariticle is "Freedom to Heal". It is about my journey from emotional turmoil to peace. I am so excited about this article. First of all, I hope it will in some way help others who struggle with anxiety and depression. I also hope it will help those who struggle with guilt from being on medication. And maybe most importantly, I'm excited about this article because it is my story. I had perfected the mask I wore hiding a very frustrated and insecure woman. Now it's off and I'm ok with who I am. And not afraid to admit that "yes, I have anxiety issues, I have been depressed, and I needed help." If you'd like to read about it, check out the November issue of the P31 Woman. (Proverbs 31, 704-849-2270) Or if you have a comment to share about the article or your own story, I would love to hear from you either here on my blog or by emailing me at Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org.

I want to thank 3 people who contributed in a great way to this article. Amy Brooke (who also has an article in this issue), Joy Brown, and Samantha Reed. You all know what you did, but also just your sweet friendship and faith in me was a big boost. Thank you so much.

Above all, I give all thanks and credit to God. He has given purpose to my pain and provided healing to my soul. He gave me the confidence to write about my insecurities and I pray He will use it all for His glory and purpose.I have to admit, I was so nervous about writing this article. It's not easy to admit that you have suffered with emotional or mental issues. But I'm glad I did it.If you get the chance to read it, let me know what you think.

Blessings,

Melissa

Beautiful Women and Beautiful Girls

2008-10-26T23:16:00.003-04:00

I had the blessing of traveling to Kinston, NC this weekend. I went because God brought me there. I had two events that I was speaking at. I went there with the intent on bringing Good News and hope. God is so good, and I left Kinston feeling like I had received Good News and hope.

For almost a month, I have been dealing with the news that my mom could be dying. I have days when I'm fine. And I know that only God knows the number of our days. My mom could be around for years to come. Some days I just enjoy the blessings and make the most of them. Then other days, I am down. I cry. I can't imagine living without my mom. But then I went to Kinston.

I met so many sweet, beautiful, and amazing women and girls. And as I shared how Jesus is the answer to life's problems, I began to feel it myself. I was filled with thanksgiving.

Thanks that:

My mom has been here for me for ALL of my 41 years of life.

I have never been hungry.

I have never been abandonded.

My husband loves me.

My roof has never leaked.

My parents have never been in jail.

I was able to go to college.

Someone believed in me.

When I needed help, I asked for it and received it.

I found Jesus and learned to trust Him.

I believe that I'm beautiful.
Also, that I got to travel with an amazing woman of God and my friend, Lynn Cowell. We had over 11 hours in a car together and roomed together and she was my partner in ministry this weekend. Thank you God! Having her with me was a great blessing!!!!!!!!

Friday night, I met some great women from Greenville, NC. They were so very friendly and inviting. They were the women of Grace Church. They showed up on a very rainy Friday night. We talked about God, marriage, children, home, finances, friends, and community service. It was such a blessing getting to know them and awesome to share and swap stories.

Saturday, Lynn and I both had the opportunity to meet and minister to almost 70 teenage girls. These girls came from backgrounds that I truly can't relate to. We were speaking at The Gate community center in Kinston, NC. Wow! What an amazing facility devoted to God and transforming the next generation. Selfishly, I was very nervous. This was my first teen event. It was way out of my comfort zone. I chose to trust God though, and I choose to trust that He was in control and seeds were planted in these girl's lives. Lynn was amazing and right at home. I am so grateful to her for giving up her weekend to accompany me on this weekend. My ultimate prayer is that all of those we came in contact with realized that they are truly Beautiful. Beautiful women and Beautiful girls.

I have been absent from the blogging world lately. (see www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com) but I've had my reasons. And I'm hopeful to post a little more a little more often :) :) :)

Thanks be to God! You are beautiful. I am beautiful. And God made us all. He has a plan for our lives, He knows the number of our days, and I hope that we will make each one count!

It's late and I need to go.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Desire

2008-10-05T22:21:00.003-04:00

First, I want to say "THANK YOU" for the prayers, thoughts, and words of love that have been sent my way.

Yes, I received some news last week that I wish I hadn't about my mom, but I know that most of you are no different. We all have tough times and we have to get through them. How we do that is up to us.

We can't depend on outside influences to get us through. We can't depend on our appearance, social upbringing or class, finances, friends, or ever family. All of these can and will let us down. When times get tough, all we can totally depend on is God. And boy am I ever thankful for that!!!!

Over the past few weeks, I've been reading a lot. I picked up a book in our office resource room because I was looking to escape from real life. I picked up Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Wow!!!! What an amazing book! What an amazing story of God's true unconditional and unfailing and forgiving love. I didn't want it to end. And I was so sad when it did. I was left wanting more. I loved it because it had few racy moments :) but it was also filled with values and true relationships and an overall theme that God reigns. He is there. He is in control and can bring good out of any situation.

I hadn't read fiction in 15 years at least. And I admit....I'm kind of sad to say this....but I really thought Christian fiction would be boring. I'm sorry. But I did. Well, I was wrong. It was not boring. After Redeeming Love, I wanted to keep reading. I went back to our resource room and picked up Redemption by Karen Kingsbury. At first I didn't think I liked it as much. But I was wrong again! After about 50 pages, I couldn't put it down. Fortunately, this was the first book in a series of 5 books about the Baxter family. I'm in the middle of the 3rd one now and I have already bought the last 2. I bet I'll be done with them in another week! I read them at stop lights. While dinner is cooking. When I go potty :) On a break. I love reading for pleasure again!!!!

Not only have these books brought me pleasure and given me a healthy escape from my world, but I promise you they have also encouraged me and inspired me to be a better wife, mom, family member, and friend. I promise you. The values in these books are being woven into me. They have actually made me desire good. Desire to please those around me. Desire to be more like Christ. Desire.

Once upon a time, what I desired most was to be beautiful. I wanted others to desire me. I've learned that's not a sign of beauty at all. Now what I desire is to please God. And when others look at me, I hope they don't want to be like me, but they want what I have. And that's a peace and contentment that comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If any part of me is beautiful, that's it. The rest keeps struggling: up and down on the scales....up and down in her moods.....in and out of depression.....filled with life's disappointments....and continually learning that she needs God more than ever. In fact, this girl has learned that she desires Him.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Life Isn't Easy...

2008-10-02T22:39:00.000-04:00

But it is truly a gift. And you never know what each day will bring.

I've spent a lot of time over the past few days in the hospital with my mom. Here's what we know so far:

She has cancer. It's in an advanced stage. The doctors are not sure if it's actually lung cancer but it is cancer in her lungs. Possibly there by spreading through her bloodstream. So, there are further tests to be done. My mom is home now. My sister is flying in from Texas tomorrow. And we wait. Monday Mom has an appointment with her oncologist and we will get more information about what stage the cancer is in and what the plan is for treatment.

What do you do when you are waiting for something as life changing as the prognosis and plan for your mother's life? Well, at the Taylor house, we celebrate. We celebrate each other.

Family time. Watching football. Spending time just loving and laughing. Being grateful. Appreciating the gift of life the Lord has given us. What else can we do?

My mom, Becky, is a beautiful woman. She is strong. She raised my sister and I by herself for the most part. She's always been there for me. I can't imagine my life without her.

Life isn't easy. But we are never promised that it would be. In fact, I think that much of life's difficulties are presented in our lives to make us realize that we need to be dependent on God. I know that my relationship with the Lord has grown many times as a result of trials.

Isaiah 45:3- "I have given you treasures in the darkness, riches stored in secret places. So that you will know that I am the Lord. The God of Israel, who calls you by name."

I claim this verse. Yes, there are treasures in the darkness. Have you had dark times in your life where God has revealed a treasure there for you? Sometimes we need to go through those dark times. Otherwise, we would not realize our need for God. That has definitely been the case for me.

My mom believes. She believes in God and Jesus is her Savior. I am praying for her daily walk to be grounded and to walk in peace and comfort. I pray she would know that God is with her no matter what and that He has an amazing plan for her life. I want her to know what a great difference she's made in the lives of those around her. Especially me!

Thank you friends for being supportive and for being there for me. I love you. You just don't know. I love you. You are so beautiful!

Blessings,

Melissa

"Hello Darlin'...."

2008-09-30T21:42:00.001-04:00

"It's been a long time."

Does anyone recognize that line? "Hello Darlin, it's been a long time" is from an old country tune by Conway Twitty. I don't really know why I chose this moment to share that, but it has "been a long time" since I've blogged. Since September 13th.

I have logged on to blogger.com many times. But when I would get to the screen to make a new post, my mind would just go blank. Dry. I have been crazy busy. Pushed to the max lately. And truly in the whole scheme of things, when I looked at my priorities, blogging was not at the top. My family has needed me. I traveled to Florida to speak at a women's retreat. My mom is in the hospital. The Proverbs 31 office has been very busy. Football games. Dance lessons. Conferences with teachers. My husband had a double root canal with a third to be done next week. A friend needed me. Much to do. I bet your life is not much different.

There has been so much that I've wanted to write about. But it just hasn't happened. I know many believe that if they don't blog every day, people will forget about them. That may be true. But I've had to trust God that He will provide and fill in the gaps. He is meant to be remembered, not me.

I will be posting soon about my Florida retreat. I had the amazing opportunity to spend a weekend at the Palm Island Resort near Venice, FL on the Gulf Coast. I went to share and minister to these beautiful ladies, but God is so good. These amazing ladies also shared and ministered to me. I can't wait to post my pictures from this awesome retreat. I'll post very soon, I promise!

On a closing note, could I ask you to please pray for my mom? She is in the hospital. The doctors are not sure what is wrong. There is fluid outside of her lungs and one of her lungs is deflated. She's had many tests and has more to follow. She's scared. Please just pray for her. She's only 63 yrs old. Thank you so much. Her name is Becky.

Blessings sweet friends. And thank you so much for those of you who have written to check on me. That means the world to me. You are a treasure in my life.

Much Love,

Melissa

Fun Friday :) Filled with Family :) And other stuff

2008-09-13T22:59:00.003-04:00

This has been a family filled fun weekend! My sister was here briefly. This is a treasure to me because I rarely see her. She lives in Dallas, TX and is only in Charlotte for her high school reunion. We see each other about once a year, maybe. It was so good to spend a little time with her. She even bought me a new pair of running shoes. But better than that, we got to talk uninterrupted. No kids. No husbands. No parents. Just us. I loved it. I'll have to share her story here sometime. It's amazing. I mean really amazing.

Friday night, we went to a high school football game. Our team won. yeah! Afterwards, we came home and watched "Overboard" on TV Land.

Saturday, Jeff and I slept in until 10 am! Sweet! When was the last time that happened??? IDK. And what did I do all day? Watch football ofcourse. Gamecocks lost. Stinky. But Hayden's team won. And now I'm watching USC whoop Ohio State. Ha!

Well, I haven't reported about counseling yet. But let me just say, I got my $90 worth. It was so validating and encouraging and confirming. I just really needed a little refresher. The guidance and wisdom coming from my counselor was exactly what I needed. She reminded me of what I already know but am struggling with in life right now. I honestly think everyone could benefit from a good Christian counselor. I know I have.

Well, beautiful friends, I pray that you are having a great weekend. Fun. Family. And other stuff.

Love,

Melissa

Y'all are the Sweetest!

2008-09-10T22:29:00.003-04:00

How can I not feel beautiful when I have sweet bloggy friends who comment and email me to make sure that I feel and know that I am beautiful???? My friends are so awesome. Thank you so much. Half of the beauty I posess is due to those who are in my life.

Yesterday, I posted about how I was feeling better. And that I'd made a counseling appointment. Well, I didn't mean to alarm anyone. I'm fine. I've just learned when I'm feeling overwhelmed with life that I'm not one who can just sit it out. I get anxious, depressed, and unsettled inside. I've learned when I need a little more help than regular life offers me. So, yes, I'm going to a counselor. And I've had many questions about it. I'll try to answer them here.

Yes, she is a Christian counselor. I've seen both a Christian and a regular (didn't know what she was) counselor. I'm choosing to go to a Christian counselor. I feel like she knows what is most important to me in life and can offer guidance based on that. This particular one was also mine and Jeff's marriage counselor. She knows the most about the situations and issues I currently face and therefore she is the best choice for me at this time.

How did I find a counselor? I asked around. Jeff and I had friends who had seen this counselor and they liked her. Plus there is a huge sign outside of a big church near by advertising for this counseling center. If you want a counselor, don't be too embarrassed to ask around. Ask your church. Ask your friends. Google what you want. Pray. I think the comments from my last post were all very positive about obtaining counseling when needed. There is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, if you feel you need some extra guidance, it's one of the best investments you can make for yourself.

What made me finally decide to get counseling? I'm really embarrassed to tell you this part. Honestly, I should have gone years ago. I have so many past issues and memories that haunt me. But I thought I could get through life on my own. And with God of course. Me and God can do anything together, right? Well, while I won't dispute that, I will say, that sometimes we need someone else to point us to God and to help us discern exactly what is our godly response to life and what is not. I've responded both ways. Not proud to admit that. Someone actually took me to my first counselor. I was at a dead end and only falling deeper. I felt lost, hopeless, and crazy. Now, as a Proverbs 31 Ministries Speaker and Writer, I did not want to admit that I needed help. I thought I had to maintain that "have it all together" image in order for God to use me and for people to think I was worthy. Let me tell you. That is a lie straight from the pit of you know where. Since I've been to counseling and sought the input from a psychiatrist, things are much better. I even wrote an article about it that will be published in the November issue of the P31 Woman magazine. The title of my article? Glad you asked. It's What Is Wrong With Me?

Well, that's enough for today. Thank you again for your concern and your friendship. All of us beautiful girls need to stick together!

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Yeah! I Feel Good Today!

2008-09-09T21:42:00.004-04:00

How about you? How are you doing today?

I have to be honest. I've just been down in the dumps. And I haven't felt much like posting. Really down. So much that I decided to make a counseling appt. I have found over the past year that a good counselor can go a long way. It's just so good to get an outside, removed person from your life, who is a professional, to offer some guidance. Until last year, I had never seen a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I think I looked at seeing someone for emotional or mental help as an admittance of failure or weakness. And I definitely didn't want anyone to know. I'm supposed to have it all together, I can't let anyone know that I don't. I don't feel that way anymore. Seeking help was the best thing I ever did. Now I do not look at seeking help as failing, but as smart and wise. You know I don't think twice about seeking treatment for a physical illness, so why did I wait so long to seek help for depression/anxiety? Pride I guess, but that's gone. Now I encourage people, "get help if you need it! There's nothing to be ashamed of."

But today. Well today was good. And I needed it. I've had a lot of great things happen lately, but I've just been down. Jeff and I were out of sync (not anymore), the kids' schedules have been crazy, my back has been hurt, my dad's blood sugar has been mega elevated and he's needed extra care, Dylan had a rough weekend, and I've been real tired. But, today, was good. Work was fun. I laughed so hard I had tears. And after work, I actually went on a 4.5 mile walk/run and it felt amazing! My back didn't even hurt. It was the 1st time I've been able to run in 2 weeks. I thank God for today. And I even feel beautiful ..... okay, at least I keep telling myself that!

On my other blog, http://www.melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/, I posted a picture of me and Donna in high school. Since we've been talking about friendship here, I thought I'd post the picture here too.

Yes, just 23 short years ago, this was us. Me on the left and Donna on the right. Oh my gosh, I just realized that now anyone who looks at this will realize I'm NOT a natural blonde!!!

Well, I don't know if this post has offered any inspiration to you or not, but it's all I got for today.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Fun Friday :) We have winners!

2008-09-05T16:13:00.003-04:00

Oh I just love prizes! Especially if I win one! Today, on Fun Friday, we have 3 winners! Yippee!

For a little while I've been posting excerpts from a little book for teen girls on friendship. Even though it is marketed and written for teens, I found it just as valuable for me and I'm no teen! It's called Every Teen Girl's Little Pink Book on Girlfriends and it's by Cathy Bartel.

I thank all of you who have posted over the past few weeks sharing your friendship stories. I even connected with one of my good college friends through all this. She posted a comment. I haven't talked to her in years. What a blessing it was for me to be able to get back in touch with her. Although we still haven't talked yet, I've emailed her and commented on her Caring Bridge website. Another friend and I also sent her a little something in the mail today. You see, her oldest daughter, who is 11, has battled cancer and other medical conditions since she was 1 yr old. I cannot even describe to you the pain, hardships, and suffering this family has been through. They totally know what it means to trust God, because that's about all they've felt like they could do. Anyway, I praise God for allowing a post about friendship to prompt my friend, Robin, to respond. Robin if you read this, I love you sweetie! I wish I was hangin' out at Holly's with you right now watching the sun set!

Ok, on to the winners. Again, thanks for your stories! I hope these posts on friendship have encouraged you to reconnect with a friend. Or maybe prompted you to build up a friend or have lunch with a friend or pick up the phone and call a friend.

The winners are:

Jen (jc4ever40)

Margaret (anonymous...but I have your email)

Joyful (Joy)

Congratulations! I'll get your prizes in the mail to you on Monday. Make sure you get me your address. You can email me at Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org or Adminassistant@Proverbs31.org.

Have a great weekend to my sweet and beautiful friends.

Love you,

Melissa

LPB, Pt. 3

2008-09-03T11:54:00.002-04:00

I just cannot believe it's Wednesday. Would someone please tell me where this week has gone? We have one day of a holiday and I lose all track of time. I haven't done ANY blogging since last Friday. My oh my, I gotta get with it!

Before I begin writing about friendship, let me just stop to ask "how are you doing?" Are you feeling beautiful today? Do you have something to smile about? Do you know how absolutely loved and adored you are by God? And appreciated. And valued. You matter. You matter to me. You matter to your friends and family. But most of all you matter to God. Even if you don't feel like it, you do. So there! If you didn't have something to smile about before, that is good reason to smile:)

Admittedly, I've been on a downward mood these past few days. No concrete reason, just down. Blue. Unmotivated. I'm not staying there though. Today, I'm choosing to be joyful and appreciative. I'm joyful in my life today and appreciative of all God has given me. I find that sharing encouragement is just as helpful to me as it is for others. I share encouragement for the purpose of lifting up those in my sphere of influence, but what I also find is that when I am busy doing something that may help someone else, I end up being the one who is changed. Already from writing these first few paragraphs, I feel better. Praise God! He's so good.

So, on that note, today, I'm going to write what the LPB has to say about encouraging friends.

3 messages that lift people up

1. "God created you to succeed in life."

But like any created thing, you must find out exactly what you were created to do. A hammer isn't very good at being a screwdriver, but it's powerful when used for its creative purpose.

2. "No matter what you've done, Jesus Christ loves you
without conditions."

The Bible says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) When we were at our worst, Jesus gave us His very best.

3. "Heaven is a little like earth, without the bad days."

The Bible talks about streets, trees, and rivers in heaven. So
there are similarities to earth. Yet it promises no pain and no
tears! It is absent of tragedy, depression, and temptation. And God has a mansion prepared for every one of His children. (John 14:2; Revelation 21:4,21; Revelation 22:1,2)

When you have a message that encourages, you are sure to stand
out from the crowd.
Blessings,
Melissa
**Don't forget to share a comment on friendship. You could win 1 of 3 copies of Every Teen Girl's Little Pink Book on Girlfriends by Cathy Bartel. I'll be announcing the winners on Friday.

Fun Friday :) and LPB part 2

2008-08-29T11:25:00.003-04:00

Just FYI, LPB stands for Little Pink Book. (see yesterday's post)

Don't you just love how our society, especially younger ones who can text faster than they can speak have come up with all these abbreviations for words and phrases? I remember when I was younger, I'd write LYLAS when I signed a note that I'd written to a friend. (Love You Like A Sister). Now there are hundreds of these cute little acronyms (I think that's what they are, right?). BFF, IDK, G2G, LY, LOL, CULTR, NP, THX....and MM (many more).

Yesterday I began a blog series on Girlfriends that I'm going to continue for a little while. After all, it is our BGF's that so often remind us that we are beautiful!

Here is an acronym using the word GIRLFRIEND that can help grow your friendships and keep them meaningful. It is from the book, Every Teen Girl's Little Pink Book on Girlfriends by Cathy Bartel. As I said yesterday, it may be for teens, but I have found it appropriate for girlfriends of all ages. Probably because we haven't grown up as much as we think we have!

Gift---Your friends are a gift from God, so treat them that way.

Inspire---Inspire each other to do big things.

Rally---Rally around each other. You need to comfort your friends when they are hurting and be happy for them when they have something to celebrate.

Listen---When your friend talks, listen to what she's saying. This is the easiest and most important part fo being a good friend.

Fun---This is the best part of having friends!

Real---Keep it real! Don't be fake. True friends will see right through it.

Include---Expand your group of friends, and get to know others because they can influence your life, too.

Eternal---Make sure you and your friends spend eternity together by sharing the gift of Jesus with them.

Nice---Show kindness and forgiveness to your friends, even if you don't feel like they deserve it sometimes.

Dream---Dream together. Dream about your future and what you want to accomplish in life.

I'm giving 3 of these LPB's away, so if you'd like one, just leave me a comment before next Friday (Sept. 5th).

Have a terrific weekend!
Love,

Melissa

Little Pink Book Part 1

2008-08-28T07:50:00.003-04:00

Because I work in the Proverbs 31 Ministries office each weekday, I have the blessing of resources all around me. The resource room at the office is one of my favorite places. You see, I love books. Especially books that encourage, teach, and remind me of who I really am ... God's sweet and beautiful girl! I found a new book last week. It's tiny, inexpensive, and even though it was written for teen girls, I found it full of fun girlfriend facts that I could apply to my relationships as well. It's called Every Teen Girl's Little Pink Book on Girlfriends by Cathy Bartel. Costing about $5.00, it's well worth the price.

Over the next few days, I'm going to share excerpts from this book. I know that it's often my closest girlfriends who take the time to remind me that I'm beautiful and valued. As you read these words on girlfriends ask yourself 2 questions: 1. Do I have a friend like that? 2. Am I a friend like that?

3 marks of a true friend

There is a big difference between an aquaintance and a true friend.
People you simply hang out with will come and go, but a true friend is someone
who will always be there for you. Recognizing the difference will help you
develop relationships that will last. Here are 3 traits of a true
friend.

1. Honesty.
A true friend will tell you the truth no matter what, even if it may
initially hurt your feelings. Having someone who will give you an honest
answer is priceless. (Proverbs 27:6)

2. Dependability.
The people who truly value their friendship with you will keep their
word. If you cannot count on someone, or if they cannot count on you, your
friendship will not last.

3. Respect.
Mutual respect is a large part of a good friendship. If someone is
not respected, their opinions and feelings will be discounted and
overlooked. Without respect, a friendship will simply not work.

Having a true blue (No Matter What) friend, can be rare. It seems like it should just be par for the course to have friends who are honest, dependable, and respectful. But being all of these things takes time and that seems to be what most people lack these days. If you have one friend with these 3 qualities, consider yourself blessed. Hey, how about contacting them today and letting them know. If you have a friend like this, thank God and say a prayer for that person. Then do something special for her to let her know how you feel.

On that note, let me take this time to thank you. Your words and notes to me encourage me more than you know.

I pray you are feeling beautiful today, because you are. Don't forget that you were wonderfully made and God is always there to be your friend ... No Matter What!

Love Ya!

Melissa

****Hey I feel like giving away 3 Little Pink Books. Send me a note either by posting a comment or email and you'll be entered. In your response, share your feelings on friendships. The give away winners will be posted on Fun Friday, September 5th!

Stuff

2008-08-26T21:44:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Let me tell you why.

My mood and emotional state affect my blogging. I wish they didn't, but they do.

Last week and over the weekend I was just really down. I could tell you that I don't know why. But that would be dishonest. I do know why. My husband and I were not in sync. We were in a disagreement and we were not seeing eye to eye. My feelings were hurt and I just shut down.

Now why is that? Why is it that just because Jeff and I were having a quarrel that I had trouble functioning in the other areas of my life?

I don't know about you, but when part of my life isn't running well (especially my marriage), it causes the rest of my life to shut down. This is probably not healthy, but it's just how I am. I dwell. I worry. I can't rest until everything is worked out. I just want peace!

Well, I'm happy to report that all is well today. Jeff and I have made up. Neither of us were sleeping well during our time of disagreement.. And it felt so good to make up, talk about our feelings, and apologize. So now I'm back to blogging again. When there was a riff between us, there was a block in my mind and I just couldn't blog much.

On to other things. I started a Teen Blog this week. It is called Beautiful Girl (www.BeautifulGirlP31.blogspot.com) and it is devoted to teen girls and helping them feel loved, valued, and beautiful. I had a devotion running this week on the Proverbs 31 Teen site (www.RadRevolution.blogspot.com) and I have felt God calling me into ministry to teen girls. So, I'm entering into unchartered territory for me. A little nervous, but excited. If it just helps one...then I'll feel satisfied. I would love input and suggestions.

Lastly. My back is out. I can barely walk. I'd treasure your prayers. I've never had anything like this happen to me... ever! I don't know how or why. It just happened. And it hurts. Bad.

I must go. My husband is back inside. He's been working on my car (in the pouring rain, thunder, and lightning) because it just quit working today! It's after 10 at night, so I should give him my attention:)

You are beautiful. Praying you know it and feel it!
Love,

Melissa

American Idol

2008-08-19T22:09:00.002-04:00

Hey! I have not been too good at posting. Sorry beautiful peeps!

Until I can get another post up here, please go check out my family's American Idol Experience at: http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/2008/08/we-saw-american-idols.html .

Enjoy and stay tuned. I'll be posting about my girl's beach trip and making some blog changes soon.

Hope you are having a beautiful day,

Melissa

Hi Beautiful!

2008-08-14T11:11:00.004-04:00

Hi Beautiful, How are you today?

I have been SO BUSY this week! Each day I expected to sit down and blog, but it just didn't happen. Have you had days like that?

Even though I haven't been that diligent about blogging, I have been writing. So far, I've penned 2 devotions and I hope to do 3 more by this time next week. They are in my head just dying to get out, I just need to find peace, quiet, and time! Hard to come by in my neck of the woods!

I had the pleasure of speaking with a frequent blog visitor on the phone this morning. She called the Proverbs 31 office to order a magazine and I answered. She asked if I was Melissa Taylor and said she had been visiting my blog. Her name is Heather and she's from Alabama. Heather if you read this, just let me say that you made my day. Thank you for encouraging me with your sweet words. I was great to talk to you.

While I was talking to Heather, she shared with me a song by Kirk Franklin called Imagine Me. You can view the video and hear it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL6vw5xI0Bg

I also googled the lyrics. Check them out:

Imagine Me ------Kirk Franklin

Imagine me loving what I see when the mirror looks at me cause I, I imagine me. In a place, of no insecurities and I'm
finally happy cause I imagine me. Letting go of all of the ones who hurt me
cause they never did deserve me, can you imagine me. Saying no to thoughts that
try to control me, remembering all you told me, Lord can you imagine me? Over
what my momma said, and healed from what my daddy did and I wanna live and not read that page again.

(Chorus)Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally,
finally I can imagine me, I admit it was hard to see you being in love with
someone like me, finally I can imagine me.

Imagine me Being strong and not letting people break me down, you won't get that joy this time around. Can you imagine me? In a world, in a world nobody has to live afraid, because of your love, fear's gone away, can you imagine me. Letting go of my past and glad I have another chance and my heart will dance cause I don't have to read that page again.

(Repeat Chorus 1x)

Kirk talks: This song is dedicated to people like me,
those that struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self esteem, you never felt good enough, you never felt pretty enough but imagine God whispering in your ear letting you know that everything that has happened is now.Gone, Gone, Its’ Gone, All Gone Repeat

Kirk’s remarks( Oh It’s All Gone. Every Sin,
Every Mistake, Every Failure Its’ All Gone!Depression Gone By Faith It’s Gone. Low Self Esteem, Halleluiah Its Gone, All Gone,It’s Gone All My Scars, All My Pain
It’s In The Past , Its’ Yesterday. Its’ All Gone( Can’t Believe Its’ Gone) What Your Mother Did, What your Father Did, Halleluiah (Its’ Gone All Gone Oh Whoa))

Pretty powerful, wouldn't you agree?

Think on those words awhile. Gone. Gone. Gone. The past is gone. We don't have to stay there.

The last post I wrote was titled "Reflection". It was about looking in the mirror and seeing God in you. Seeing what God sees. And learning from your past, but not living in it. Gone. Gone. It's yesterday.

Love that! Thank you Heather, I've already bought it on iTunes and put in on my iPod:)

In closing, I'd like to share some fun. I'm leaving today for a beachtrip with a few high school girlfriends and I won't be blogging while there. I'll include a little fun today since I won't get to have a Fun Friday post this week. Here it is.

Let me just say, it's a good thing that it's what's on the inside that counts. My sweet doggie, Princess, who I adore, normally looks like this:

Isn't she just the cutest thing you ever did see???? Well, she went to the groomer. Her hair was all matted and knotted. They had to shave my sweet baby. This greatly changed her appearance. People are laughing at her. They ask, what she is. I'm sure this has hurt Princess' feelings. I mean, she's still the same dog with the same heart, yet she is clearly being treated differently just based on her appearance! Even her own family has given her the nickname "Stick"!!!! Can you believe that. She went from "Princess" to "Stick" all because she looks like this:

The world is a mean place! But, can't we relate to what Princess is going through? It's sad, but true. Often we are treated different because of how we look or something in our past or something in our life that seems out of the norm. That's why we need God. People can just be cruel and we cannot get our confidence and self esteem from them.
Now's a good time to go back and read the words to that Kirk Franklin song. And in the mean time, I'm going to give my sweet puppy a few extra doggie bones (yea, that's good Melissa, love her with food!) and let her sleep on my pillow while I'm away. After all, I love her ... NO MATTER WHAT!
Beautiful Blessings,
Melissa

Reflection

2008-08-11T06:00:00.000-04:00

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

As I type, I'm trying to see the keyboard through the tears in my eyes.

I'm watching "The Lion King" with my family. I've seen it a hundred times at least. I used to cry when Simba's father died, but that part doesn't make me cry anymore. The part that brought me to tears tonight was when Simba was looking at his reflection.

If you haven't seen this fabulous animated Disney picture, it's worth the rent. Here's the scene:

Simba is supposed to take his father's place as King after his father is killed by a wildebeast stampede. However, Simba thinks his father's death is all his fault and he is ashamed and scared so he runs away. He meets 2 friends who convince him he should run from his past, "Hakuna Matata" they tell him, which means "No worries". While this sounds good, the past catches up.

A wise monkey, named Rafiki, tells Simba that his father is still alive. He convinces Simba to follow him and he'll show him where he is. Simba is led to a lake. Rafiki tells Simba to look into the lake and he will see his father. Simba looks and only sees his own reflection to which he states, "That's not my father, that's only my reflection." And Rafiki replies, "Look harder. He lives in you." That's when I lost it. My family just looked at me like I was crazy. The tears started and I couldn't get them to stop.

How many times do I look at myself and only see me. But truly there is much more to me that what is seen on the outside. My Father is there. Look harder. He lives in me.

My feelings of unworthiness leave me in a state of hopelessness, just like Simba. My past actions tell me that I'm not capable of making a difference in my world today. My failures convinced me that I could never be a success and the world would be better if I just kept quiet. All lies.

The piece of me that enables me to rise up and meet each day with optimism and gives me the strength to keep going is He Who lives in me. My Father is there. Look harder. He lives in me.

The movie doesn't end there and neither does my life. (or yours) Simba's father appears in the sky and tells him, "Remember who you are." In other words, because of who you are and who lives inside of you, you do not have to run away. You are worthy. You are beautiful.

Rafiki the wise monkey then hits Simba on the head with his stick. Simba says, "Ouch! What did you do that for?" Rafiki replies, "It doesn't matter, it's in the past." To which Simba states, "Yea, but it still hurts." Yes, Simba, I can relate, it does hurt. But it doesn't mean we are to quit and consider ourselves done for.

Rafiki tells Simba that he can run from his past or he can learn from it. He goes to hit Simba one more time. Simba moves and doesn't get hit. Why? Because he learned from the past. Simba returns home to fight for his rightful place as King and saves his kingdom from evil.

Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see?

Look harder. Now what do you see?

Blessings,

Melissa

Fun Friday:) on Sunday!

2008-08-10T21:10:00.003-04:00

To read this week's "Fun Friday" post, click www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com.

Hope you had a great weekend and have a fabulous week!

Blessings,

Melissa

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2008-08-07T11:15:00.003-04:00

I was sharing with Samantha, my very good friend and co-worker, about the names we carry as our identity. Like I wrote about yesterday, http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-am.html in a post titled "I Am...", you know like, "I am a bad mom" or "I am ugly" or "I am depressed" etc etc. Well, she told me about a video clip on you tube. You may have seen this or something like it, but I thought it was extremely powerful. The quality isn't great, but it's simple and you cannot watch it without being moved. At least that's my opinion.

This video clip, to the tune of Total Eclipse of the Heart, shows that when our identity is in Christ and we give Him our burdens, labels, issues, etc, we are Free and Saved from this world. We may still live in this world, but we are New Creations.

Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kuEEMBgNUs .

I pray you live today as a New Creation, free and saved.

Have a beautiful day!
Love,

Melissa

I Am....

2008-08-06T13:04:00.003-04:00

What are you? Who are you?

Recently, I wrote quite a bit about my anxiety and depression. As I gathered my words and talked to others about the subject, one of my friends made a great point. It was Amy, http://amylbrooke.blogspot.com/ . She said (and I'm paraphrasing) "I don't say 'I'm depressed or I'm anxious', I say, "I have depression or I have anxiety." Since she put it to me that way a few weeks ago, I have never referred to myself as depressed again. That's not who I am, it's what I have.

Same with my weight. Instead of saying, "I am (fat, overweight, pleasantly plump, skinny, thin, insert your word here ________)", say, "I have weight issues" or something like that. When we say, "I am ________", it just implies that that's our identity, and I don't like that. Nope not one bit!

Maybe you have a disability. You've been labeled disabled. It's still not who you are. It's your condition.

When you have a cold do you say, "I am a cold."? When you have strep throat, do you say, "I am strep throat."? Of course not. However with other issues, especially those that relate to the mind or body, we carry and label ourselves as if that's what and who we are. It's a condition not an identity. Conditions change. Our identity does not.

Many people use the roles they have in life to define who they are. "I am a wife." "I am a mom." "I am single." "I am a lawyer." I am a teacher." "I am a friend." Still, all of those can change. All of them. They still don't define who you are. Not really.

Even this blog is called "I am beautiful." It's a positive term and one I hope you do believe about yourself. But even so, it's not who you are, it just describes you.

In order to fully live like a child of God, we have to believe ourselves to be children of God. Once you accept your identity in Christ, it cannot be robbed or taken away from you. Jesus is your Savior, He loves you, He forgives you, He is with you, and that is that. Your responsibility in all of this is to live your life for Him and make decisions to take care of yourself and try to honor God in all you do. You can do that most of the time. And the times that you don't, well, it doesn't mean that you aren't His Child anymore, it just means you messed up. I love where we are told of our identity in the Bible.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a New Creation; the Old Is Gone,the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

Read this from the Life Application section of my Bible:

"Christians are brand-new people on the inside. The Holy Spirit gives them new life, and they are not the same anymore. We are not reformed, rehabilitated, or reeducated----we are re-created....we are not merely turning over a new leaf; we are beginning a new life..."

Do me a favor. Fill in the blank: "I Am _________________" and use your identity here.

Call yourself by name.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa
forever a New Creation in Christ Jesus, Child of God, Daughter of the King

Do you know Jesus? Would you like to? Visit: http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/doyouknowJesus/doYouKnowJesus.php . And as always, if you have any questions or want to talk about it, just get in touch with me and I'd be overjoyed to speak with you:)

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Blog Post

2008-08-04T19:39:00.002-04:00

Because, I got tagged!!!!! What???? What the heck is tagged?

I found out it is just a harmless and fun blogging game. And here are the rules:

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you --- Amy, http://amylbrooke.blogspot.com/
2. Post the rules on your blog (check - you're looking at them)
3. Write 6 random things about yourself (see below)
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them (see below)
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger know your entry is up.

Now for my bit of randomness:

1. I've only read one novel in the past 15 years. Oddly enough, I love to read, but I usually read Bible related study books or magazines. I read a novel at the beach this summer and loved it. I hope I'll make the time to read another one soon.

2. I get great pleasure out of my dog. Her name is Princess. She is a 5 pound poodle. She is so sweet and gets along with everyone. She has brought so much happiness to our family and she is mine! I got her for my 38th birthday. Her full name is Princess Poppy Angel Taylor:)

3. I resisted this whole blogging thing. I thought it was insane. My husband still does, bless his heart. Really, I thought what in the world could I have to write about every day and why would anyone care. Now I'm addicted. I love reading other blogs and I especially love the friends I've made.

4. My family means the world to me. This may not seem random, but I had to mention it. I would do just about anything for my husband and kids. I am so very grateful that God gave them to me. I feel like it is an extreme privilege to be the wife of Jeff Taylor and the mom to Blake, Hayden, Dylan, and Hayley Grace Taylor.

5. I love cheeseburgers, fried chicken, and sweet potato fries. My favorite place to eat is a restaurant called The Lizard's Thicket in Columbia, SC. When I go there, I get my fried food fix of: fried chicken, fried okra, squash casserole, candied yams, corn bread, banana puddin' and sweet tea. It is the best! This is about a once a year experience for me. (it's about all my digestive can handle anyway!)

6. I LOVE college football!!! I mean like really love it. So much, that when I get a speaker request, I check the South Carolina Gamecock and Florida Gators football schedule to make sure it's not a big game week before I accept. Football Saturdays are big at the Taylor house. We have a lot of people over, the BBQ is always on, and we are serious about our football. My husband and I both attended Appalachian State (#1, 3 years in a row in their division) and I was raised to know Gamecock football well. Don't get me started, I could go on and on.

So there I did it. And now I guess I have to tag 6 more people. So have fun with it. Let us know something about you we don't know. And thanks Amy for tagging me, it was fun:)

Here are the 6 people I've decided to tag. If you are reading this PLEASE go visit them and introduce yourself. Here they are:

1. Amy Carroll- I just love this girl. She is on the speaker team with me at Proverbs 31 and has the best attitude and enthusiasm of anyone I've known. She was my roommate in Ecuador last year and I absolutely adore her! Amy, you've been tagged! http://amycarrollp31.blogspot.com/

2. Denise Hammond- A dear dear friend of mine. We've been close sisters in Christ for at least 15 years and we were sorority sisters before that:) She doesn't blog near as much as she should. PLEASE go visit her and tell her that Melissa sent you. Denise, you've been tagged! http://denise-hammond.blogspot.com/

3. Glynnis Whitwer- I tagged Glynnis because I just wanted to. She is on the speaker team with me at Proverbs and she is the Senior Editor of the P31 Woman. I have so much respect for Glynnis. She is so beautiful inside and out. Go visit her. Glynnis, you've been tagged! http://www.glynniswhitwer.blogspot.com/

4. Heather Kudla- I tagged Heather because I just met her. She made a sweet impression on my heart. You can visit her blog here. Heather, you've been tagged! http://hkudla.wordpress.com/

5. Sarah Drohan- I tagged Sarah because she's starting a blog. She's only made one post and I want to encourage her to keep going. I would love it if you sent her some encouragement to show her it's not that difficult. Sarah, you've been tagged! http://sarahdrohan.blogspot.com/

6. Cheri Bunch- I tagged Cheri because she's just so sweet! She was in my She Speaks Evaluation Group a few years ago. She has such a heart for the Lord and her smile is conagious. Cheri, you've been tagged! http://cheribunch.blogspot.com/

Ok, now I'm going to let these poor souls know they've been tagged. Thanks Amy Brooke for tagging me!

Have a beautiful day people!
Love,

Melissa

We All Have Different Issues

2008-08-03T22:37:00.002-04:00

As I read through some previous emails and comments, something became quite clear to me. We share much in common...yes, we need Jesus desperately because our own efforts, husbands, friends, and physical selfs don't make us completely happy and content...they can't. And, we have a need to feel accepted and loved, no matter what our size, shape, or situation.

One of the comments that touched me the most came from a woman who was struggling with the exact opposite physical problem as mine. I continually talk of wanting to lose weight. She spoke of the need to gain weight. How her family and friends commented often of how she looked ill and needed to gain. I can't relate to that. At all. But I can relate to her heart. She just wants to be content and satisfied with who she is. She wants to be what others want her to be. One of my greatest friends in all the world is so super skinny. I frequently joke of how I'd like to give her half of my thighs and hips. And she jokes back of how she'd like that. She tires of people telling her that she looks unhealthy and weak. No one tells me I need to lose weight, but it's obvious I do. Our society is weird like that. We need to recognize that those of us who need to lose feel just as self concious as those of us who need to gain. Thank you for being so honest. Self image and feelings of doubt are just as important no matter what the situation. This blog is for EVERYONE! Not just the overweight. I'm so glad you chimed in. Sweet sista, I love you.

No matter what the reason: stuck together toes (like mine on both feet), being overweight, being underweight, having a horrid past, having a sinful past, being rejected, having a shameful scar, being divorced, having an abortion, having a drugfilled past, committing adultery, focusing on people pleasing, carrying baggage from a relationship or past, having a depleting marriage, WHATEVER you carry with you....there are many issues. BUT, they don't have to hinder you from being what and who you are today. Hear that????? I hope so. You are NOT what you did or what you were a part of. It's who you are that matters. Are you a child of God? Yes. Do you love Jesus and accept Him as your Savior? Well, that's up to you and that's who you are. You are NOT what you did. That's what you did. It's NOT who you are.

So, who are you? I don't know. Only you can decide that. I can tell you who I am. I am Melissa Taylor, daughter of the One and Only Almighty King of this Universe. God loves me unconditionally and unfailingly. I am forgiven and my slate is clean. Yours can be too. I am pure. I am ok, alright, accepted, and totally good. That is ALL because of Jesus. My actions have shown a very flawed and disturbed woman. My actions have been scewed and misled and confused. But God still loves me. He still loves me. No matter what my issues. No matter what my past. No matter what.

Yes, we all have different issues. We may not understand each other. That's ok. We can't judge each other and we shouldn't. It's NOT our place to do that. It's our place to love like Jesus does. If we all would just praise the Lord for Who He is and focus on who He wants us to be, we'd be so much better off. Yes, we all have different issues. But we all serve the same God.

My friends, you are so beautiful. Whether you are overweight, underweight, scarred, abused, sinful, filthy, undisciplined, confused, scared, afraid, confident, secure, insecure, or whatever you are.....you are beautiful. And Jesus loves you and desires that you enter His family.

Any questions? Ask me. I'll share Jesus with anyone, anywhere, or no matter what.

Much Love,

Melissa

Fun Friday:)

2008-08-01T13:10:00.006-04:00

Is it Friday already???? Well, yes it is, so welcome to Fun Friday. On Fridays I'll be posting identical entries on my blogs. These entries will not be too serious, but hopefully be a little lighter and bring a smile to your face.

As I try to think of something fun to write about, I'll just write some random thoughts.

Oh yea, and before I do that, let me say a whoppin' THANK YOU to you who wrote 10 Great Things about yourself from earlier this week. I prayed and thanked God for you and each of your fine qualities. You are truly beautiful people! God Bless You!

And, thanks for the comments that came in yesterday in response to my devo, My Thoughts vs. God's Word. Who knew that I would need those Truths so desperately today! (Well, God did) I came under a little criticsm today and I needed those Truths. I'm sad so many women can relate to all I've shared, but I have to admit that it is comforting to know I'm not alone.

A few people asked where they could find my magazine article on my experience with anxiety and depression. It will be featured in the November, 2008 issue of the P31 Woman. I guess I wasn't too clear about that.

Some exciting news that I wasn't going to announce, but I guess I will. I'm starting ANOTHER blog. Yes, as if I don't have enough of them already. The Lord has impressed my heart to reach out to teen girls. The recent writing responses confirmed what I thought God wanted me to do for some time. I'll get more into the story behind it all over the next few weeks. But on August 25th, I'll launch a new blog, "Beautiful Girl", specifically for teen girls. Details to follow:)

Speaking of a "Beautiful Girl", tomorrow is Hayley Grace's birthday. Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!!! My sweet daughter turns 7 and I can't believe it. I opened today with the words, "Is it Friday already?" now I feel like saying, "Is she 7 already?" Where did those years go? She's growing up to be such a strong, dramatic :), sweet, kind, and beautiful girl. Thank you Lord for giving us Hayley Grace. We were finished having kids, but You weren't. What an amazing blessing! So, tomorrow little Miss Birthday Girl calls all the shots. She'll begin her day with breakfast in bed. She requested doughnuts. She'll end it with a family party where buttered rice, mashed potatoes, and Hannah Montana cake will be served. Do we have our carbs covered do ya think? Whatever goes on in between will be her choice. It's her special day.

My love genuinely goes out to anyone who is reading this message. I pray you will find the fun in today and celebrate wonderful, beautiful, you!

Have a fun Friday! (Saturday and Sunday too!)

Blessings,

Melissa

My Thoughts vs. God's Word

2008-07-31T05:30:00.005-04:00

Hi! Welcome to the Encouragement for Today Daily Devotion Readers! If you have stopped by this blog after reading my devotion, http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-thoughts-vs-gods-word.html , I'm glad you're here.

This blog is called, "I Am Beautiful", but I can tell you that those words don't come out of my mouth easily. You see, I don't think I'm beautiful. I think I'm overweight, undisciplined, nervous, insecure, untalented, out of control, weak, unworthy, and ugly. But I know better. Those are my thoughts, not God's Word. God's Word tells a very different story. That's one of the reasons I created this blog. I struggle with negative thoughts about myself and I don't ever want to forget what God says about me. And indeed, I am Beautiful, and so are you. If I had it my way, every woman and girl in the world would view herself as God sees her, not as she sees herself or as others may tell her she is.

I'm not sure where your thoughts are today. And I don't know what or who helped to form the thoughts you have today. But I know the One Who made you. And I know that He knows best. And in order to begin transforming your thoughts to be in line with God's Word, you have to think like Him. That often takes training and being super intentional. It doesn't come natural to me, does it come natural to you? Only by filling my head with God's Word, do my thoughts begin to reflect His. So, I talk about His Word, I write about His Word, and I read His Word. I have to or I forget His Word!

I recently wrote an article on anxiety and depression for the November issue of the Proverbs 31 Woman Magazine. It was one of the hardest articles I've ever written. You see, I didn't want to admit that I was a Christian and struggled with negative thoughts. I didn't want to admit that I needed help. I tried so long to fix myself and I became exhausted to the point of practically breaking down. I don't hide those feelings anymore. And I don't try to fix myself anymore either. My life has turned around. Now when "My" thoughts enter my head, I check them as quick as I realize what I'm thinking. I say, "Now Melissa, is this what God says about you?" The answer is usually "No Way!"

I want to close with a prayer written by Sheri Rose Shepherd,

My King, You Are Words Of Life

Lord, I love You so much. I want to know You better and
walk closer with You more than ever before. So why do I struggle to sit
and read (and believe) Your Word?

God, please grow in me a stronger passion for Your powerful
Word. Remind me that every love letter was written just for me and that each one is full of life-giving truth to live by. Don't let me look for
wisdom in this world any longer, but instead remind me by Your Holy Spirit that all I need to know about how to live can be found in my
Bible.

So I ask You now to help me make time to spend with You
regularly in Your precious Word, Your love gift to me. I pray that all
You have to say to me will rest securely in my heart and mind as I gain a deeper understanding of who You are and how much You love me.

In Jesus' Name I Pray.
Love,
Your princess, who wants to know Your Word

"The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full
of majesty." Psalm 29:4

If you too struggle with believing your thoughts over God's Word, be intentional on filling yourself with something different. Subscribe to the P31 Woman, (http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/p31womanmagazine/ReceiveMagazine.php or call 877-731-4663), keep reading the daily devotions, ask a friend to pray for you, start a blog or begin journaling God's Word, post Scripture verses all over to remind yourself of what God says about you (I do!), join a Bible study or check out one of the Proverbs 31 resources(http://shopp31.com/ or call 877-731-4663), and above all else, open your Bible. If you have questions about how to have a personal relationship with Jesus, let me know. I'll help you. It's the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I pray you have been encouraged today. Believe you are amazing and beautiful and forgiven and loved and gifted and worthy and wonderfully made, because your Creator does. And fix those thoughts on God's Word. You are so worth it!

Love and Blessings,

Melissa

***If you do want to place an order from Proverbs 31, the Shopping Cart online has been experiencing difficulties. Please call the office if you cannot order online. I'll be glad to assist you! (877-731-4663, toll free number).

10 Things...keep em coming!

2008-07-30T14:12:00.002-04:00

I am thanking God for the 10 things you like about yourself! Including mine, that's 60 things we've collectively found to be be thankful for about us.

Keep it up. If you haven't already posted 10 things you like about yourself, share them now. (see http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2008/07/move-on-sista.html for details).

It's not so easy to think of 10 things to like about yourself. I could think of 100 things to like about someone else, why is it so hard to do for me? Because typically we don't think the best of ourselves. We need to change that. This is a start.

10 Things you like about yourself...keep 'em coming!

Love,

Melissa

10 Things

2008-07-29T14:03:00.003-04:00

I hope you are sticking with your challenge of only saying nice sweet things about yourself. Stop that negative thinking before it gets the best of you.

Today, try to make a list of 10 things you like about yourself. Really, 10. Don't stop at 1, 2, 5, or 9. Write 10. If you stumble, ask someone for help. After you've made your list of 10 things you like about yourself, thank God for each one of them. Let me warn you, this is really hard.

Here are mine.

1. I am a fun mom who loves her kids to pieces!

2. I am a wife devoted to making my husband happy and I love him with all my heart.

3. I am not afraid of what people think about me. (anymore)

4. I am not a quitter.

5. I am a survivor.

6. I am an encourager and I really care about people.

7. I like that I enjoy being around people and that I'm social.

8. I like that I am a writer and that God is using that in ways I never thought possible.

9. I like that I am a Proverbs 31 Woman:)

10. I like that Jesus is in my heart and that my life is in His Hands and that because of Him I am free and forgiven!!!!! Actually, I love that about myself!

Ok, there's my list. Now I'm thanking God for making me the way He did! Please share your list too.

Focus on what there is to like, and I know you can find 10 things! I can't wait to thank God with you!

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Feeling Beautiful?

2008-07-28T19:13:00.003-04:00

Well, I surely hope so, because you are! Time goes by too quickly to not recognize the beauty within.

This morning, I opened my book, Jesus Calling , to read the devotion for July 28th. As usual God was speaking to me. I listened and absorbed the truth in these words:

"Let My Love seep into the inner recesses of your being. Do not close
off any part of yourself from Me. I know you inside and out, so do not try
to present a 'cleaned-up' self to Me. Wounds that you shut away from the
Light of My Love will fester and become wormy. Secret sins that you 'hide'
from Me can split off and develop lives of their own, controlling you without
your realizing it.

Open yourself fully to My transforming Presence. Let My brilliant
Love-Light search out and destroy hidden fears. This process requires time
alone with Me, as My Love soaks into your innermost being. Enjoy My
perfect Love, which expels every trace of fear."

I love how God's perfect love is stronger than all my fears...."expels every trace of fear". But in order for that to happen, I have to open my whole self to Him. That's what the verses in Psalm 139:23-24 are all about:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

I know for a long time, I used to ask God to fix me, but I never asked Him to search me or examine me...I guess I was afraid of what He would find! But I didn't need to be afraid, He loves me NO MATTER WHAT! And He loves you too.

And 1 John 4:18:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

God's love can quiet your fears and give you confidence.

This may sound petty, but I am feeling less than beautiful and less than confident in my body size. As I've mentioned before, I gained lots of weight over the past year! Like 30 pounds! I was healthy and in shape and now I'm not. "Failure" "Loser" (really gainer) "undisciplined"...these are all names I've called myself. Today I even called myself a cow and said "Rattle rattle here comes the cattle"..and I was referring to myself. I laughed about it, but I'm really ashamed that I would talk of myself that way. I know my Creator would NEVER say that about me.

That's one of the many reasons I need the Lord each and every moment of every day. Because I too quickly begin to ridicule myself. That's so wrong.

Here's my challenge to myself and to you this week: Only speak positively of yourself. Don't cut yourself down to yourself or anyone else. I'll agree to it, if you will? What do you say?

Let's ask God to examine us and know our thoughts and motives and remove any offensive thoughts or ways.

Feeling Beautiful? Well, not really. But I know I am. Thank You Lord that I AM NOT what my feelings are. I am Yours. I am Beautiful. And you are too:)

Love ya sweet sistas,

Melissa

Fun Friday:)

2008-07-25T19:03:00.006-04:00

Like I said yesterday, my posts have been so serious lately. But in my defense, they have been a pleasure to write. It has been therapeutic for me...I'd use another word besides therapeutic here that a good friend of mine recently taught me, but I can't remember it; it started with a "c"...anyway, whatever, I'll continue with my thoughts. (edit here: Amy and Joy informed me the word I was looking for was "cathartic". You words people...I just love you!)
The writing, reading comments, receiving emails, discovering we are not alone and that we are indeed ok and normal, well, it's been a blessing to me. If I write about the very things that bring me the most pain and that I struggle with the most, it ends up actually helping me. Only God could use what Satan meant to harm me and bring beauty out of it. I Love Him, don't you?

Today, I listened to Lindsey Kane's CD, "Move Me Aside". Oh how I love her music. When I heard her sing for the very 1st time at She Speaks this year I absolutely fell in love with her sound. It was soft, mellow, folksy, and rockin all put together. Then I met her and realized she was just as beautiful as her music....inside and out! My favorite aspect to any song is the lyrics. If a song can tell a good story, I'm hooked. I think that's why I like Brad Paisley and Jimmy Buffett so much. You can say what you want about either of them, but you can't argue with their story telling abilities. Same with Carolyn Arrends and Nicole Nordeman. Great singers, great story tellers with their music. Lindsey had that affect on me.

Given what we've been discussing over the past week, and it ain't been too pretty, this music had me feeling beautiful and so in love with my Savior. And did I mention she writes her own songs???? Here's one titled, "Measure of Beauty"

All beautiful you are My darling
There is no flaw in you
I have to look away by one look of your eyes
You ravish My heart My sister My bride

Chorus:
Fearfully and wonderfully made are you
Cheerfully and beautifully formed are you
I will give you eyes to see the way that I measure beauty

Jesus give me eyes to see the way that You measure beauty
You are beautiful
You are beautiful
You are beautiful

Do you hear Jesus saying that to you? And each time He tells me that "I am beautiful", I add on, "No Matter What" because I just can't believe He would think such great things about me. Me. Me. Flawed, sinful, ugly, disturbed, misread, misunderstood, lacking, far from perfect, impulsive, etc etc me. That "Me" is beautiful. He says so and He knows all, so I really must be. Yeah! And it's fun Friday, so let's celebrate!

Right now, go put on your favorite music. Dance with your kids. Dance with your main man. Dance alone. No, don't dance alone, dance with God:) Dance with your pet. Sing loud. Sing soft. And if you can't do this physically right now, just close your eyes and imagine. Bring joy into your life, it's fun Friday and the God of the universe loves you and thinks that you are mighty special. He's with you , He's always been with you. Let the par-tay begin:)

Now, to end this very Fun Friday post, I'm going to share some pictures. Earlier in the month, I shared on one of my blogs how visual I am. And that placing visual reminders around me is very helpful in me remembering who I am and Whose I am. My jewelry does this for me.

Bracelet: Silver, with the word "HOPE"...reminds me to keep hope and always believe:) I bought it for myself.

Rings: Middle finger ring says "4GVN"...reminds me that I am.
Given to me by my friend, Denise.

Pinky rings: My original wedding and engagement ring. Jeff gave me those almost 19 years ago. I will always treasure these.

Rings: Wedding ring is new. Just got it last month. A renewal of commitment from my husband. I love the simplicity of the platinum band.

Ring on pointer, has a "J" on it. For Jeff, my amazing husband.
Bracelets: Cross on one-that's obvious, points me to Jesus.

Verse on the other one- Mark 10:27, With God All Things Are Possible:)

Have a wonderful and beautiful weekend friends. Thank you for encouraging me and reminding me that I'm not alone in this life. And now let's go have fun! Bye-bye!

Love,

Melissa

****One request. Please pray for my dad. He went into the hospital while on vacation this week in Myrtle Beach, SC. Thank you.

Change Can Be Good

2008-07-24T18:07:00.002-04:00

Whether it's something that happened as long ago as your early childhood or as recently as yesterday, the past can keep you from moving into all God has for you. That's why He wants to set you free from it. And not only that, He wants to redeem and restore what has been lost or destroyed in your past and make it count for something important in your life.

Oh, how I can relate to the above!!!!!!!!!! For what seems like forever, my past did keep me from moving into all God had for me. My past plagued me, scared me, disgraced me and I was just used to calling myself unworthy. How could He use me? Oh how, that is the farthest thing EVER from what God would want for me to think!!!!

I got used to that kind of "stinkin' thinkin'" though. Pit dwelling became my hobby. Pit stops lasted more than a minute. I stayed there too long without refueling. It was natural for me. It felt like home.

Redeem me? Can God do that? Restore me? Can God do that? Make my life count for something? Can God do that? I'm so glad the answer to all these questions is a big fat "YES!"

Sometimes in order to move forward, a change is required. After all, when you've become used to being down in the dumps, it's just 2nd nature, so change is definitely necessary. And change can motivate and invigorate. It can even be exciting.

If your past is holding you back, decide to make a change. Set some goals. Do something good for yourself. Sometimes little joys bring big rewards. This week, I have been so encouraged by hearing from women who are setting goals and making changes to improve their lives. They aren't going to sit around and just take it anymore. They are moving to action. Ladies, I applaud you. You have my utmost respect. It's just beautiful:)

Just because you decide to do something good for you doesn't mean your life circumstances will change. They probably won't. At least not right away. Maybe never. But your heart can change big time.

Ask God where He wants to move you, then go there! Do you realize that God believes in you? He's your #1 fan. Don't settle, go for positive change.

Redeem me. God can do that. Restore me. God can do that. Make my life count for something. God can do that.

Are you stuck in a pit? You don't have to stay there. The climb out may be tough, but we can do it. Change can be good.

So, here's to change!

Health, Hope, and Happy Blessings,

Melissa

We Are Really Doing This!

2008-07-22T15:45:00.004-04:00

Yes, yes we are. What are we doing, you ask? We are reaching our goals, that's what we are doing.

We are no longer listening to the lying and negative thoughts that tell us we can't and won't or we're not worth it or qualified. Even, "well, God just made me this way" is sometimes a lie. God didn't make you to hate yourself or cast disbelief in yourself. He believes in us. If He didn't, He wouldn't have made us in the first place. He didn't have to ya know!!!!!

Since so many of you have emailed me or commented on my blog, I'm going to brag about you. I'm impressed, tickled, and inspired by your goals and commitments!

Joy is going to exercise 5 times a week! You go girl! I bet there are some hills "up north" for you to climb! I'm going to be checking the accountability section of your blog...do you still do that? You are such an encourager to me, I want to encourage you too. Way to go:)

Jillian is starting to run and is training for a 5k in 5 weeks! Rock on! I know you can do it and I can't wait to hear about your progress and success. Whooo-Hoooo!

Michelle is actually the one who inspired me to post my picture in the sidebar. I haven't even told her that yet. She has been doing great and is recommitting to her good healthy habits and exercise. She's a walker walking her way to good health. Michelle, you are doing great!

Deb joined Weight Watchers this week. Yeah Deb!!!!! That's wonderful. You can help me count points! Let us know if you find any scrumptious low point treats! (like the Skinny cow ice cream sandwiches for 2 points!)

Marilyn in Mississsippi is walking. Now Marilyn, I just want to tell you that I think you are an incredibly beautiful woman and I want you to refer to yourself that way. Inside and out! You keep up that walking. Keep getting up early to avoid that awful Mississippi heat!

Diane-Now I'm not sure what Diane is doing for exercise, bless her sweet heart, last time I saw her she could barely walk. But, she did say she'd post a picture of her backside to make me feel better. Diane, I'm still waiting...........

Bernadette is getting up and doing at least 10 minutes of exercise! Awesome Bernadette. You keep doing this and I bet you'll be up to 15 minutes before you know it. She also is committing to read her Bible this week. Bernadette, this is the best thing you can do for yourself. Fill yourself up with God's Word. Your goals are great! Way to go!

Renee Swope (don't kill me for posting this, but I want to make sure you really do it!) is most probably and very likely going to begin training for a 1/2 marathon. We are going to do our long runs on Saturdays together (beginning in about a month) and run the race in Kiawah in December. Her hubby is doing the full marathon! Isn't that great! Renee has already been attending gymnastic classes and walking. You can so do it Renee! You can do it! We can do it together!

And Kelly, you commented on Mandisa's song, True Beauty. I had the awesome pleasure of meeting Mandisa 2 years ago when she was on the American Idol tour. (Here she is with Lisa) She was so beautiful, so kind, so genuine, and we hugged over our shared love of the Lord. I love her song True Beauty. The whole CD is so good. And isn't music just good for the soul? I don't know if I could make it through a workout without it!

Ladies, Congratulations to all of us for setting a goal and sharing it with others. We have to set a goal before we can reach a goal. Please keep me posted on how you are doing. You inspire me and give me courage to keep going. Also, even if you are struggling, share that too. Let others learn from your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. We all have them. It's fun to share the good. It's hard to share the not so good. But, it's okay.

Many of us who battle the feeling good about ourselves thing, often question if we are normal or what's wrong with us. I am taking questions that I've received over the past week and posting about them on my other blog. I talked about being normal and how our feelings shouldn't dictate what we think about ourselves. Hop over there if you want to read about it. http://www.melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/, July 21st, "you Are normal".

Before I close, I'll share a little joy. I've lost 6 pounds since beginning WW a little over a week ago! Now of course that won't happen every week. If you have started a healthy living program before, you know the first week is when the most weight is lost, USUALLY NOT ALWAYS! I also FINALLY exercised for the first time since my vacation. I walked about 3 1/2 miles early this morning (5:30 am). I'm hitting my neighborhood gym tomorrow morning to do some cardio and weights. Wish me luck. I mean pray for me to keep getting up early. Once I'm up, I love it, but it sure is hard to get up. All of your comments really have me motivated right now though.

I'm so glad we can encourage each other to reach our goals. Now, go look in the mirror and look deep into your own eyes. Say, "You my dear are beautiful!" Because you are!

Love and Beautiful Blessings,

6 Pounds Lighter, Melissa:)

Gonna lighten it up a little today:)

2008-07-19T22:14:00.004-04:00

Wow. Yesterday's post was a toughy, so I'm going to lighten it up a little for the weekend.

Last night. Smile :) Last night, my husband took me on a date. Usually our dates consist of dinner, music, and home for a little lovin'. This week, we had 1 out of 3 and it was sooooooooo good! MUSIC :)

During our relationship, which dates all the way back to August 1981, one of our favorite things to do together is to go to concerts. Over the years, we've seen a lot. We both love music. I love lyrics (no surprise....words would be my love language) and he loves guitar. The show we attended yesterday, gave us both. We went to see Brad Paisley, here in Charlotte.

(Brad pictured here giving my son, Blake, an autograph at the Cars Movie World Premier a few years ago.)

He played a guitar (alternated between about 5 of them) during every single song. Each song told a story. There was a variety of music styles, ranging from good ole twang country to good ole southern gospel. I thought we were going to be on the 8th row. I was wrong. We were on the 7th:) It was just fun. We had so much fun. We sang. We hugged. (me and Jeff, not me and Brad) For 2 hours we forgot about real life. What a great night. (Thank you Jeff! It was one of my favorite concerts of all time. It takes a secure man to take his wife to see Brad Paisley and not mind that she thinks he's cute! But not as cute as you!)

Enough of BP. I added a new element to my blog today. On the right side I added some new pictures. I'll update them each week. It is REALLY time to get back on track with my health. Do you know that 9 months ago, I was 25 pounds lighter than I am today? I will write more on why I think that happened on Monday, but it is just a fact. Even though I hated to do it, I posted full body shots, front and back in the sidebar. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me to do????? I cannot believe how I've gone from size 8 to size 14 in just a little time. But, I'm not getting down, I'm just keepin' on. I've gotten a decent start with some minor exercising over the past few months. I started Weight Watchers last week (down 3 pounds thank you very much) and I've committed to run a half marathon in December. I am not a stranger to running. I used to LOVE IT! Less than a year ago, I was up to 9 miles. When I went back to work in October, my schedule was so different, I just quit. Plus I work with the world's greatest treat bakers and they love to share. How can I say 'no' to Barb's muffins, Wendy's pound cake, Samantha's apple thingies, Teri's chicken and dumplings, and LeAnn's full meal catering? Plus there's always chocolate! Well, up to now I haven't said 'no' and that's one of my problems. Melissa, repeat after me. "NO THANK YOU". I've got to learn to say that!

So, take a look. There I am at my starting point in my back yard. Each Saturday I'll take a new picture and post it. I think this will greatly motivate me as I work towards my goals. And I'm really excited to see the difference over the weeks!

Before I close, I want to say, that I fully know that no matter what our size, we are beautiful. I don't think beauty comes from looks, appearance, or size. For me, it's more a matter of what I turn to for comfort and what I think I'm worth. I will touch more on this in my Monday post. I've used food. I haven't been healthy. That needs to change.

My oh my, I can't believe I've posted my backside on my "I Am Beautiful" blog!

Love and Sweet Blessings,

Melissa

Little Girl, Are You Okay?

2008-07-18T15:57:00.004-04:00

Today has been an extremely hard day for me. I've cried more tears today than I have in a while. I think I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Over the past 3 days, I have read hundreds of stories. Many of them mirrored my own life in numerous ways. I could feel the pain coming from the writers' hearts, because I understood their pain. Attack came in the night.

I went to bed feeling alone, rejected, and worthless. Not so beautiful, huh? Doesn't sound like that woman who posted of hope on her other blog yesterday now does it? (see http://www.melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/, "Don't You Dare Lose Hope" July 17, 2008)

Now, if you think hearing about my childhood sexual abuse could disturb you or bring up too much pain, I give you warning here. That's what I'm going to talk about today. It is not beautiful.

I woke up this morning and I heard him in my head. "You turn me on." I felt his touch inside of me. I felt him lead my hand to touch him. I heard his heavy breathing and panting. "GO AWAY!", I screamed. It was as though it happened just a few minutes ago. That's how fresh and familiar it was. Yet it happened 34 years ago. I was only 7 years old. How dare he rob me of my innocense. How dare he introduce dirt and shame into my life and get away with it. Is it terrible for me to hope he's rotting in hell right now. I guess I should hope he repented and found the Lord or got help for his obvious illness. He was very old. Was he just senile or was he really the devil? I don't think I've forgiven him, but I'll think about that later.

I could not shake the memory. It haunted me on my way to work. It haunted me as I continued to get more emails today from women with painful pasts looking for hope and peace and happiness. Then something occurred to me. I bet my devotion, "Love Me" brought up some of the same feelings I was having today in my readers. I heard the cries of despair. The reaching and grasping for help. All because of a past sexual experience...abuse....rape....molestation.

I'm so sorry if that's how some of you reacted. There is hope for us though. It is painful. We do carry it. My husband, as hard as he may try---bless his heart---just doesn't understand why I can't leave it in the past and move on. It doesn't rule my life, however it is something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I ache for that little girl (me) who was helpless, yet felt guilty from that day forward.

It happened more than once although I don't know how many times. I think I've blocked some of it out of my mind. If there's more, I pray it stays locked up. I desired protection. Protection I found in the shape of a mask. I wore one pretty much from that day forward.

The mask is off. My life is good. But I share all this with you because I want you to know that every day is not a good one for me. I struggle with anxiety and depression. If it weren't for the Lord, I'd been gone a long time ago.

Friends, we can get through this. Let's take the Lord at His Word, He can work it all for good. (Romans 8:28). It was horrible. Unmentionable. Shameful. We don't want anyone to find out the things we've done as a result.

God is good. He is good all the time. We are survivors. We are here. And there's a purpose for that.
These are my feelings and thoughts today.
As I close, I know I need to inhale a great big breath of love and peace from my very protective heavenly Father. (Inhale..........................) And now I'm exhaling all of the pain for the moment (exhale........................).

My husband just got home. We have a date planned and I am praying the Lord's blessing over the entire night. We are going to a concert. Brad Paisley is in town. :) We have 8th row seats. :) That makes me smile.

Praying beauty to fill your souls at this very moment. Because, you are so way beautiful. And so am I. Let's keep telling ourselves that, Ok?

Much Love,

Melissa

You Can Be My Friend

2008-07-17T16:08:00.003-04:00

Hey. Do you need a friend? Do make friends easily? Do you want a friend?

Friends have been very important to me over the course of my life. Maybe because I love to be around people or maybe because I'm pretty good at making friends. I don't say that to brag at all, but for some reason people usually feel comfortable around me. I can meet someone and within 5 minutes they are sharing things with me they've never told anyone. I don't know why that is.

Friendships come in all forms: church, co-workers, neighbors, high school, college, long-distant, BFF's, casual, deep, No Matter What (those are my favorite), aquaintances, face to face, e-mail and blogging buddies, family, mentors, and I could go on and on. Often it is friends who remind you the most that you are beautiful when you don't feel like it or forget. Often it is a friend who understands you when no one else does. Often it is a friend who will tell you the truth even when it hurts, but they still love you anyway. And often it is friend who breaks your heart.

I have noticed that women seem to thrive on friendships. Of course we are all different, but it just seems like the women I meet and hear from are looking for good friends. They desire closeness with other women. They desire community and a safe place to fall. They want to have someone or better yet a group of people who are there for them to laugh with, cry with, get crazy with, sing with, pray with, and love....

A really really really good friend...a NO MATTER WHAT friend (that means they are there for you and love you NMW...hard to find I might add)..anyway, a NMW friend has these qualities:

1-They love you unconditionally and unfailingly.
2-They forgive you.
3-They encourage you.
4-They serve you.
5-They hold you accountable.
6-They pray for you.

I have many good friends, but very few NMW friends. Those are rare and precious. I have asked myself recently, am I that kind of friend? I confess, I've failed miserably in this area over the past year. Maybe it's because my life was in shambles, but that's not a good excuse really, although it is true. Maybe it's because I went back to work full time for the first time in 13 years, again, no excuse. Or maybe it's because I just didn't feel like making the effort......

The truth is, my heart desires to do the right thing. My heart loves way big. Mercy often consumes me and becomes a weakness. I want so badly to be your best friend, but I'm not real good at it. I end up making so many friends that there is just no way to give them what they deserve. Recently I was called on this. And I have not known how to respond because it just broke my heart that this friend was so disappointed in me. Oh how I love friends. I would never want to intentionally hurt anyone.

I received over 200 blog comments (www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com) and over 100 emails over the past 2 days. Now this is not the norm I promise you that, but my heart desires to personally respond to each one of them, especially those who poured out their hearts to me. But I just can't do it all. That makes me feel crummy.

More often than not, I have great plans of something I'm going to do for a friend, like: buy them something special, send them a thank you note, send them an email, give them a phone call, etc. I will wake up in the morning intending to do that. Well you what they say the road to hell is paved with don't you? Yep, good intentions. (that's just a saying, don't blast me for it please) Do my good intentions make me fake? I'll mean to follow through, but then the day takes over and before you know it the day is gone. I hate that!!!!! I promise you, I do not mean to be a bad friend. Am I? Look at my heart, it's really good, it really loves you...oh my actions need to be quicker and better in this area though.

All this to say, I don't feel like a very beautiful friend lately. Do you want to be my friend now?

Hey seriously, friendship is a gift from God. And speaking of that, one of my NMW just walked in the door. And she brought dinner! I guess I should get off the computer and spend some time with her. Her name is Donna:) She rocks.

I'll be your friend if you like. And you can be mine too, that is if you still want to.

Blessings Beautiful Friends,

Melissa

Overjoyed and Overwhelmed

2008-07-16T13:33:00.002-04:00

Yep, that would describe me today. I'm overjoyed that I've been on Weight Watchers for 2 days and I'm enjoying life:) I received so much encouragement from other WW ladies. Thanks y'all! It really has helped doing it with others here at the office and hearing from people who it's working for. I am a firm believer that what program you do isn't really the issue, it's can you stick with it and is it healthy. So, WW or whatever (I've been on them all), cheers! Here we go again. I can already see the 30 pounds leaving my body:)

Overjoyed...oh yes. I'm also overjoyed by the response to my 2 devotions that ran yesterday and today. Overjoyed because I had no idea how my story would impact so many people. And not just impact, but open the gates to be real, among Christian women. Open the gates to take the masks off and deal with who we are and why we are this way. If you'd like to read them, visit http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/love-me-heart-of-lost-teenage-girl.html to read the first one titled, Love Me and click http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/i-love-you-heart-of-married-woman.html to read the part 2 titled, I Love You. Both of these deal with inner beauty and believing in yourself because of who you are in Christ, not your past, circumstances, appearance, performance, etc.

I'm also overwhelmed. I've received over 200 responses if you count my blogs and email combined. Most of them are from women who share similar circumstances or have experienced similar struggles. Most of them just desire love unconditionally. They desire a complete marriage with a happily ever after appeal. I relate.

So today I stand in complete awe of what God is doing in my life and in using my life. It is so not me and all Him. Lord, thank you for providing me with strength and courage to dive into the ugly. Most of all thank you for revealing beauty there. I pray each struggling, insecure, fearful, haunted, abused, abandoned, sad, lonely, unfeeling woman would be touched by You and refined into a steady, secure, trusting, peaceful, loved, found, happy, content, and full of God woman. I heard so many say, "I know God loves me, but it's just hard to believe and feel." I pray we all become "feeling" women. In Jesus' Name!

Do you feel beautiful today? You are whether you feel it or not.
You are beautiful...

No Matter What,

Melissa

I Can Eat 21 Points:)

2008-07-14T23:56:00.003-04:00

So I did! Yes, it's true, I did begin Weight Watcher's today. I am allowed 21 points a day and 21 points I ate. I still need to incorporate exercise more consistently...why do I love to sleep so much????? Really, let's examine that question. Why is it that I have such a hard time getting up in the morning? Are my dreams that pleasant? Am I really tired? Do I not go to bed early enough the night before? Or am I just lazy? Honestly, I think the last question may be the truth. I just love to lay in bed. Ahhhhhhhhhh, I just love it.

I can eat 21 points up until I lose the first 15 pounds, then I'll have to cut back to 18 points for the remainder of my weight loss.

So, here I go.......again. And before I forget, those of you who commented or emailed me (and you know who you are), I love you. Your encouragement means the world to me. I wonder if sometimes I put too much of myself out there. But when you share back with me and let me know you understand because you've been there or you are there, it's so helpful.

I wrote a devotion that is featured on the Proverbs 31 Ministries website today. If you haven't read it, please take the time to visit, http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/love-me-heart-of-lost-teenage-girl.html.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Come Monday

2008-07-13T21:51:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is Monday. A new week. A fresh start. Hope for a new beginning.

On Monday, I start Weight Watchers with my co-worker and good friend, Samantha. I am the queen of weight loss programs, I know WW is healthy. I am leaving my comfort zone of LA Weight Loss, which is also healthy and I did lose weight there, and starting something new. I would rather do a plan with someone I'm with every day than to continue on my own. Plus, I'm ready for something new. I'm good at following a program and losing weight. In fact, I've probably lost 1000 pounds in my life time. If I'd just quit gaining it back!

Now I know that the root of my problem is NOT food. It's deeper than that. I've been through counseling this year. I've prayed. I've examined my life and asked the Lord to examine my life. My problem is that I abandon ship when the going gets tough. I don't deserve true happiness and health, I'm not good enough. (I realize that's not true....) I will not bail on life anymore. I deserve happiness. I am good enough. I am a princess....a daughter of the King!

So, again, I'm here, to break the cycle. I have hope that this time, I'll lose weight, gain good health, and keep it off this time. I have to believe that. I have faith. I'm confident. And I am beautiful:)

Come Monday, it will be alright.....so, Good Night.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Continuing to

Relax

2008-07-10T11:47:00.003-04:00

***I'd like to say I wrote this myself, but I didn't. My quiet time devotion was so sweet this morning I wanted to share it with you. So, I am copying it exactly as it is written in the book, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.

July 10

RELAX IN MY PEACEFUL PRESENCE. Do not bring performance pressures into our sacred space of communion. When you are with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Though I am 'Lord of lords and King of kings', I also desire to be your intimate Friend. When you are tense or pretentious in our relationship, I feel hurt. I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you. I long for you to trust Me enough to be fully yourself with Me. When you are real with Me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gifts that I have planted in your soul. Relax, and enjoy our friendship.

Revelation 17:14, "They will make war against the Lamb, but the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings---and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful followers."

John 15:13-15, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

Have a beautifully blessed day. Make some time to relax in the peaceful presence of your Best Friend!,

Melissa

Beautiful People Make Mistakes

2008-07-08T13:29:00.003-04:00

I talk a lot about outer beauty vs. inner beauty on this blog. Today I want to talk about something different. It still is about beauty...well, at least with a stretch it is. Actions and Words.

Beautiful people speak with beautiful words. Beautiful people behave and their actions reflect their beauty. But not all the time.

Beautiful people speak beautiful words.

In my devotion last week, I wrote about how words about Dylan's scar hurt him so badly. I also wrote about how I hid my toes for 10 years because of words someone used. Sticks, stones, and words hurt. The examples I used were specific to physical beauty...outward and visible scars. God made us in His image and He knew of the physical flaws when He designed us. Scripture is plenty about how we are made and He loves us and thinks we are just precious regardless of what the world may see or think of us. I can begin to feel better about my toes and my being overweight because I know God sees beauty in me. Many beautiful people have spoken words to affirm this and I'm so grateful for them. They are speaking the truth. To believe anything different would be a lie.

Beautiful people behave and their actions reflect their beauty.

Stop. Pause. Think about this. I think I'd need to add "most of the time" to this statement. Confession time. My behavior is not beautiful all the time. Some of the time it is and I'd like to say that most of the time it is. Am I beautiful if:

I yelled at my kids

I told a lie

I betrayed someone

I was a bad friend

I hurt someone with my actions/lack of actions/words

I was rude on the phone

I was selfish

I didn't follow the rules

I didn't tame my tongue

I disrespected my husband

____________________ (fill in the blank with whatever you think of)

How can people be beautiful if they behave this way? Enter Jesus. :) The answer is "YES" we can and we are...NO MATTER WHAT (my favorite phrase)! Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone fails sometime. (some more than others...like me:) Everyone falls short of perfection, daily. Everyone has regrets, at least the beautiful people do because they recognize that their behavior could have or should have been better or different. I've found with myself, I usually do not intend to mess up. My heart doesn't want to hurt anyone, but sometimes my behavior unintentionally does. Not only does it hurt the other person, but then when realized it comes back and bites me too. And it hurts so badly. And I don't feel so beautiful then.

What can we do when our behavior does not reflect the beauty we behold within? We talk to God. We say we are sorry. We ask God to reveal how we should change if change is indeed needed. And we ask for His help.

James 1:5-8 (The Message)

5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

Jesus died for the ugly people like me. And because of that death on the cross, which was so ugly, beauty was born at the resurrection and beauty was born in us who confess and repent. Forgiveness brings beauty. We are beautiful not because of what we say or what we do, but because of what Christ did for us.

Now that gets a shout of joy from me!!!!!!!!!

I must say though, that knowing this is all true and feeling it are 2 different things. Words are my love language. They build me up and they tear me at my core. Whether they are true or not isn't always the issue. Lies hurt. Often truth does too. To allow the beauty within to shine and not fade away when words, behavior, regret take place, I have to keep my guard up, get people to pray for me and continuously look up to my Father. My eyes come off of Him and I sink just like Peter did when he attempted to walk on water but took his eyes off Christ.

In case you can't tell, I think I've messed up recently. And I'm hurting. And I'm trying to tell myself that it's not what others think it's what God thinks, and He knows my heart. He also knows I make mistakes and there is much room for improvement in this body of mine...physically and behaviorally.

Beautiful people make mistakes. Beautiful people improve and strive to get better with each passing experience.

Am I Beautiful?

I Am Beautiful...at least that's what I'll keep telling myself!

Melissa

Beautiful People

2008-07-07T14:42:00.002-04:00

If I could reach out and hug all of the people who poured out their stories and shared their faith, encouragement, and love with me and Dylan I would do it right now!!!! The response to the devotion (see previous blog post right before this one) was so confirming for me. I am often relunctant to share my flaws and even wonder if anyone really cares, but what I learn is that even though the circumstances are different, many of us, especially women, struggle with similar issues. The response was also used to strengthen Dylan. He felt encouraged, unashamed of his scar, and grateful that God could use his story of pain to help bring healing to others. As a mother, I am so thankful that so many people wrote to tell him that. I can tell him all day long how special he is, but to hear it from people he's never even met, well, that really hit home with him.

Beautiful people are not perfect. They don't have perfectly manicured nails. Their hair is not any one color. Their weight does not matter. Their life circumstances don't even matter. Beautiful people have a beautiful heart. They come in all shapes and sizes. Many have visible scars and many have unseen scars. Beautiful people radiate Light.

Thank you for being beautiful.

Much Love,

Melissa

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

2008-06-27T23:32:00.014-04:00

****I actually wrote this blogpost on Friday, June 27th. As I write, I am getting ready to head out of town for a much needed vacation with my family. I have a devotion running on Tuesday, July 1st and I wanted to welcome any Proverbs 31 Devotion readers to my blog who are visiting because of that devotion. Of course, I love my regulars too. Welcome to "I Am Beautiful".

***If you haven't read the devotion, you can click http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/power-of-words.html to read it.

_____________________________________________________________

This blog is called "I Am Beautiful" because it's the very thing I struggle with...feeling good about myself. On my own, I don't feel beautiful. I'm overweight. I say things I regret. I do things I regret. I don't have much style, really I don't. I'm freckled due to sun damage. My face breaks out like a teenager, yet I'm 40...I mean 41. I have 2 toes stuck together on each foot. And I'm very clumsy. But according to the Lord all of that doesn't matter. He loves me anyway. And He loves me no matter what. He says I'm "wonderfully made". He says I'm made in the "image of God". How is that not beautiful? When I describe myself, it's not so pretty. But when God talks, I'm "precious and honored in his sight"!

If you read "Encouragement for Today", http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/, on July 1, 2008, you read the story of Dylan's struggle in this area also. I actually blogged about this on my other blog, http://www.melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/ back in February. When Dylan came home from school upset over the words spoken to him, it broke my heart. I mean it really broke my heart. I could so easily relate.

Dylan is a great golfer, as pictured here...just look at that swing!

I remember so clearly being 7 years old and playing barefooted on the playground. Some kids I didn't even know came up and started playing too. One of them noticed something different about my feet. You see, my 2nd and 3rd toe on each foot are stuck together. He pointed that out loud and clear. He called the others over to look too. I felt like a freak on display. "Ewww, look at her toes, how weird!" "Why are they like that?" "How does it feel?" These are words that sent me into hiding...hiding my feet for the next 10 years.

Here they are...my stuck together toes, as pictured earlier this year after having bunion surgery. On my other foot, the toes are actually stuck together all the way up.

For 10 years, I would not go barefooted or wear sandals. Those words, which I don't think were really meant to hurt me, did hurt. Someone pointed out that I was different. And I just wanted to fit in.

Finally in high school, I kind of got over this. My boyfriend, who is now my husband, told me how beautiful my feet were. Funny thing is, we dated 9 months before I would go without shoes in front of him. Then when he saw my feet, he said they were beautiful. That changed everything.

Words have power. Just read James chapter 3. Words can tear a person down or they can build a person up. I think often we are so quick to speak we fail to remember how powerful our words can be.

I'm happy to report that Dylan is doing fine today. He looks at his scar in the mirror daily. If someone asks about it, he usually says something crazy like, "yea, if you think this is bad you should see my dad!" Or "yea, I just have a scar now, but you should have seen me when I had a hand sticking out of the top of my head." Or, "Oh my, the shark attack was terrible, but I'm doing much better now!" I hear him joking, but I know his heart wishes the scar was gone.

Don't we all have a scar that we wish was gone? Maybe it's a physical flaw like my stuck together toes or Dylan's scar on his head. Or maybe it's the scar from a past regret. Or maybe it's a scar from being violated. Your scar may be from a fear or insecurity that you have. Or maybe your scar is that you just want to feel loved...no matter what. Whatever the scar, I've learned that our scars are indeed beautiful to God.

I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite verses. It's Isaiah 45:3. "I will give you treasures in darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." There are treasures in our scars. So often it is our scars that draw us closer to God and actually help us to realize that we need Him in our lives.

I'd love your comments on the devotion, words of encouragement to Dylan, or sharing of your stories of your personal scars.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I pray you realize how beautiful you are. No matter what you've done, where you are, where you've been, or how you look or feel. You, my friend, are beautiful. And so am I:)

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa

Tomorrow, July 2nd is Dylan's 11th birthday. Happy Birthday my sweet beautiful Dylan! You are an amazing boy and I love you so much. I also love the way God is using your life to reach others. Thank you for giving me permission to share your story. You rock Big Dyl! Love you, Mom

In the first picture: Here is my sweet joyful boy! This picture describes Dylan perfectly. He is sensitive, sweet, smiling, and always wanting to have fun! And the 2nd: Dylan and I pictured here a few years ago after his team won the soccer championship. He asked me to mention here that he no longer has a bowl cut and never will again:)

Motivation Fades, but Commitment Remains

2008-06-11T21:55:00.003-04:00

You know how when you first start something new, you get real excited about it? And you are motivated and have all this willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal? Well, that's how I get at least. And that's how I was when I posted my new goal to run a half marathon next December. I set up a walk/run schedule, I was eating healthy, I went online to find a training schedule, and even selected the race I wanted to run. I even recruited my husband, not to run, but to support me. He was very excited and proud of my new goal. Last week I exercised each day and actually looked forward to it.

This week however, the motivation began to fade. But I'm still committed! I can't believe how last week, I was so excited to get up each day and run. I told so many people how I was going to run 13.1 miles next December. Then the weekend came. I went to the mountains with friends. Had a great time. But when I came home, my excitement of the new goal had faded. Monday came and I did not want to get up and run...or walk...or even crawl. I just wanted to sleep and eat potato chips. Not exactly the formula for a marathon runner!

I'm thankful that my body doesn't rely on feelings to achieve my goals. If it did, I definitely wouldn't make it very far. I made a commitment...a goal. And I'm not quitting. Quitting isn't beautiful.

This week, it took a few days to get back into the game. And that's okay. Will and motivation will fade. Only with a solid goal and dedication will I actually get to the prize of the goal. I find my Christian walk is like that too. There are days when I am on fire and so ready to be all that Jesus wants me to be. I'm ready to live my faith, walk my talk, and share what Jesus does for me. Then there are also days when I feel like I just can't do it any more. I'm tired. I'm not good enough. I've failed. I don't feel like I'm a good example to anyone.

Fortunately, those feelings are just that...feelings. They are fickle and they change quickly. And they don't define the goal. My motivation may fade, but my commitment remains.

I'm committed to running that race in December. I'm committed to getting my body in shape between now and then. And I'm committed to Jesus.

I'm so thankful to be beautiful...aren't you?
Love to all my peeps,

Melissa

A New Goal: 13.1 Miles

2008-06-03T20:58:00.003-04:00

I have a new goal and I'm so excited about it! It's something I've ALWAYS wanted to do and now I'm going to do it.

I am going to run a 1/2 marathon. Yep, that's right. I'll have that 13.1 sticker on my car. My time frame is very doable. I'm signing up for the Kiawah Half Marathon to take place on December 6, 2008. That gives me 6 months to prepare and get ready. I talked to Jeff about it and he is all for it and we are going to make a weekend of it...a get away with a little exercise thrown in. The most I've run is a 10 miler and that's been a few years, so this will be a challenge and give me good reason to keep up my workouts. I'll begin charting my progress and my training on this blog. Right now, I'm walking about 5 miles a day, but not all at one time. I'm running some, but only a little at a time. I'm going to keep building until I've built up. I'm going to find a training program online. I'll share it when I decide which one I'm doing.

Is there anyone out there that wants to join me? Not necessarily with running a race, but setting a goal? Come on ladies, let's go. Set a goal and go for the prize. I'm so excited!

Love,

Melissa

Looking Forward to an Awesome Week!

2008-06-01T21:31:00.002-04:00

Are you looking forward to this week? What do you have planned?

As I've posted, I'm really trying to focus on my thoughts and keeping my mind set on what is true, excellent, and praiseworthy. When negative thoguhts enter, I challenge them with the truth. The result is that I have felt so much better!!!! I'm actually happy to be me:) Even though I'm 25 pounds overweight. Even though I have made a mess of life over the past year. Even though I have disappointed so many people around me.

I am still happy to be me. Why? Jesus lives in me. No one can conquer me because of that one fact. No one. Nothing. I am alive. I am so well. I am free. I am forgiven. I am a new creation. I am beautiful.

This week I want you to join me in an awesome week. Of course there is much out of our control, but there is much in our control. For what is in our control, let's make it beautiful. Pick out one Scripture that you can learn and meditate on and live this week.

For me, I'm picking Joshua 7:10, "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?". In other words, I am getting up. I have confessed and now I am getting back to my High Calling in Christ. I will not spend any more time on my face. I will move onward and upward. Because of Christ I am worthy of that privilege.

And I am looking forward to an awesome week!

Love,

Melissa

Waiting to Weigh In

2008-05-30T15:38:00.004-04:00

Today is a "weigh in day" for me. Since last October, I've put on roughly 25 pounds! Honestly I have no one or nothing to blame this on except myself! Oh I could tell you that my circumstances were gloomy and times were tough, but I can also tell you that overeating didn't solve any of my problems. In fact, it just gave me one more.

Now I have some choices. I can sulk over the fact that my clothes no longer fit and I'm overweight. I can call myself a loser and a failure. I can sit in my house in front of the TV with an open bag of chips and gain more weight as I weep about myself. Yes, I could. And believe me I have at times done all of this. But not today.

Today, my choice is to treat myself like I was made in the image of God (see http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2008/05/image.html).

I'm going to treat myself like my body is the temple of the Lord's (see http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2008/03/take-care-of-your-temple.html).

I'm going to treat myself like I'm God's masterpiece (see http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2008/03/gods-masterpiecewho-me.html).

When I look at myself through God's eyes, my weight really doen't matter at all.

Here I go. Although I'd like to be lighter, I know I'm dearly dearly loved. And that I am beautiful:)

Bye Bye Beautiful Friends,

Melissa

Image

2008-05-28T14:15:00.004-04:00

"God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

So often we use the words "self-esteem" or "self-image" when describing how we think of ourselves. I know I use them. Struggling with my self image has been a recurring issue for me and therefore my self esteem has suffered because of it. Thanks to God, friends, and a wonderful counselor in my life, this has gotten much better.

The Bible says that we were created in the image of God. Does that just blow your mind or what??? Is your image anything like that of God's? You probably said "no". That's because most of us suffer from low self-image.

God is perfect, this is true, but He doesn't expect us to be perfect. The Bible has countless accounts of the lives of people who God loved no matter what and they were far from perfect.

Christ died for you and me because we can never measure up and we can never be perfect. But like author Kimberly Davidson puts it, "He died so that we don't have to be perfect."

I have more to write, but I've got to go pick up my kids from school. I shall return!

__________________________________________________________________

I'm so frustrated right now because I added to this post and when I tried to post it, my internet connection went down and I lost it all! Do I have the time and energy to write again? I have a Bible study to get to within the hour! Guess I'm not perfect, good thing I don't have to be!

So, where was I. Oh yea, we can't be perect and we don't have to be perfect or even try. Our minds are so powerful. The thoughts that come into our heads have incredible power and can contribute greatly to our self image.

I have been very intentional on my thoughts lately. Especially the thoughts I think of myself. For the longest time, I have been my own #1 critic and accuser. However, I've learned that what I think about and especially dwell on is totally my choice. Now, when a negative thought about me enters my mind, I ask God if it's really true. I find that nine out of ten times, it's not. I'm so used to playing those negative self tapes over and over in my head that they just naturally pop in there. Instead of staying there, I determine that it's a lie (in most cases) and think of something good. I might meditate on a certain Scripture or even think about things I like about myself. There are many great things about me (and you!) that I can think about! This is still very hard for me, but I get better and better at it every day. I have had so much fun in the past month and I truly believe it's because my mind has occupied new information and thoughts. And it's been my choice to do that!

How can your self-image be low when you were created in the image of God? That's a question I've been asking myself. Being beautiful has nothing to do with physical appearance and everything to do with our hearts. My heart is full of love and I was created by God and therefore I am beautiful...and so are you!

Who is your image consultant?

Blessings, (and praying this will post this time!)

Melissa

Are You Content?

2008-05-06T12:56:00.005-04:00

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

Oh I so want to answer this question with a big resounding "YES"!!!!!! But the truth is, I'm not content. Well, I kind of am, at least I think I am, but.....

I complain.

I am not satisfied with life.

I worry.

I get anxious.

I try to fix things...and people.

I try to fix myself.

I want new clothes.

I wish I had thicker hair.

I wish I had a thinner waistline.

I wish I had more closet space.

I could go on and on. It is really so selfish. And I say it and mean it, "Lord I am sorry. Please forgive me!" I am blessed beyond measure. I have the Lord in my life. What else could I possibly want????

From one of my favorite books, His Princess, Love Letters From Your King,

You were
given peace when you let Me into your life. It IS possible, My princess, to
enjoy your life with a peaceful mind and a contented heart. You have so much to
look forward to when you're settled in your heavenly home with Me. But for now
you must
remember that nothing you buy or collect will calm your spieit or
soothe your soul like I can. You came into this world with nothing, and that is
how you will leave it. Let Me do more
than give you the good gifts this life
has to offer. I will give you a place of peace, decorated with delight and
filled with memories that will be more cherished than anything this world has to
offer. So let Me be your treasure, and I will give you a rich life that will
become more
beautiful than anything money can buy.

Love,
Your King and your
Contentment

Ok, I'm content:)
Have a blessed day,

Melissa

Pee and Squat:)

2008-05-02T22:33:00.003-04:00

Yes, that's right. I said, "Pee and Squat." Ha!

The Pee and Squat is my new everyday workout plan. It's easy and practical.

Now, just so ya know, this post is not meant to be like the greatest inspiration...I'm just sharing something that is working for me.

This week, I worked out 4 days. I sweated and I felt the burn. But I also know that there is more I can do without killing myself. More little efforts I can set forth that will make a difference in body, but not a difference in my day. One is the "pee and squat."

If you've seen the movie "Legally Blonde", then you are familiar with the "Bend and Snap." Well, this may not attract the UPS man, but it will lift your buns:)

Here is a great way to get some extra toning into your day without sacrificing time. Each time you go to the bathroom to go pee, also do some squats....like this:

***Go Potty. After you've done your business and washed your hands, before you leave the bathroom....
***Do 10 Squats
***Do 10 Side Bends (each side)
***Do 15 Waist Twists/Punches

Then exit the bathroom.

If you do this each time you go, you will burn 100-200 extra calories per day (depending how many times you pee!) Pretty cool, huh?

I just had to share.

Love,

Melissa

Ok, now I'm off to Pee and Squat!

Why is it so hard to believe...

2008-05-01T15:46:00.004-04:00

That we are indeed beautiful?

Are we just so used to cutting ourselves down?

Are we just used to hearing lies from others?

Why is it so easy to believe...

That we don't fit in?

That we aren't good enough?

That we are ugly?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." That's a lie too. They do hurt. And if you are someone whose #1 love language is Words of Affirmation (written or spoken), like me, then you know that names and words do hurt.

I received a phone call today at work from a woman who knew the Truth, yet she believed the lies. Her own husband was using words to defeat her and she was buying into it. She was heart broken. She asked if I would pray for her. She was at the end of her rope and she didn't have the strength. She was sobbing. As the Holy Spirit began to speak God's Word and God's Truth to her through me...I know it was the Holy Spirit, because I could never have spoken the way I did, I amazed myself at the Scriptures that came to mind and the words of encouragement that poured from my mouth...it was all God. I promise you this woman was so thirsty and I could just imagine her drinking the Living Water as she realized who she was in Christ. When we hung up, I thought, I needed to hear all of that from God too! As I was telling this sweet woman how amazing she is in God's eyes, I realized that way too often, even though I know these Truths, I don't live like it. I don't think about them enough.

If you are reading this, please know...You are indeed beautiful. You are a magnificent creation that God chose to put on this Earth. Your circumstances do not define you. Other people cannot decide who you are. And if the words of another are in conflict with the Word of God, they they are lies. Don't allow yourself to believe them. And I won't either:)

I naturally tend to believe the worst about myself. Left to myself, I can get down rather easily. By surrounding myself with people who build me up and desire the best for me, I'm reminded that what I'm dwelling on is not the truth. Notice I said "naturally". Naturally being just me, Melissa, I may not be capable of much. But there is He Who is living inside of me that is great enough to conquer and overcome anything.

I'd like to change my thought life. Beginning today. I'd love for you to join me. The next time I catch myself "believing" something other that the absolute truth about myself, I will stop and pray. I'm going to select one verse a week to meditate on that tells me who I am in Christ.

The first verse I'm picking is an oldie but a goodie (ha! they are really all oldies but goodies I guess) It's 2 Corinthians 5:17- "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

So with that, this new beautiful creation, made in the image of God, is out of here! Let's remember that we are indeed New Creations and let's think like one who is thankful and grateful for the life she's been given!

Blessings Beautiful Creations,

Melissa

It's been a long time.....

2008-04-29T22:37:00.002-04:00

but I'm still beautiful!!!!!!

How's that for confidence??? Oh I only wish I felt that way every day! The truth is, this has been a very tough month! I just had to take a break from blogging and the pressure to "do" anything.

My dad was here for a while. We moved him into his new place last week. It was hard. We miss him and I know he misses us. He's living alone in an apartment in downtown Greenville, SC. We will visit him as much as we can, and he will visit us too.

So, honestly, no weight has been lost or exercise been done regularly in the past few weeks. I just haven't kept track. I've been emotionally drained. In fact, I've had to fight from listening to the enemy. This time last year, I was 25 pounds lighter. That's tough to face.

But God.....yes that's right, "But God"....God gives me hope. God gives me courage. God gives me strength. God gives me fresh new beginnings.

So, Beautiful Friends, I begin today exactly where I left off.

I'll begin logging my progress in the margins again...if you want to hold me accountable, please do!!!! I have some new goals that I'll reveal in my next post.

In the mean time though, read this article from the Weight Watchers website. It is not only inspiring, but pratical. It will also encourage you to include God on your plans for health and weight loss. http://www.weightwatchers.com/success/art/index.aspx?SuccessStoryId=10191&sc=17 Try that link to read an amazing success story.

I've missed journaling here. I am beautiful....so are you! Do you believe it?

Much Love Beauty Queens,

Melissa

Be Delicous Reject User...Where Are You?

2008-04-04T23:51:00.004-04:00

Ok, this isn't useful or beautiful to YOU!!!!!!

But for me....Who was the sweet person who offered me their bottle of "Be Delicious" by DKNY? It is my very favorite perfume. And more importantly, it is my husband's very favorite perfume. I mean it really turns him on:)

Some sweet friend either emailed me or blogged me, offering me their bottle of "Be Delicious" because their husband did not like it. I've looked back over my messages, but I couldn't find it. It's not major important, but just thought I'd ask about it.

If it was you, I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE IT OFF YOUR HANDS!!!!!! It was such a gracious offer that I am most grateful for. Have a delicous day!

Blessings,

Melissa

****Update- I just found out who made the sweet offer. She just happened to post today on my other blog, www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com and mentioned it! What timing. She didn't even read the post on this blog. Thanks Kelly!!!!!!!!!

Real Beauty

2008-04-01T10:37:00.007-04:00

In my last post, I talked about the "Real Age" test. I heard from many of you who were surprised by your age, like I was about mine. I'm 41, yet my Real Age was 48, based on my current overall health. And then I heard from many of you who, admittedly, I'm a little jealous of. Your Real Age was the same or less!

Actually, I'm very proud of you. If your Real Age was the same or less, it's probably because you take care of yourself....as we all should! I have made a commitment to intentionally work on my health. After receiving the suggestions of changes I could make, I have a plan in place. I made the people around me aware of my plan and asked for accountability. I'll retake the test in 3 months. Hopefully I'll see some changes. I work to change what I can, but accept what I can't. A few of you fell into the category of having a higher Real Age due to things you can't change. That's when we have to accept how we are and remember what REALLY matters most. Health and Real Age are good and fine, but it's Real Beauty that really matters.

What is Real Beauty? I guess that depends who you ask. When I want a totally accurate answer, I go to the One Who knows all ... the One Who made me in the first place ... sure I can search elsewhere for the answer, but that's taking a chance I don't feel like taking! 1 Corinthians says, "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (NIV) So, I think I'll ask He Who bought me.

"Lord, What does Your Word say about real beauty?"

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who
fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs
31:30) You are not beautiful based on your charm or outward
appearance, those can be fake and fading. Real beauty is a woman who has a
healthy fear of the Lord. This doesn't mean you are scared of God.
It means you trust, revere, and respect Him as your authority.

"...How beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good
news." (Romans 10:15) I'm loving this. My feel ARE NOT
attractive, even on a good day. They are dry, cracked, and 2 of my toes
are stuck together on each foot! And right now, one of my feet has been
bandaged up for 6 weeks and will retain a permanent scar after the bandage is
removed. But according to God's Word, my feet are still beautiful.
They bring the Good News (in my opinion GREAT news!)

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as
braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it
should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet
spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter
3:3-4) This is what the Life Application Bible says about these
verses: Peter instructs Christian wives to develop
inner beauty rather than being overly concerned about their outward
appearance....This does not mean that Christian women should be dowdy and
frumpy; it is good to take care of oneself and look one's best. But far
more important is the developing of an inner spirit of godliness...True beauty
begins inside.

Any more thoughts on Real Beauty are always appreciated. I pray you are filled with Real Beauty today.

Beautiful Blessings,

Melissa